Hunter's Rules
by CodeOne
Summary: Zacharia Hunter is a cynical old cop who has kept his career on the rails by following a few simple rules. When he is sent (much against his will) to be the first human liaison with the sapient mammals of Zootopia, however, he finds himself partnered with two rookies- a rabbit and a fox. Hunter figures he has a lot to teach them- but never realizes how much he has to learn.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: So, I didn't realize before I got the idea for this work that Humans in Zootopia fanfic has sort of a bad rap. The reason I went with this idea was because there is an amazing amount of humorous potential in a tired, cynical old beat cop finding himself policing with what, to him, looks like a bunch of talking plush toys. This is primarily a humorous piece, though with a few more serious parts thrown in. Still, I solemnly swear that I will try to make you chuckle at least once a chapter._

 _There is no human-animal romance, by the way, in case anyone was worried or curious, though I did run with Wilde/Hopps for reasons._

"Officer Hunter here to see you, Chief."

"Send him in."

Zach Hunter walked into the Chief's office and snapped to attention. Snapped to something resembling attention, at least. "What's up, Chief?"

The tall, somewhat portly man behind the desk glared at him. "Would it kill you to show just a little respect, Hunter?"

"I don't know, sir, never really tried."

The Chief grunted. "I suppose you're honest, at least." He picked up a folder off the desk- a remarkably clean desk for the Chief of police of one of the largest cities in the Human Stars. "Here," he said as he tossed it.

Hunter caught it, but didn't open it, instead frowning at the Chief quizzically. "What's this?"

"It's a _fol-der_ , Hunter, containing your kryptonite."

Hunter sighed. "Paperwork."

"Orders."

The cop cocked an eyebrow, opened the folder. He looked up. "You can't be serious."

"I am serious, and don't call me- damn." The Chief frowned. "You're supposed to call me Shirley."

The Chief never quite had gotten the hang of jokes. Hunter decided- uncharacteristically wisely- to let it pass. "Zootopia. You want me- Zach Hunter- to go to Zootopia."

"Want?" The Chief leaned back, pursed his lips. "I wouldn't say want, exactly. Ordered, though? Oh, yeah."

"They don't even let humans onto the planet!"

"Not true. They have- are going to have, I should say- a very nice tourist area, though strictly access controlled. Hell, most of the anim- er-" He paused, keyed his intercom. "June, what is the current politically correct term for the inhabitants of Zootopia?"

"Hang on, Chief, let me check the chart...sapient non-human Terrans, it looks like. Or was that last month-"

"Never mind. Look, Hunter, here's the deal. Since the Human Stars have reestablished diplomatic relations with the, uh-"

"Sapient non-human Terrans," said Hunter helpfully.

"The Zootopians-"

"Technically, isn't Zootopia just one city?"

The Chief glared at him. Hunter was unfazed, but had learned when to shut up through hard experience.

"The Zootopians. We've made nice with them, so it turns out it's all the rage to participate in cultural exchange."

Hunter held up a hand. "Ah, I should stop you right there, Chief, I'm not-"

"I am fully aware that you are not in the least bit cultured, Hunter, but you are exchangeable. We're getting a timber wolf officer." The Chief's eyes unfocused and his face turned somber, as if contemplating something disastrous but just beyond the horizon. "A timber wolf. _Officer._ "

"He could be his own K-9 handler at least," noted Hunter.

The intercom buzzed. The Chief irritably poked it. "Yes?"

"Can't say that, Chief. It's on the chart. The _other_ chart. For potentially offensive phrases."

The two cops frowned at the intercom. "She can hear us?" asked Hunter cautiously.

"Apparently." The Chief growled. "Anyway, we need to exchange one of our officers as a liaison slash observer. So I'm sending you to go and-" his hands made a sort of vague wave in the air- "liaise." He paused. "Slash observe."

"Surely there were volunteers, Chief!" said Hunter, somewhat desperately. He wasn't sure what a planet full of animals would be like, even if it was the ancient human homeworld, but he was fairly certain he wouldn't like it.

"Yes. But frankly, I didn't want volunteers." The Chief leaned back. "Look, Hunter, there's basically four types of officers in a police force. The active and smart, the active and stupid, the lazy and smart, and the lazy and stupid."

"I wouldn't call you-"

"As you value your career, do not finish that sentence. I'm not talking about me. In policing, you want to promote your smart and active officers because they get shit done. You put your stupid and lazy officers in positions where there's lots of supervision, so they get shit done without screwing it up too much. And you get rid of your stupid and active officers so they don't go and screw something up so badly it makes the front page."

Hunter frowned at him. "I'm not active."

"Oh, no, Hunter, God no. That leads me to the fourth category. The lazy and smart. These officers take careful handling. The nice thing is, they get shit done- when they have to- but tend to do the bare minimum to achieve their goals. And they tend to do it fairly creatively, because they are smart, and too lazy to put in the effort to do it the 'normal' way. Without getting into trouble, again, because they are smart."

He leaned forward. "You, Hunter, are one of the smartest cops I know. You're also one of the laziest. You're the only officer I can think of that caught a serial killer because he kept dumping bodies in your district just before you went off duty."

"That's not exactly-"

"Yes, it is. I talked to your sergeant, who thinks you're the bestest cop in the whole wide world, and still was very frank about that. So here's the deal. I send you to the animal planet-"

The intercom buzzed. "Yes?"

"On the _other_ chart, Chief."

"-To Terra, so you can go there, keep out of trouble, and then come back in a year with many interesting stories about how you did _absolutely nothing._ You're lazy and so probably won't get into trouble, and smart enough to find the path of least resistance out of it if you do. Also, you follow orders, even if you skirt the edge of insubordination as a hobby." The Chief leaned back. "In return, you can have your pick of assignment when you come back."

Hunter rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Any assignment, Chief?"

"Within your rank, which will be Sergeant-" the Chief held up a hand, quelling his objection- "if you want. I know you've avoided promotion for the past few years."

"All right." The cop nodded. "I'll do it."

"Great. Because I was ordering you to anyway. Keep that in mind if you rethink being thrown to the lions, tigers, and bears-"

"Oh, my," finished Hunter.

The intercom buzzed insistently. They both ignored it.

"Well, then, Chief, if that's all, I guess I need to review this-" Hunter sighed. "Paperwork."

"Dismissed, then." As Hunter turned to leave, the Chief added, "Oh, and one more thing."

"Yes, Chief?"

The Chief grinned widely. "There were volunteers. But don't call me Shirley."


	2. Chapter 2

Diversity Training

"So, let's do a bit of role-playing," said the perky blonde instructor, who had introduced herself as "Heather". "Who wants to go first?"

No one raised their hands, though most of the officers in the conference room eyed her suspiciously.

The training- titled "Getting Along with our Non-Human Terran Sapient Friends!" (and yes, it included the exclamation point)- had been going on for four hours, and consisted of slides which appeared to be an updated version of the same diversity program the department had been using since, at a guess, the first colony ship had landed on AlphaCen. Hunter suspected someone had just used a find and replace function to change "minority cultures" to "non-human Terran sapients" and called it a day. They probably got a commendation.

The conference room was hot, and pretty much airless since the air conditioner died about an hour into the class. Hunter's eyes were glazed and aching from staring at one garish slide adorned with clip art after another. His thoughts were fuzzy and indistinct, much like the intellectual content of those slides.

Perhaps this was why he raised his hand.

Before he had a chance to regret it, the instructor smiled at him. "Great! Can you stand up here by me?"

He stood up and walked past the assembled brass- he had been hastily slotted in with the higher-ups who got their training first in preparation for the Zootopian exchange officer- and peered down at Heather.

"Okay!" she said cheerily. "Now, we're going to role-play as if I'm a non-human Terran sapient."

"What sort?" asked Hunter warily.

"Oh, I don't know- let's say a rabbit. So pretend I'm a sapient rabbit."

Hunter considered that the second-weirdest statement he had ever heard in diversity training.

"So how will you greet me?" she asked, expectantly.

"Uh," Hunter pondered. "Holy shit, a talking rabbit!"

There were a few chuckles, but Heather's glare at the other assembled officers turned them into coughs. "I know you meant that as a joke, officer, but remember what slide 152 said: That's NOT funny."

"Okay, okay. Well, hello, ma'am. Pleased to meet you-"

"I'm going to stop you right there," interrupted Heather. "How do you know I'm female?"

There was a long pause. "I'm having touble answering that without violating sexual harassment regs," said Hunter.

"NOT funny, officer." Her perkiness had dissolved into disapproval, which happened distressingly often with diversity instructors. "I mean, how can you tell whether a rabbit is male or female from looking at him or her?"

"Um."

"What if the rabbit doesn't identify as male or female? We don't know for sure what social structures they evolved."

"Uh."

"That's why you need to be as inclusive as possible. Try this." She put on a big smile and raised a hand in greeting. "Hello, fellow sapient being!"

Hesitantly, Hunter raised a hand. "Hello-" he stopped. "Oh, gosh, cell phone just went off, might be the DA's office." He turned to walk out of the door.

"Officer-" began Heather.

"I'll be right back as soon as I've finished with this, sorry!"

He pushed open the door and walked into the hallway, letting out a deep breath. Cautiously, he looked both ways to ensure no one else was out there.

Only then did he start laughing.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The rest of the class was, as expected, incredibly boring, except for getting to see a bunch of lieutenants, captains, and even an assistant chief say "Hello, fellow sapient being!" with a big fake smile on their face.

Hunter did learn several interesting things. First, no one knew much about Terra or the "evolved" mammals. The accident or experiment or whatever that caused the mammals of the planet to become sapient had happened thousands of years ago, and for one reason or another- mostly a series of wars, though there had been one or two complete societal collapses for flavor- most of the records had been lost. Contact had only been reestablished a few years ago, mostly through radio communication as the Terran mammals were somewhat suspicious of the humans. Hunter supposed he couldn't blame them- he'd be suspicious of his species, too. In fact, he was- it was part of being a cop.

The other possibly useful item was a chart- which the Chief's secretary had alluded to as "the other chart" which listed a number of phrases that could be considered "potentially offensive".

"How did they figure this out?" asked a lieutenant. "I thought you said we don't know much about their social structures."

"After contact was made with the Terran non-humans, the Ministry of First Contact assembled a crack team of social scientists to study what we knew, and extrapolate from what we have learned from other non-human cultures. A few things we did learn directly from their equivalent of our Ministry of State," explained Heather.

Hunter had regarded what he was thinking of as "the other chart" carefully. "Blind as a bat" was listed. So was "sly as a fox" and "anything referencing a skunk's odor". It also listed "as the crow flies" however, which made Hunter wonder whether Heather had misspoken and meant to say "a team of social scientists on crack".

Still, it was useful to know what might get someone angry enough to kill you, so he carefully folded the chart and put it in his pocket.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

He hadn't told anyone at the station where he was going, only saying it was a "special assignment"- which was true- and that "I was told not to talk about it"- which was not. Pretty much everyone assumed that he had finally done something to cause him to be suspended, which was all right by him. It was far better than the ribbing he expected if he told them he was going to be policing with a bunch of talking animals.

Then, on his last day of roll call, the Chief showed up.

"I'll make this quick. This station has been selected to host our liaison/observer from Terra, specifically from Zootopia PD."

Everyone in roll call stared at him.

"He is a sapient timber wolf," continued the Chief. He paused. "A timber wolf," he repeated, almost to himself, in a grim tone. "At any rate, I expect everyone to show our visiting officer the respect that you would show any other officer- wait, scratch that. I expect everyone to show him the respect that he deserves- look, treat him respectfully, okay? I have the highest degree of confidence in your courtesy and professionalism." Most of the other officers glanced nervously at Hunter, who was lounging in the back. "Also, if any of you cause an interstellar incident by not treating him right, you'll spend the rest of your career in supply, fitting rookies for vests and gun belts. I hear they are very _enthusiastic._ Any questions?"

Wu, sitting in front, raised his hand. "Why us, Chief?"

"Well, since our liaison is coming from this station, it seemed appropriate." At the blank looks he received, the Chief sighed. "Specifically, Officer Hunter will be going to Zootopia for a year."

Hunter cringed.

Everyone turned to stare at him. "I thought you had been suspended!" gasped Arizondo, one of his former rookies.

"I thought he was fired!"

"Hey, Hunter, if you get a mouse as a partner, are you going to carry him around in your pocket?"

"Hey, Hunter, if you get an elephant as your partner, is he going to carry you around in _his_ pocket?"

Trying to look dignified and restrained, Hunter rose and pulled on his coat. "I guess I'll just, well, hit the street then."

"You know, Hunter, you could probably make a lot of money by selling your story to certain websites-"

The Chief frowned in confusion at that.

A bit more quickly than was strictly consistent with his dignity, Hunter walked out the door. But not before hearing a number of his fellow officers start shouting at his retreating back.

"Yiff! Yiff!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Later that day, the Chief buzzed his intercom. "June? Could you bring in the other chart please?"

With the chart laid out on his desk, the Chief looked it over. He found "yiff" on it, then indexed it with the voluminous explanatory notes. After reading it, he calmly buzzed his secretary again.

"Hey, June. Could you schedule Hunter's station for the next round of Diversity Training right away please?"

"Sure thing, Chief. The usual four hour course for officers?"

The Chief re-read the entry for "yiffing". "No. Make it the two day course." He smiled evilly.

"With extra slides."


	3. Chapter 3

Holy Shit, A Talking Kangaroo

"I hope you enjoyed your trip, Officer!" the steward smiled brightly at Hunter.

"Huh? Wazzat?" The cop awakened with a start. "Are we there?"

"Yep! Zootopia! Isn't it exciting? This is the first private trip to the planet!" The steward looked out the window. "Terra! Isn't it amazing?"

 _Too many exclamation marks for this early,_ thought Hunter muzzily. Then he had a thought. "What time is it? Here, I mean?"

"Just past two in the afternoon. Enjoy your stay!"

Hunter made his way to the exit, and was immediately accosted by-

"Ah, Officer Hunter," said the kangaroo cheerfully, though his smile slipped slightly at the cop's surname. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Holy shit, a talking kang- I mean, uh," Hunter tried to think through the sleep-fogged marsh that was his mind after waking up. "Greetings, fello-"

"It's Leapzig, James Leapzig. You can call me Jim." The kangaroo extended a hand- no, a paw. "I'm your liaison from the Department of State."

Blearily, Hunter shifted his bag to his other shoulder and shook the talking kangaroo's han- paw. "Nice to meet you," he murmured. And then looked around him.

The spaceport- brand-new, by the looks of it- was bustling with activity. The few humans there- almost all from the spaceplane that had just landed- looked to be mostly tourists, though a few wore business suits and walked with the purposeful air that said "time is money, and money talks, and I listen." It was a very distinctive walk.

That was not what caught his attention, however.

The spaceport was full of animals.

A trio of pigs dressed in steward uniforms were waving people to the lines leading to the security checkpoint. A tiger, a wolf, and a rhinoceros, all wearing polo shirts and khakis manned the actual stations, where pop-eyed tourists barely noticed them taking their baggage to be x-rayed. The help desk was manned- okay, that was probably on the other chart- _staffed_ with what appeared to be-

"Is that a sloth?"

The kangaroo looked where he was pointing. "Ah, yes. Sloths tend to like jobs where they can sit in one place all day. Very fond of the DMV."

"Ah," muttered Hunter. He had decided against alcohol on the flight, but now was wishing he had been drinking. Then, at least, he could have written this all of as a weird hangover. "Well, I guess I should go through customs-"

"Oh, no, that's quite all right. My colleague with your Ministry of First Contacts has arranged everything." Leapzig glanced around, his eyes alighting on a human wearing a snappy suit and red tie. "Ah, Mr. Horne! I'm glad to see you weren't too delayed."

Horne- Hunter presumed that was his name- nodded a greeting. "Not much, Jim. A bit of a traffic issue. It's amazing how you manage with all the different sizes of vehicles around here." He looked at Hunter.

The cop sized him up. Short, slightly balding, somewhat pudgy, with the peering expression of someone who needs glasses but hasn't gotten around to getting them yet. He checked, but there was no sign saying "Bureaucrat" around his neck, probably because he didn't need one for people to tell. "Mr. Horne, you said?" He extended a hand, which the other man took for a quick shake.

"Under-secretary to the Terran desk. Come on, we haven't much time. Your flight was delayed." He gestured towards the exit and bowed slightly to the kangaroo. "Lead the way, Jim."

The kangaroo nodded back and hopped- hopped!- towards an exit. The two humans followed.

"So I assume you received the MFC training course, but there are a few details that you should know-" began Horne.

"The what course?"

Horne frowned at him. "The training course put together by the MFC? The one we put all the diplomats assigned to Terra through?" His eyes took on a slightly panicked look at the incomprehension on Hunter's face. "The month-long course at Loronar Gardens?"

Hunter rubbed his cheek, feeling a slight five-o'clock shadow. "Loronar Gardens, eh? Nope. Sorry I missed it."

Horne stared at him.

"I took the FLPD Diversity Training course," he added helpfully.

The diplomat sighed and rubbed his forehead. "This is going to be a long year," he muttered.

As they walked out of the building, Hunter looked at the car waiting for them. It appeared to be driven by a panther, which tipped its sunglasses down slightly to look out at them.

"Yes," he agreed. "Yes, it is."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The rest of the day was a whirlwind. He met the mayor, a smooth-talking raccoon named Procyon. The first thought he had when he saw the unctuous grin on the mayor's face was _At least the politicians are the same_.

Okay, technically the first thought had been _Holy shit, a talking raccoon_. He also noted how the raccoon's smile slipped slightly when he was first introduced, which he considered thoughtfully.

Then they took him to his apartment, which was fairly modest, though ample for his needs. Hunter didn't imagine he would be entertaining anyone. The thought of befriending one of the talking animals that filled the city was- well, it just had never crossed his mind before, and now that thought was sort of sitting anxiously by the curb waiting for a "WALK" sign to light up that he suspected never really would.

The whole thing was just surreal.

And sort of smelly. He supposed he would get used to it- there were places in his old patrol area that smelled way worse- but the sheer number of animals around made the whole city smell sort of like a petting zoo.

The next morning, he stood in his boxers and undershirt, considering the uniform laid out for him. He had half expected a hole for a tail, but the uniform actually was well-fitted and had no signs of any oddities whatsoever, unless one counted the patch that said "Zootopia PD" on either shoulder.

There was also no gun belt. He had vaguely remembered that coming up in some briefing or another, but it still confused him. Sure, there didn't seem to be much of any domestic arms industry on the planet- and so far no human gun-runners had appeared to make up the shortfall- but didn't they arrest, well, lions and tigers and bears? Without firearms?

Oh, my.

He had even heard there was a rabbit on the force. What did he do, jump on crooks? Wiggle his tail until they melted from the sheer adorability?

With a sigh, he got dressed.

When he opened the door, he was confronted by a smiling kangaroo, which he had never realized was one of the last things he wanted when waking up in the morning. It just hadn't come up before.

"Ah, officer! Raring to go, are you?"

Hunter nodded warily. "For a given value of raring, I guess."

"I'm supposed to take you to meet the chief, and then you can start your first day on the job here at Zootopia!" The kangaroo actually gave a little hop at this last statement. "Very exciting! But first-"

The kangaroo pulled a sticker from his pocket and handed it to Hunter.

Confused, he took it. "What's this?"

"Look, there's never been a human on Terra- much less in Zootopia- in even historical memory. Sometimes some of the rarer species request these from us so mammals can recognize what they are, to avoid confusion." The kangaroo gestured at the sticker.

It said "Hello, I am a capybara." Except someone had crossed out "capybara" and written "Human" in neat marker.

Below that, in smaller letters, it said, "For questions, call the Department of State at 555-8217." Also written in marker.

Hunter looked at the kangaroo. "For questions?"

"Um, yes. In case someone is very confused." The kangaroo glanced around nervously. "Look, there's something you should understand."

"Just one thing?"

"Most of the mammals in Zootopia are going to be friendly enough. We've been pointing out how good our relations have been so far with the humans, and that we should let bygones be bygones-" here Hunter frowned, but the kangaroo didn't seem to notice- "and so I don't anticipate that most of the population will have any issues with you."

"Oh, good."

"But there's two other types you should be worried about." Leapzig took a deep breath. "First, there are a number of mammals who fear and distrust humans. We have, in some ways, a very long memory. I mean, just your name-"

"What, Zach?"

"I meant your surname."

He sighed. "Yeah, I know. But come on- you actually refer to 'predators' and even 'prey' without any problem. What's so wrong with Hunter?"

"It's just-" Leapzig made a frustrated gesture. "It's just, it's something that we tend to associate with humans. With, well, you-"

"Eating you?"

The kangaroo shuddered. "Something like that."

A diplomatic answer. The real answer, Hunter expected, was "Exactly like that."

"Okay, got it. So what else?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You said there were two types I should watch out for."

The kangaroo hesitated. "Well, it probably won't come up. Forget I mentioned it."

Hunter squinted at him. "Like hell. Own up."

"Oh, look at the time, we'll be late!" said Leapzig hurriedly. "Come on, let's go!"

"I'm not leaving until-"

Something moved behind him. Hunter turned and found himself staring at a broad expanse of navy blue cloth. He looked up.

The rhinoceros looked down at him. "Can I get your bag, Officer Hunter?" Misinterpreting Hunter's slack-jawed expression, he added, "I'm your driver."

 _Holy shit, a talking rhinoc- I have got to stop doing that._ "I got it," he managed to say. He turned and found the kangaroo was gone. "The hell was that about?" he wondered.

"Time to get going, officer," said the rhino. He effortlessly picked up Hunter's duty bag and walked out.

Hunter glared at him, then, with little other choice, decided to follow his driver.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

ZPD's headquarters was remarkably expansive- at least, Hunter thought so until he saw the giraffe ducking its head slightly to avoid a low-hanging light. The front desk was set in the center of the lobby, with a big cat of some kind- big in all senses of the word- leaning on it in deep conversation with a fox. Both were in uniform.

"Sure, why not?" he said to himself. He walked up.

The conversation stopped dead and both mammals looked at him with interest. "You must be the human," said the fox.

"Yeah, but only my momma calls me that." He extended a hand. "Zach." For now, he left off the last name.

A bit cautiously, the fox held out his paw, giving him a surprisingly firm handshake. Pawshake. Whatever.

"My name's Wilde."

"Oh, wow!" said the cat. A leopard? No, a cheetah. "You're taller than I expected."

Hunter was confused. "You had height expectations?"

"Well, it's just in the blogs the diplomats always seemed to be standing next to rhinos or elephants-"

"Oh. You mean humans in general." Hunter shrugged. "I'm about average."

"I'm Clawhauser," said the cheetah. "I run the front desk and dispatch."

"Ah," said Hunter, spotting the donuts. That made sense. Always a good idea to stay on dispatch's good side, and sweet snacks were a cheap and easy way to do that. "So I guess I'll be hearing a lot from you."

"You bet!" Clawhauser leaned forward. "So I guess you want to talk to the Chief?"

"Well, I guess I need to," Hunter more-or-less agreed. "Which way?"

After getting directions, he walked through the station.

Other than the looks he got from the various mammals walking around, it was- well, surprisingly, astonishingly- normal. Oh, there were weird things- such as a tiny door which, based on the signage, was a restroom for small rodents- but the waiting areas, the offices, and even the canteen he passed on the way to the Chief's office could all have come straight out of FLPD's headquarters.

Finally, after asking for more directions from a tiger that gave his uniform a very suspicious look, he found a door marked "Chief of Police". He knocked.

"Enter," said a distracted voice.

Hunter walked in and snapped to attention. Then he saw the Chief and snapped to _real_ attention.

The Chief of Police was supposed to be a bureaucrat. Generally one who had assumed a certain shape from polishing chair seats for fifteen to twenty years. He was not supposed to be able to glare at you like Bogo did. He was not supposed to be built like a football player's worst nightmare.

He was not supposed to _loom_.

The Chief stood up, looming even more. Desperately, Hunter tried to remember how to salute.

"Zach-" he stopped, cleared his throat. "Officer Zacharia Hunter, FLDP- that is, FLPD- liaison officer reports as ordered." He threw a salute that he hoped was "snappy". "Sir," he added.

Bogo sighed, then returned the salute. "For future reference, Hunter-" he paused. "Hunter," he said reflectively, then continued. "We generally don't salute around here except for ceremonial occasions. I suppose it's different with your department?"

"Yes, sir," lied Hunter.

"Have a seat." Hunter nearly fell into the seat.

The Chief sat down and leaned back, hands folded across his chest. Despite his appraising gaze, it put Hunter a bit more at ease. It was what he called the "I Don't Know What the Hell I'm Going to Do With You" pose. He had seen it from almost all- well, all- of his supervisors at one point or another.

"So your chief spoke very highly of you."

"Really?" said Hunter, surprised. "I mean, oh, good."

The buffalo eyed him. "Says you're smart, without- quite- saying you're too smart, says you have good instincts and know how to stay out of trouble. Always follow orders." He grunted. "Wish I could say the same about all of my officers."

 _Well, there's a lot less paperwork when you follow orders than the alternative._ He shrugged. "Just doing my bit, sir."

"What do you think humans can offer Zootopia PD, Hunter?"

 _That_ was unexpected. Hunter thought fast. "Well, sir, I think it's more about what we can offer each other. After all, you have built an entire city with all kinds of species living together. We can barely get along with other humans."

The chief snorted, which coming from a water buffalo was no minor thing. Hunter surreptitiously adjusted his hat which had blown slightly askew. "Not what I asked, Hunter."

"Well," Hunter tried to think of something. "We do share a similar basis in legal codes, though with obvious differences due to your unique circumstances." That was something he had read up on extensively- first, because knowing the rules was a good way to both get around them and to avoid excessive paperwork, and secondly because, well, he was kind of interested. "There have been a few refinements we've put into place, some of which might be useful to you."

"Such as?'

"Well, take the 'fruit of the poisonous tree'. An officer makes a mistake on a search warrant and finds evidence, which is then thrown out." Hunter shook his head. "A long time ago, we finally did the obvious thing- the evidence is kept, but the officer is punished appropriately."

Bogo cocked his head. "Would that not tend to make officers less likely to take action?"

"Well, it depends. Would you rather have a police force that tramples on civil rights but has the cases thrown out because they rarely suffer consequences, or a police force that is very concerned about getting it right not because of an abstract ideal of justice, but because they could face very real consequences? And, society isn't punished because an officer screwed up."

"Hmm." Bogo shrugged. "Worth consideration. But with a bit more focus on what I can actually accomplish- as opposed to something that would take both the legislature and the high courts to do- there is something I find interesting about your department."

"Oh?"

"The field training program." He gestured to a document on his desk. "We haven't really had one- we're a pretty small department, really. Your chief says you've been a field trainer for fifteen years."

Hunter swore inwardly. _That sneaky bastard._ "Well, yeah, I was sort of ordered to-"

"Says you were pretty good, too." Bogo picked up the document idly. "Says you always went 'above and beyond' to find good training opportunities for your trainees."

"Oh, yes, there's nothing I like more than spending the shift watching a rookie like a hawk to make sure they don't get themselves or me killed or indicted," muttered Hunter sourly.

The water buffalo cocked an eyebrow at him, which Hunter didn't know was possible. He mentally added it to the list of Things Water Buffaloes Can Do, next to Loom.

Bogo considered him, then smiled. Hunter added that to the list as well. "Well, I think I have just the partner for you."

Another one for the list. Make Ominous Statements.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Interlude: Back at First Landing, AlphaCen

Officer Ruth Barker stood to attention in front of the chief of FLPD. "Officer Barker reports as ordered!" she announced.

The human behind the desk stared at her. "So you're a timber wolf," he said, resignedly. There was a pause. "A _timber_ wolf," he repeated.

Barker hesitated, but forged ahead. "Yes, sir!" When there was no response, she decided to try again. "Reporting as ordered."

The chief let out a sigh. "Well, let's get you to your station."

He got up and walked out, Barker following, her ears perked up but her stance slightly uncertain.

It didn't help when she heard him sigh again. "A timber _wolf._ "

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Chief of Police, FLPD

From: Officer Z. Hunter

Subject: 1st Report

Dear Chief,

I hope this finds you well. I have arrived safely and the weather is great, assuming I don't go to one of the colder, hotter, or wetter habitats in the city. I was met at the spaceport by a talking kangaroo, driven by a talking rhino, and met the ZPD chief, a talking water buffalo. I think you and he would get along well.

I have not yet caused an interstellar incident, though I am about to go to my first roll call, so there's still plenty of time.

So far, no one has tried to kill me.

Love,

Officer Hunter

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Re: 1st Report

Hunter,

Please conform your reports to approved department formatting.

Chief of Police, FLPD

To: Chief of Police, FLPD

From: Officer Z. Hunter

Subject: Re: re: 1st Report

Dear Chief,

Whoops, sorry about that. Can't think of why I did such a silly thing. After all, it's not like there's anything else going on in my life that would interfere with my ability and desire to correctly format my reports to your office. By the way, my neighbors at my apartment are a panda and a sheep, respectively.

Don't worry, though, I don't blame you.

XOXOXOXO

Officer Hunter


	4. Chapter 4

Roll Call

Officer Judy Hopps bounced into roll call, still on a high from her first couple of patrols with Nick. She glanced around and spotted him, looking at her with an amused expression. _So emotional_ , he mouthed at her. She just grinned at him and went to her seat.

Which was being sat in, by a- a- what kind of mammal was that?

She stood behind the mammal and cleared her throat. He turned.

Hairless. She hadn't realized it before- except for his head, which had a somewhat mussed topping of black hair. Was he sick or something?

The mammal looked around, confused, and Judy sighed inwardly. "Down here," she said, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

With a start, the mammal looked down. "You're in my seat," she said.

He muttered something under his breath, something that sounded almost like"Holy talking bunny"- she must have misheard- and then stood up. "Sorry, I guess that's why the books were piled here?" He gestured to the stacks of penal code books that she had used as an ad hoc booster chair.

She started tapping her foot impatiently. "What sort of mammal are you, anyway?"

He rolled his eyes and gestured to a sticker on the front of his uniform. She peered at it, then looked at him. "You're a capybara?"

Surprised, he looked down. "What? Oh, no- the marker smeared-"

Then it clicked. "Wait, you're the human!" She glanced at his name tag- Hunter- and her eyes narrowed, but she shook the thought off. "Officer Hunter! From Alpha Centauri First Landing!"

The human- Hunter- nodded as he replaced the books. "That's me. You are?" He reached down a hand, but she was already in mid-hop to the top of the stacked books.

"Officer Judy Hopps!" she said proudly. "I read the briefing material on you. You really caught a serial killer?"

"Yeah, he was causing me way too much overtime."

She laughed at his joke. "It's an honor to meet you, Officer Hunter. You must be one of the best cops in the FLPD to be sent here."

"Well, the chief said I had certain- qualities-"

Before he could finish, the room went quiet as Chief Bogo walked in. He adjusted his glasses and glanced around the room.

"As you can see, we have a new mammal with us. I expect everyone to show him courtesy and respect. This is Officer Hunter, on secondment from FLPD on the human homeworld of Alpha Centauri."

With a studiously casual air, Hunter stood up. "Howdy."

Everyone waited.

He sat down.

After a moment, someone in the back said, "Hunter?"

"That's not going to work."

"We'll have to rename him," said another voice.

Judy glanced at the human worriedly. He was very still, his face inexpressive.

"How about 'Spot'?" a canine voice put in snidely.

Judy cleared her throat- she was sure this was inappropriate behavior.

Before she could say anything, Hunter twisted around to face the room. "We could use my mother's maiden name."

"Which is?" called a lion.

Hunter smiled at him, showing his teeth. "Skinner."

Even the chief stared at him.

Then, everyone started laughing. "Okay, I guess he'll do for now," said the lion officer smugly.

Judy settled back on her seat, letting out a held breath.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Assignments."

She glanced at Nick, who gave her a quick smile and thumbs-up.

"Wolferd and Delgato, you have Barksdale Park."

The list went on, until she heard- "Hopps and Hunter, you've got parking detail."

"What?" She and the human said simultaneously. They both looked at one another.

"Parking detail?" she demanded.

"Hunter is on a sort of probation right now. Until the city council approves it, he doesn't have any arrest powers, other than writing parking tickets," said the chief stolidly. "So any arrests will be carried out by Officer Hopps, Hunter."

Hunter stared at him. "Surely you must be joking."

Bogo pointed a finger at him. "You didn't think we'd just let you saunter out there and start arresting mammals without some on-the-job training? I know you took some classes on our system but there's no replacement for actual experience. You go out there and observe. Hopps is an-" he paused. "An _enthusiastic_ officer, and she'll explain some things to you."

Hunter eyed the chief, then turned his gaze to Judy. She grinned, nervously.

"Oh, and Hunter?"

"Yes, sir?" he gritted out between clenched teeth.

"It's Chief Bogo, not Shirley."

Hopps had to tug at the human's shirt sleeve repeatedly before he stopped staring suspiciously at the chief and would leave.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Interlude: First Landing, AlphaCen

"So then I thought, but what if it is a burglar? I mean, it's usually just the raccoon in the attic- why did we import those from Terra on the colony ships, anyway? I tell you, officer, if I had been in charge-"

Wu smiled and nodded at the appropriate places, his rhythm only interrupted by the approach of his new partner. Even that wouldn't have stopped him- he had dealt with Mrs. Reynolds many, many times before- except that, in an event he would carefully mark on his calendar and post on the substation's notice board, she was abruptly left speechless.

Barker looked at her quizzically. Mrs. Reynolds stared.

For a long minute, there was silence.

Then:

"What an adorable puppy! How did you teach it to stand on two legs like that? When did you become a K-9, Officer Wu, though you know, I always did tell my oldest that you deserved promotion, you're so kind and thoughtful- oh! Does the puppy want a biscuit?"

Wu was frantically waving his hands. "No, no, Mrs. Reynolds-" he stopped as he became aware of a faint growl from next to him.

Mrs. Reynolds, taking his sudden silence as assent, disappeared into the house.

Wu sheepishly looked at Barker. "Sorry about that, I was about to explain-" he paused as he met his partner's gaze. "Wait, were you growling at her or me?"

Barker looked at him, expressionless. "Don't get between me and a free biscuit."

Wu sighed. He could never tell if she was joking or not.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

From: Officer Z. Hunter

To: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Report 2: The Return

Howdy Chief!

I'm writing this very quickly before I start my first day. My new partner is a talking bunny rabbit. She is adorable. I am not certain this is a particularly useful trait for a police officer to have.

You've been talking to the ZPD chief a lot, haven't you?

Yours truly,

Hunter


	5. Chapter 5

The Rules

It was a bright, cheery day in Zootopia, and though parking detail was- for many reasons- not Hopps's favorite duty, Judy was actually somewhat excited to be out there. The sun shone down on a busy street, the temperature was just about perfect, and even the usual snappish responses to getting a parking ticket were muted by both her celebrity and the pleasant day. They even had a real car to drive around in, as a concession to the human's larger size.

Plus, she felt it was something of an honor to be partnered with the human officer. After all, the chief probably wanted to put the city's best paw forward with this sort of thing. Judy had done very well in her first year, but she'd never had any sort of mentor. And she could learn so much from him-

If he would wake up.

When they got to the car, he had looked her up and down- okay, more like down and then further down- and asked, "So long have you been on?"

"Almost a year!" she had said proudly.

"Ah." That was the last thing he said to her this morning.

A worried zebra craned his head to look into the car. "Is your partner okay?" she asked. She paused, spotting the sticker. "Uh, is that really what a capybara looks like?"

"Perfectly fine, ma'am, he's just, er-" she looked at Hunter, who was slouched over, head leaning to one side, and _snoring._ "Hibernating," she finished lamely.

"In late spring?"

"It's when capybaras hibernate," she said quickly. "If you'll excuse me, ma'am-" and drove off as the bemused zebra backed away.

She threw an annoyed glance at her "partner" again, and sighed. "It would be too much to ask for at least a little help, I guess."

"I'm an observer," said the human without opening his eyes. "I'm observing."

Judy rolled her eyes. "You've been asleep the entire morning."

"Space-lag. And not the entire morning."

"Sure."

He finally opened his eyes and stretched. "You've written forty-seven tickets since we started. You've given directions to five different-" he stopped for a moment, thinking- "mammals, including a rabbit, a coyote, and some sort of weasel. Nine peop- mammals have told you they pay your salary, and three have asked you snidely if you have a quota." He shrugged. "Which is a little less than average for me."

The rabbit's jaw dropped. "You were _snoring_!" she said accusingly.

"You work this job for twenty-something years, you learn to sleep lightly enough to hear your numbers on the radio even conked out." Hunter yawned.

This was not what she had in mind. "Look, I thought maybe you could give me some tips on policing, that sort of thing- I mean, you have so much experience!"

The older cop gave her a quizzical look. "With humans, sure. Not with- with other mammals."

"Are we so different?"

He paused. "Okay, look, Hopps, you seem like a nice rookie, so I'll lay it out for you. I was expecting to get placed with some grizzled old cop who was looking forward to retirement, not some cute little bunny rabbit rookie- what'd I say?"

She thought she had hidden her reaction better. "Oh, it's just that- look, a bunny can call another bunny 'cute' but when someone else does-"

"Oh." He scratched his head and then dug into his vest pocket until he found a folded sheet of paper. He unfolded it and scanned it carefully.

Curious, Judy leaned over. It was a sort of basic chart, divided into cells, with the words "Potentially Offensive Words and Phrases" titling it. Hunter pulled out a pen and inked in "cute" in the cell for "sapient rabbits". Another word caught her eye, probably because it was underlined, in red, and under the "All Sapient Mammals" category. "Hey, what does 'yiffing' mean?"

The pen stopped in mid-word. With exaggerated casualness, Hunter finished writing his note and replaced the pen in his pocket. Without looking at her he said, "We are literally never having that conversation."

"Wha-"

"Just drive, rookie."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Oh, look at that!"

Hunter immediately became alert, scanning the street. "What, what have you got?"

They had been driving in silence for the past minute or two, heading to another major parking area in the city center.

"I can't believe it! Right in front of us!"

"Hopps!"

She pointed. "There- that red car."

Hunter squinted at it. "Bad tail-light?"

"He just double-parked!"

"What."

"Oh, he did not just do that," muttered Judy. She whipped the patrol car around, causing Hunter to clutch at the door handle, and squealed in behind the red car. The occupant, a lone cheetah, had just gotten out and looked up in surprise. Judy leaped out of the car and stalked towards him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter stared at the cheetah.

He kept telling himself that these were animals, the cues would be all wrong, all different- but-

The cheetah saw Hopps and immediately glanced both ways. His hands- paws- moved towards his waistband. When he turned back to look at the approaching rabbit officer, he licked his lips and twisted so his body was slightly angled towards Hopps.

Hunter got out of the car, his instincts warring with his reason. "Hopps!" he called.

She didn't seem to hear him. "Do you have ID?" she demanded of the cheetah, which loomed over her.

The cheetah looked around again, and there was the slightest shifting of weight.

"Hopps!" shouted Hunter, "he's about to-"

The cheetah turned into an orange blur, racing away from the two police officers. Without hesitation, Hopps followed, moving with remarkable speed.

Hunter gaped in astonishment. First, at how _fast_ the animals moved- it was unreal. Second, because a bunny was chasing a freaking cheetah. I mean, how often do you see that?

Hopps's voice came over the radio. "Unit Twenty-Seven Charlie, I've got one running, north along Briarwood Boulevard-" she was panting, and there were odd breaks in the transmission- "-cheetah, red shirt, red pants-"

Okay.

Running was out. He would have had a hard time chasing younger human crooks these days, much less a goddamn cheetah. So-

He ran the cheetah's plate, cocked his eye at the address. Then a quick check of the GPS system-

Hunter moved to the driver's seat and put the car in gear.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy had never chased a cheetah before. Weaselton had given her one of the longest and craziest chases, but this was probably the hardest.

But she was keeping up, darn it!

The cheetah was just straight out faster on a straight-away, but for whatever reason he kept hitting corners, and there Judy's smaller size and maneuverability paid off. Everytime their path twisted and turned, she gained a bit. Every time it stayed straight, he gained a bit.

She tried to keep track of their progress and alert other officers over the air, but it wasn't long before she was thoroughly lost.

As they ran, the cheetah kept glancing back at her, and part of her brain noticed how one paw kept near his front waistband, instead of moving with his other paw as most mammals do when they are running. It was, in fact, slowing the cheetah down a bit.

Judy was a good cop, well on the way to being a great one. But she didn't have the experience that would have told Bogo, or Wolferd, or Hunter, that something wasn't right here. That if he was so concerned with whatever was in his waistband that he was willing to sacrifice speed to keep it, maybe she should be too.

The cheetah hit a fence, scrabbled over it. Judy followed.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter found a spot, slammed on the brakes. He jumped out of the car and instinctively checked for his gun. A grimace came over his face as all his hand felt was the nightstick the ZPD had, reluctantly, allowed him to carry. He wasn't a big fan of nightsticks- it sacrificed manipulative ability- such as used in wrestling- for raw power, which was only occasionally useful in his experience.

He glanced at the map on the patrol car's computer again, and verified it against the street addresses he could see. The neighborhood looked- it looked-

It looked like he would have expected, which was completely unexpected.

Bad neighborhoods have a certain feel to them. Some of it is fairly obvious- neglected yards, abandoned buildings, random people hanging out on street corners in the middle of the day- and some of it was more subtle. A sense of fear, of tension, of apathy.

It looked like a bad neighborhood. It looked like a bad _human_ neighborhood.

Hunter trotted down the cracked sidewalk, neatly avoiding a pack of wolves who glanced at his uniform and didn't even to seem to notice his species before averting their gaze. He scanned house numbers. "Bingo," he muttered.

He slipped over the waist-high chain-link fence into the house's backyard, and then behind a nearby shed.

And he waited.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The cheetah raced across an abandoned lot, leapt onto a dumpster and then over yet another fence. Judy groaned inwardly- she was a small mammal, no shame in that, and scaling fences was a bit harder for her than for the rangy cheetah she had chased for what seemed like hours.

Fortunately, the plastic lid of the dumpster was somewhat springy and gave her enough lift to hop right over the fence.

Rolling to her feet- she hadn't quite expected _that_ much lift- Judy scanned for her quarry, and spotted him as he ducked into an alley. She raced after him, and-

Nothing.

She stopped, panting, as she looked down the alley, which was just a sidewalk between the backyards of two sets of houses that backed up to one another. Which one-?

Her radio crackled. "Twenty Seven Charlie to partner. You keep up?" Hunter's voice.

Judy keyed her mike. "Keep up? I didn't see you chasing, Hunter," she wheezed, with just the faintest bit of asperity.

"I didn't chase, rookie, I caught. Hey, I think I hear your radio."

Her ears perked up and, sure enough, she caught the sound of a beep from a nearby yard. She rushed to the yard.

Hunter was standing there, smugly holding the cheetah by the scruff of its neck. The cheetah saw her.

"Hey, officer, I didn't do nothing, tell this capybara to let go of me," he whined.

Judy walked up, confused. "You really need to fix that sticker," she told Hunter. "How did you- you weren't even chasing!"

"Rule number seven, rookie. Run smarter, not harder," Hunter told her, grinning.

"What rules-"

"Hey! You ain't no capybara!" said the cheetah. "You're one of those humans!" It struggled a bit in his grasp. "You ain't got no jurisdiction here! I'm gonna have your badge!"

Hunter tightened his grip and glared at the cheetah. "I have the authority to arrest to write parking citations," he said. "So, you're right, I'm not going to arrest you." He nodded to Hopps.

"She's going to. I was just holding you until I could write my ticket."

The cheetah opened his mouth, looked at Judy- who had an open set of cat-cuffs and a meaningful look on her face- and closed it.

As Judy approached, Hunter added, "So how do you like them apples, pussycat?"

Judy froze. "Hunter-"

At the same time the cheetah whipped around to look at the human. His lips pulled back in a snarl. "What did you call me?" he snapped.

Hunter's face slowly changed, from confidence to whatever expression a man wears when he realizes he's holding an enraged 80-pound cat by the scruff of his neck. It turns out it's kind of hard to describe.

Then the fight was on.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So evading arrest, two counts of assault on a police officer, and-" Judy held up a ticket book. "Double-parking."

The cheetah- looking somewhat worse for the wear- glared at her. "You better talk to him," he warned. "He can't say things like that to us."

The rabbit ignored him and walked back to the ambulance, where her partner was sitting and being treated by a opossum and a hare. "How you feeling, partner?" she asked jovially.

Hunter looked up from writing on that strange chart of his. She suppressed a giggle as she saw he had written "Pussycat" under "Big Cats". And underlined it. And circled it. "Oh, not too bad. I think I mostly rolled with that first swipe." The scratches on his cheek were livid and red, but not too deep. He smiled at her. "Fortunately a little gray furball came out of nowhere and clocked that cheetah, or it might have been a lot worse."

He held out his paw- no, Judy reminded herself, humans called them hands. "Not bad, rookie," he said.

She took it, smiling. "Not bad, _partner_.."

Then she paused. "How did you catch him, anyway?"

"Oh, simple enough. I ran his plate and realized it was registered to a house not far away. Then I drove there and hid in the backyard." He nodded thanks to the paramedics and started walking back to the police car. Judy hopped to follow him.

She blinked. "He ran straight home? Even though we knew where the car was registered to?"

Hunter shrugged. "If crooks were smart, they wouldn't be crooks. Rule Sixteen."

She cocked her head to one side. "You gonna tell me all these rules you're talking about?"

"In due course, rookie." He slid into the passenger seat. "Well, I might just catch a little nap-" he said, grinning at her.

Judy gave him a level look. "I'll hit every pothole on the way back to the station. Why don't you get started on the report?"

"Rookie, rookie, rookie- I'm older and wiser, which means-"

"You have a few things to learn, too," she interrupted in a sweet tone. She paused. " _Pussycat."_

Hunter's grin widened. "Well, maybe I do. You gonna teach me, then?"

"Yep!" she gunned the engine as they accelerated, prompting a yowl from the cheetah in the back seat. "Starting with our report format."

He chuckled, and turned the computer to face him. "Sounds like you already know Rule four."

"Rule four?" she asked.

"If you're a cop and not learning, you're either dead or will be."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When they walked into the station, suspect in tow, Clawhauser grinned widely. "Hopps! Heard you chased down a cheetah!"

"Well, Hunter caught him," she said cheerfully. They had called ahead and a jailer was waiting to take the cuffed crook. "Held him by the scruff of his neck."

Clawhauser turned to look at Hunter as he trudged in, and gasped. "What happened to you?"

Judy made sure the suspect, who was being led away, was safely out of earshot. "He called the suspect a-" she lowered her voice. " _pussycat."_

Clawhauser's normally open face turned to a scowl as he rounded on Hunter, who took a step back. "Hey!" he said, pointing a claw at the human. "That is _our_ word!"

A couple of other big cat officers who had wandered up growled their agreement. Literally.

Hunter held up his hands placatingly. "Sorry, sorry, I didn't know. No offense meant." He winced again as he tried to smile. "I'll just, uh, you know, get some iodine or something for these scratches. Don't want to get Cat Scratch Fever, right?"

Clawhauser glared at him, his eyes widening further. " _Cat Scratch Fever_? How dare you!"

The human cop stumbled backwards, and he mumbled something before practically fleeing towards the restrooms.

Judy frowned. "What's wrong with saying Cat Scratch Fever?" she asked in a whisper.

Clawhauser leaned closer. "Nothing," he replied with a wink.

"Wow, the human got scratched, huh? Make sure he puts iodine on it every day," said Delgato, who had just come up to desk. "Cat Scratch Fever is no joke."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Interlude: First Landing, AlphaCen

"He's around here somewhere," panted Wu. "We've set a perimeter, he's got to be inside it. If we can put the dog down on 34th-"

"Why bother?" said an approaching officer, "Don't you already have a K-9 that can act as her own handler?"

The rest of the officers stared at him, Wu turning pale.

"That's on the 'other chart', Officer Benning," said a voice sweetly behind him.

Benning blanched before plastering a panicked grin on his face and turning to face the wolf. "Sorry, Barker, I didn't mean-"

"I am so sick of this," she said in annoyance. "Look, yes, I'm a timber wolf. And you use non-sapient dogs as tracking animals. It's very funny, ve-er-y funny indeed. Maybe you can come up with a new joke, though?"

Benning swallowed, especially when she smiled sweetly at him with those really- big- teeth. "Sorry."

There was a long silence.

Barker suddenly realized everyone was staring at her. Some worriedly, but all expectantly.

"Oh, for-" she snapped. "He's over there, behind that trailer, between the rose bushes." She walked off as several officers rushed to catch the suspect she had smelled. "Honestly, I'm more than a nose."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Chief of Police, FLPD

From: Officer Z. Hunter

Subject: Report 2: The Return: Addendum

So my partner turned okay, even if she is a wet-behind-the-ears rookie (and with rabbits, that's a lot of ear to be wet behind). She chased down a cheetah and I learned a valuable lesson. See attachment for additions to the "other chart". Note particularly the one I highlighted and underlined.

Completely unrelated, a cheetah tried to kill me. Except for his species, it almost made me feel at home.

Quote of the Day: Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it... and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie *strewn* about its lair! So! Brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth... - Monty Python, Quest for the Holy Grail

Your Friend,

Z. Hunter (You can call me Zach)

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

To: Officer Z. Hunter

Subject: Re: Report 2: The Return: Addendum

Hunter,

I was very disappointed to hear you were nearly killed by a cheetah. I had thought better of them, frankly.

Why did you send me an attachment of a video showing me dancing with a gazelle to some pop song?

Chief of Police, FLPD


	6. Chapter 6

Capital Public Intoxication

That afternoon, Nick and Judy went out for coffee after their shift.

"So," he said. "Chased down a cheetah?"

"Not really," the rabbit said, rolling her eyes. "I mean, I stayed with him for awhile, but Hunter actually caught him."

"Hunter," said Nick pensively. Judy narrowed her eyes at him.

"Nick, I know what you're thinking, and stop it. It's just-"

"It's what, Carrots?" he said, neutrally.

"Silly. Look, that all happened a long time ago."

"Yeah, it's weird how people remember things like one species hunting others _for sport_." Nick snorted. "How _unsophisticated_ of us."

Judy shook her head. "He's not like that."

"Oh, yeah? He thinks of us as just other people then?" The fox shook his head. "I've seen how he acts. We're freaks to him."

"Oh, and you don't think of him differently just because of what species he is?" Judy sipped her coffee with both hands, her eyes still on her friend.

Silence.

"That's different."

"How?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next day was another surprise.

"Hunter," said the chief in roll call. "You're riding with Wilde today."

Hunter's eyebrows went up, as did the fox nearby who had been talking to Judy. "Sir?"

"I'm moving you around a bit, see who you get along with best," said the chief. "Though you and Hopps did adequately yesterday."

"Gosh, adequately?" said Hunter, in a falsetto. "Chief, I'm touched!"

"Very funny-"

"Long have I sought to reach the heights of adequacy," intoned Hunter, raising his eyes to the ceiling. "To climb those rarefied reaches where-"

"Shut it, Hunter," snapped Bogo over the chuckles in the room. "You're not as funny as you think you are."

"Few people are, chief. But would you say I'm adequately funny, or-"

"Moving on." Bogo said, glaring at his newest officer. "Hopps, it's you and Delgato today. He is moderately less likely to use species slurs against suspects, at least not out of ignorance-"

Hunter turned to Wilde, who was giving him an appraising look.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Nick saw a tall, slightly out of shape- there was the definite beginning of a gut visible- human with worn features and slightly greying black hair. The scratch marks from the previous night stood out even against his dark skin, and there was a sticker on his vest which read, in what appeared to be new marker- "Hello, I am a Cop" and below that with obvious smear marks where something else appeared to have been written "And That's All You Need to Know".

The fox extended his paw. "You took my partner."

Hunter smiled as he shook the fox's paw with his. "Sorry about that. No doubt they'll stick me somewhere safe and boring once I screw up enough."

"As long as you don't screw up too much," said Nick.

"Yeah, that's the trick, isn't it? Screw up just enough that you don't get volunteered for anything-" the human's face twisted in annoyance- "but not enough that you actually get fired. Rule Eight."

Nick blinked. "Rule Eight?"

"Never break regs by accident, only on purpose." Hunter shrugged. "How long you been on?"

"Just started."

"Another rookie, eh?" Now it was Nick's turn to be appraised. "I can't tell you guys' ages that well, but-"

"I did other things before I joined up," said Nick, suddenly uncomfortable. He decided to change the subject. "So I hear you caught a serial killer."

The older cop dropped his head. "Shit, you read the briefing too?" He shook his head. "I am not sure at all I like the idea of having briefings about me. Sounds, I dunno, _official."_

"No, heard it from Hopps." The fox grinned at him. "You know what she did her first year on the job, don't you?"

Hunter raised an eyebrow. "No, what?"

So Nick told him.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They had made it to their patrol car by the time Nick had finished the story.

Hunter was silent for a moment as he settled into the passenger seat. So far, no one had said anything about his short drive yesterday, but no sense in pushing his luck- he technically wasn't supposed to be driving at all, though the cars were remarkably similar to the ones he was used to.

"And that _worked?"_

Nick sat down, started the car. "What?" he asked.

"She actually admitted to the crimes as part of a villainous monologue? Tell me they don't teach that as an interrogation technique in your Academy."

"Well, no," Nick admitted. "But she did think we were going to die-"

"Yeah, because she could have freaking killed you at literally any time!" Hunter shook his head. "What if her goons had real guns?"

"No guns on Terra."

"Okay, then crossbows, or maybe they had thrown rocks at you, or just swarmed you and knifed you!" Hunter sighed. "Look, I'm not second-guessing things here. You guys did good, overall. Just remember that real life doesn't generally work like that. A real bad guy doesn't tell you his master plan before he kills you. He just _kills you_."

"Hey, you don't have to tell me that," snapped Nick defensively. "I've been around the block a few times, I know how things work-"

"Oh, yeah? Like what can happen when your partner gets mixed up with an underworld boss? Uses him to threaten a suspect?"

That stopped Nick cold. He _had_ been trying to think of a way to tell Judy that her "friendship" with Mr. Big was a bad idea. "Look-"

"Rule Fifteen, rookie," said Hunter, fixing him with his eye. "We're the good guys. Act. Like. It." His finger stabbed towards the fox with the last three words. Nick felt a flush of anger.

"Rule One in my car," snarled Nick. "Shut up and let me drive."

Several officers looked up in surprise as the patrol car shot out of the lot, tires squealing.

"I thought Nick was supposed to be the _good_ driver," said one.

"Maybe he let the human drive."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next day, everyone was quiet during roll call. Instead of the somewhat raucous ribbing and joking, there was only the occasional quiet murmur as everyone waited for Chief Bogo to arrive.

Judy's ears were flat against her back, as she glanced between Nick and Hunter, who were studiously ignoring one another. She tapped one foot anxiously.

She wasn't sure exactly what had happened, but both mammals had been eerily polite to one another ever since they rode patrol yesterday. At least, they were on the very few occasions they were forced to acknowledge one another's existence.

Nick caught her eyeing him and gave what he probably intended to be a reassuring smile, though the way his ears laid back made it clear he was not happy.

The human was more inscrutable. Judy was generally quick to make friends, and the chase and its aftermath was enough that she had felt some sort of friendship with the strange mammal, or at least cameraderie. Only now, he ignored her glances entirely.

She settled mournfully into her seat. She was a naturally nice person, who tried and generally succeeded in getting along with nearly everyone. She had always wanted- in fact, expected- her friends to get along. Generally, though, she had learned the hard way not to try to get in the middle of an apparent feud like this.

On the other paw, she also wasn't going to give up just yet. Nick and Hunter seemed to have a lot in common- a similar sense of humor, that wry, cynical outlook on the world- and it made no sense that they would be at odds.

She just wished she knew what exactly had happened yesterday.

The chief walked in and went straight to handing out assignments. She had expected to be paired with Wilde, or perhaps with Hunter again. Instead-

"Wilde and Hunter, you're assigned to Little Barking. Hornby, I need you to-"

"What?" said Hunter and Wilde, simultaneously processing the words. They both glared at one another before turning back to the chief.

"You can't-"

"I am _not-"_

Bogo let out a snort and looked up at the two officers.

Both fell silent.

"See me in my office," he said mildly. "To continue-"

The chief left after finishing roll call. He glanced at Nick and Hunter, who both sighed identically and trudged out the door. Nick's ears were flat against his head, and while the human apparently didn't move his ears- that was still weird to Judy- she was struck by the similarities in their postures as they resignedly followed the chief out.

She pulled on her ears in frustration as she watched them go.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You two have a problem."

Both the fox and the human were standing at attention, Nick looking much sharper as he was fresh out of the Academy. "It's not my problem-" they both said simultaneously. They both stared at one another.

Bogo sat heavily behind his desk. "You know what, I don't care whose problem it is. Because I'm the chief of police, and guess whose problem that makes it?"

Both the fox and human pointed at one another. "His!"

Bogo considered them both for a moment. "Both of you are well over thirty years of age," he said calmly. "And so I don't think I need to point out how childish that was."

Hunter studiously ignored Wilde. "Look, sir, sometimes personalities just don't mesh, and that's fine. Just put me with someone else, okay? I worked all right with Hopps yesterday."

Bogo heard, just barely, a slight growl from Wilde. Hunter must have heard it too, because he turned to glare at the fox. The fox glared back, lips pulling back slightly to show very white, very sharp teeth.

The chief shook his head. "Nope. You-" he pointed to Wilde- "are going to learn to get along with humans. We'll probably have tourists in a few years, so this will be a good opportunity for you. And for me- I might learn something about you. And you-" he pointed to Hunter- "are going to learn to get along with foxes." He sat back.

"What if I can't?" asked Hunter challengingly.

"Then I'll have learned something about humans, won't I?"

The human stared at him. Then slowly, he looked at the fox next to him. "What do you say, Officer Wilde?"

Wilde considered him for a long minute. "Judy likes you," he said slowly.

Hunter blinked. "Yeah? And?"

"That's important. She's a good mammal- and a good cop."

Slowly, Hunter nodded. "Yeah, I think she is."

The fox put out a paw. "All right, I'm willing to give it another try."

The human took it. "Me, too."

"Gosh, isn't that sweet. Now get the hell out of my office and go do some police work," snarled Bogo. Startled, both officers snapped back to attention and fled out of the room. He picked up the first of many documents from his in-box. "I am really getting too old for this shit."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So what am I going to jail for?" asked the armadillo in the back seat. Again.

"Public intoxication," called back Hunter. He looked back at his partner. "So, really, what did you do before you became a cop."

"I sold propane and propane accessories," answered Wilde smoothly. "What about you?"

Hunter eyed him suspiciously, but shrugged. "I was a plumber."

"A plumber? Heck of a career change."

The older cop shrugged. "Kinda the same job when you think about it."

"Wait, why am I going to jail?" shouted the armadillo.

"Public intoxication," replied Wilde. "For the fifth time." He glanced at his partner. "So why become a cop?"

"Because it beat digging ditches and cleaning out septic tanks for a living."

Wilde considered this as he made the turn into the station sally-port. "That's- remarkably honest."

"What, did you expect me to say I wanted to help people?" replied Hunter as he undid his seat belt.

As he opened the door, the armadillo looked at him with bleary eyes. "I just have one question."

Both cops rolled their eyes. "Shoot," said Hunter.

"What am I going to jail for?"

The two officers exchanged looks.

"Capital murder," replied Hunter.

The armadillo blinked. "What? What?" he asked in a panicky voice.

Hunter leaned forward. "Bet you'll remember that one, huh?" He helped the confused mammal out of the car and started guiding him toward the jail. "What about you?"

Wilde took off his aviator shades as they walked through the sally port door. "What about me?"

"Why'd you decide to become a cop?"

Before he could answer, they spotted a familiar long-eared figure at the jail desk, completing some paperwork. A disgruntled antelope stared at them from the holding area.

Hopps looked up and smiled brightly. "Hey, my two favorite partners!"

Nick just grinned at her. Hunter paused, looking between the two of them.

"Oh," he said, simply, hiding a smile. He pointed the armadillo towards the holding area. "Go on, inside."

"Look, officer, I didn't kill nobody-"

"All right," said Wilde in a reasonable voice. "Since you've been so cooperative, I'll see if I can get the charges dropped to public intoxication. Sound good?"

The armadillo nodded vigorously. "Yessir! Thank you, sir!"

"All right then. Into the cage."

Judy heard the exchange. Her eyes shot to the armadillo, then back to Wilde, then to the armadillo again. "What's he going to jail for?" she asked uncertainly.

"Oh, now don't you start," replied Wilde.

Judy didn't really understand why they both started laughing, but there was clearly a look of relief on her face as they continued working on their paperwork.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Over the next few weeks, which Bogo had spent switching him between riding with Hopps and Wilde- "I guess you two can get along" he had muttered in an almost disappointed tone- something strange happened.

Hunter wasn't able to put his finger on it, at first. They were doing solid, steady police work. Boring, in other words. Responding to domestics, running loud noise calls, staking out dope houses. They made a few good arrests. When he rode with Hopps, Wilde generally- if it was quiet enough- tagged along with them in his own car and vice versa.

He taught Judy how to recognize the difference between someone who was just nervous because there was a cop watching them and someone who was nervous because there was a cop watching them and _they were up to something._

He taught Wilde how to balance his natural charm with the authority a police officer needed to have.

Wilde taught him how about the city, who was who, how to get around, and most importantly, where the good places to eat were.

Judy taught him how to talk to different species, how to work with the computer system the Zootopians used, how the department worked.

They were all gathered at a small restaurant that Wilde had recommended, Hunter sipping on a coffee- thank whatever gods there were that there was still coffee- when it hit him. "Well, I'll be damned."

Wilde cocked an eyebrow at him. "It's either too early or too late for an epiphany, Hunter."

"I just realized why this is so weird."

"What's weird?" asked Hopps, who was returning from the bathroom. "I mean, besides being the only one of your species working in Zootopia."

"No, I thought about it and that wasn't it." Hunter leaned back and regarded the two affectionately. "I just realized- for the first time in years, I'm actually having fun at my job."

Hopps's eyes widened and her ears went down. "That's terrible!"

Wilde gave her a sly look, then turned back to Hunter with mock concern in his eyes. "Oh, yes, we can't have that. Hey, Fluff, maybe the chief will put him back on parking duty if we ask nicely."

She scowled at him. "That's not what I meant. I mean, how can you not enjoy this job? We're making the world a better place!"

Hunter grinned at her. "Tell that to the bobcat we arrested yesterday."

"He'll thank us for it one day," she said primly.

Wilde and Hunter shared a look. "Yeah, sure," said Wilde without conviction. He turned back to Hunter. "So what's so much fun about it?"

Hunter took a bite of his sandwich as he considered it. "I guess- well, it's that this is all new. It's the same old, same old in many ways-" far more than he had expected- "but different." He shrugged. "I don't know how to explain it."

"Sometimes you just have to try new things," said Hopps. "I would have never left Bunnyburrow if I hadn't been willing to do something different. And look at me now!" She threw out her arms, smacking Nick. "Sorry!"

"Ack!" shouted the fox. "Police brutality! I'll call Internal Affairs!"

Hunter grinned and continued eating his sandwich as the two good-naturedly bickered.

 _Rookies,_ he thought fondly.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Interlude: First Landing, AlphaCen

"One hot confession, coming up!" Wu jubilantly slapped down the signed statement in front of the chief.

"Signed, sealed, and delivered," said Barker, grinning.

The chief smiled faintly at the two elated officers. "I know about it."

They smirked at one another.

"I was watching the interrogation session. Thought I'd check up on your progress, Officer Barker."

Their smiles slipped, just a fraction.

The chief leaned forward. "Tell me, Officer Barker, do they teach 'Puppy Dog Eyes' as a standard interrogation technique at Zootopia, or is that in the advanced course?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Chief of Police, FLPD

From: Officer Z. Hunter

Subject: Report 3: The Saga Continues

So this isn't quite as bad as I feared.

I've had two partners since I started, switching off between them periodically.

Judy Hopps is a small rabbit with a big dream. She was a country rabbit who became the first bunny to enter and get through the ZPD Academy, and did so at the top of her class. Since most of the cops here are either big prey- like rhinos or elephants- or predators, that was a hell of a thing. She's smart, and dedicated, though kind of naive. I think she'll make a great cop someday, so long as she doesn't let the job get to her.

My other partner, Nick Wilde, is a fox. That sounded wrong. Just to clarify, he's a literal fox. I mean- look, you know what I mean. He's older- started with the department just a short time ago, and he's in his thirties. Has a mysterious past, but so far he's been fairly professional and doesn't seem to let it get in the way of his job. We didn't get along very well at first- he's a bit arrogant and sarcastic- but I think his heart is in the right place. I'm pretty sure he and Hopps have some kind of thing going, which is adorable- rookies, you know?

Anyway, how's things at First Landing?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Re: Report 3: The Saga Continues

Hunter,

You realize these reports are meant to be about the structure, operations, and resources of the ZPD so we can learn how to integrate them with our own, right? Not so I can learn about the unresolved sexual tension between a bunny rabbit and a fox.

Chief of Police, FLPD

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Re: Report 3: The Saga Continues

Okay, so a rabbit and a fox? How does that even work?


	7. Chapter 7

Just a Pig

It couldn't last.

Hunter had been a cop for a long time. There were ups, there were downs. Sometimes people loved you, most of the time indifference was the best you could hope for.

It was one of the few jobs that, the better you were doing, the less people wanted to see you.

So he took the news of the homicide- a relative rarity in Zootopia- with equanimity.

"Just relax, Hopps."

Judy glanced at him, her paws still gripping the wheel. "I'm fine."

He looked at her. The mammals of Zootopia were certainly different from humans in their gestures and body language, but there were similarities- and he had spent enough time with the rabbit to interpret the tenseness of her body posture, the ears flattened against her back, and the silence that was emanating from the driver's seat.

He reviewed the call slip information, which simply stated that a pig was down, apparently not breathing, bleeding heavily.

Hunter concentrated heavily on not thinking "bleeding like a stuck pig." He had a feeling that it would not go down well.

Hopps slammed the brakes, the car skidding on the streets that were wet with the light rain. "Come on!" she yelled as she dashed out of the car.

"Slow down, Hopps!" Hunter shouted as he followed. There was a small crowd gathered- a good distance from the body. "For all we know the killer is still-" Hopps wasn't listening.

The pig was slumped over, kneeling, though his head was touching the concrete in an attitude of near-genuflection. His face was twisted up slightly, his eyes unseeing and glazed over. Blood ran red in the gutter where he had fallen.

Hopps ran up to him and put fingers to his throat, checking for a pulse.

Hunter followed, eyes scanning the area. The crowd started to disperse, especially the shiftier elements. He watched their hands carefully. Rule Six. Watch the hands. Hands are what hold weapons. Hands are what can kill you. Or paws, he supposed.

None of them came any closer.

Hopps's ears were down, and he hastened his approach as she started to roll the body. "Hopps, he's gone!" he said, grabbing her shoulder.

"No pulse! I need to do CPR!" she said, shaking off his hand. She tried to roll the body over, but couldn't quite move the dead weight.

"Hopps!" Hunter pulled her back. "He's been dead for a while, Hopps." He wasn't sure how he knew- but he knew. You eventually learn. She kept trying to get to the body. "Judy! He's gone, dammit! Leave him alone- the crime scene guys won't want him moved."

"We have to try-"

Just then, the paramedics rushed up. They quickly checked the pig, and then shook their heads. "He's dead," said one, a rabbit. With a shock, Hunter realized he was the same one that had treated him when he was attacked by the cheetah. He hadn't known he could differentiate between the different animals like that.

Hunter looked down at Hopps. Her eyes were wide, staring at the corpse. He wasn't sure if the moisture he saw was from the rain or-

"Hopps." She kept staring. "Hopps!"

"Wha- what?"

"Go to the car, tell the other units they can slow down." She looked at him uncomprehendingly. "I don't want them rushing to get here in this rain," he said, a bit more gently. He gave her a slight push.

She still hesitated.

He put a bit of snap into his voice. "Get to it, Officer Hopps!"

The rabbit closed her eyes, took a deep breath. "Okay." When she opened them, there wasn't a hint of tears, just determination. She walked to the patrol car.

Hunter watched her go. "Attagirl," he said quietly. He looked at the paramedics, taking out his notebook as he did. "So what are you guys carrying as time pronounced?" He glanced at the body again and frowned as he, finally, saw the wound.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Nick pulled up, eyes scanning with instincts primed by years on the street- even though most it wasn't as a cop. Immediately, he picked out Judy, standing with her raincoat on near the outside perimeter, arms folded around her. His eyes lingered on her a moment with worry, then he looked further. Hunter was standing near the victim, pointing something out to a rhino with a bored expression on his face.

His eyes flicked between them. Hunter looked like he had something. From the looks of it, something important. His instincts told him he should find out what was going on over there.

He walked to Judy.

"Hey, Carrots."

She glanced back, flipping her hood down to see better- it was slightly too large for her. Her eyes softened slightly as they saw him. "Hey, Nick." She turned to look back at the curious crowd, thinning somewhat as the rain got slightly heavier.

Nick glanced back at Hunter. "What's wrong?"

She whirled on him, and he actually took a step back. "What's _wrong_?" she said, almost spitting the words. "Besides the dead mammal over there, you mean?"

"Carrots-"

"Hunter held me back," she said. One paw grabbed an ear, unconsciously. "I was trying to help him-"

Nick hesitated. "Was he- could you have-"

"No." The rabbit took a deep breath. "He was gone."

Um. "Then-"

"How can you stand there and not try?" she said, almost to herself. "How can you just look at that and think- well, we shouldn't move the body?"

He didn't know what to say. "Maybe it's just part of being a cop. Maybe he just sees-" he stopped.

"What, Nick? Maybe he just sees what?" She turned again to look at him. "Just a dead pig?"

The rain intensified, and she flipped her hood back up as she turned her back on him.

No, not on him, he realized, as he looked at how she was standing.

On Hunter.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Look, Officer Hunter," said the rhino, patient condescencion dripping from his every word. "This isn't First Landing, Alpha Centauri. This is Zootopia."

"Okay, so how do you explain it?"

"Stab wounds," said the detective. "Really deep stab wounds. Maybe a sword?"

Hunter rolled his eyes. "A sword? Really? You barely even get any knife homicides, since almost everyone has claws."

"Stranger things have happened."

"Strange things, huh? Like what I'm suggesting?"

The rhino glared at him and, with a irritated shake of his head, walked away.

Hunter heard someone padding up behind him. He shook his head. "You should be on the perimeter still, Hopps."

"It's me."

Hunter turned to see Wilde, who was watching him carefully. There was something about his stance- Hunter ignored it. Job to do. "How's Hopps?"

"She's okay. Upset."

"She'll be fine." Hunter looked away. "She's one tough bunny."

The fox snorted. "Tell me about it. She's never blackmailed you."

Hunter narrowed his eyes at the fox. "Blackmailed?"

"So there's something odd about the wounds, you think?" Wilde said hurriedly.

Hunter gave him a look that said _We're gonna talk about this later._

Wilde returned one that said _We'll see._

The veteran cop gestured. "Look at those injuries."

Wilde squatted on his haunches, peering at the corpse without getting too close. "Could be stab wounds."

Hunter shook his head. "Not likely." He stopped and looked around, then started walking up and down the street, his flashlight out to help see in the growing gloom.

Wilde watched his slow progress for a few minutes as he walked a slow pattern, up and down the street. "What are you looking for?"

"For-" Abruptly, Hunter leaned down as he spotted a gleam. He got closer, than straightened. "For that."

The fox moved closer. "What is it?" he asked, not recognizing the small metal cylinder in the street.

Hunter glanced at the rhino, now talking to the paramedics. "It's a bullet casing."

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Guns."

Bogo glared. It didn't seem to be directed at Hunter for once. It was more of an generic glare, a glare directed at the universe for failing to conform to the very reasonable expectations the chief required.

"Someone has brought guns to Zootopia."

"I wonder who that could have been," muttered Procyon, the mayor. He glared at Hunter.

Hunter grimaced. He was never comfortable around brass- which he considered everyone above the rank of "patrol officer" to be- and here he was giving them bad news. He wondered if the mammals of Terra had developed any customs regarding shooting messengers.

"I assure you, my government will leave no stone unturned in this investigation," said Undersecretary Horne smoothly. "I hardly think Officer Hunter had anything to do with this. One shouldn't shoot the messenger."

"Don't give them any ideas," muttered Hunter.

If anyone heard, they ignored him. "I didn't mean him, personally, Undersecretary." Procyon sniffed. "I meant his species-"

"I think what the mayor is trying to say," put in Leapzig, "Is that there is no domestic firearms industry on Terra. So it likely did come from the Human Stars."

"We do have a number of smugglers who are on the lookout for new markets," acknowledged Horne sourly. "And rest assured, they will be punished if found. Assuming that is indeed the source of this weapon."

The rest of the assembly made noises of agreement.

Except for one. "Aren't we forgetting something?" asked Hunter.

All eyes turned to him. "Hunter," began Horne in a warning tone.

"What are we forgetting, Officer Hunter?" asked the mayor patronizingly. "Please, enlighten us."

"How about Mr. Susslun?"

There were blank looks almost all around. Almost.

"Who is Mr. Susslun?" asked the mayor.

It was Bogo who spoke. "Mr. Susslun was the mammal who was murdered."

Some of the mammals in the meeting had the grace to look embarrassed. Most-

Didn't.

 _Just one a day,_ Hunter thought, gritting his teeth. _Just let me kill one politician a day._

"Naturally, I'm sure ZPD will be right on the case. No doubt you will be able to find the killer," said the mayor, finally.

Bogo glanced at Hunter, a faint look of respect in his eyes. "I intend to."

"Very good. Well, chief, Officer Hunter, thank you for your time."

The two gathered up their notes- Hunter had his report and the written statement Homicide had insisted he provide, Bogo had a stack of paperwork that made Hunter slightly queasy just to look at- and walked outside.

Bogo looked at Hunter. He braced himself.

Instead of- well, whatever he was expecting- Bogo said, "How's Hopps?"

He blinked. "She's fine."

The big mammal cocked his head. "You know, when she started I didn't think she could hack it."

"Yeah?" They had started walking.

"Little bunny in a big city. I figured she was going to get hurt. Getting her out of the department seemed to be kinder than letting her go home in a wheelchair- or a body bag."

"She's tougher than that," said Hunter with conviction.

"Sure. She proved she was physically tough enough, at least-" Bogo held open the door as they walked outside- "in her own way."

They walked in silence for a moment. Then, Hunter stopped and turned to Bogo. "I've been training rookies for a long time, chief."

Bogo had stopped too. He didn't say anything, just nodded for Hunter to continue.

"You spend eight hours a day, five days a week riding a shift, doing police work, you learn how to read them. You do it with rookies, you learn how to tell how good they are."

A faint smile crept across the water buffalo's face. "And how good do you think Hopps is, Hunter?"

Hunter grinned. "Well, hopefully you'll be ready to retire when she takes your job."

The chief's smile froze, and then he burst out in a guffaw. He shook his head. "You ready to put your money where that big mouth of yours is, Hunter?"

Never volunteer. Never volunteer. Never- "We'll take the case, chief."

Once again, the chief chuckled. "Your chief wasn't quite right in that profile he sent me of you."

Hunter frowned. "What do you mean?"

"He said you were smart." Bogo opened his car door and got in. "He didn't quite say that you were _too_ smart. But you are." He closed the door, then rolled down the window. "Here."

Hunter took the paperwork from the chief. He glanced at it. As he suspected, it was the report for the homicide, the crime scene photos, everything.

He quirked an eyebrow. "You're not going to tell me I have forty-eight hours to crack this thing, are ya, boss?"

The buffalo snorted, though there was a twinkle in his eye. "Would I ever be that cliche? Just get it done, Hunter. Hopps and Wilde will be on special assignment with you."

Hunter snapped a salute. "Sir, yes, sir!"

Bogo gave him a level look as he backed the car up.

"Aren't you at least going to tell me I'm a loose cannon?" shouted Hunter as he drove away. "Maybe threaten to take away my badge?"

As the chief rolled off, Hunter was able to add something new to his mental list of Things Water Buffaloes Can Do, namely, Make Obscene Gestures.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo

"What the hell was I thinking?" Hunter muttered as he walked through the doors of the coffee shop. A pair of- deer? He still hadn't figured out all the species yet- did a double-take when they saw him. He ignored them and made a bee-line to their usual table, where Hopps and Wilde were sitting.

Wilde nodded to him as he sat down. Hopps didn't say anything- didn't even meet his eyes. He gave her a quizzical glance, transferred it to Wilde, who suddenly found something interesting about his coffee to consider.

Hunter decided they would talk when they were ready. "So I broke a bunch of my own rules today."

Wilde glanced up. Hopps continued to keep her head down, ears flat against her back.

"I talked to the chief about the Susslun case." He took a deep breath. "It's ours."

Hopps looked up at that. Wilde's eyes widened. "That's a Homicide case."

Hunter shrugged. "Well, the chief thinks we can handle it. We're on special assignment for the duration."

"That's-" Hopps's eyes widened further. "He didn't tell us we had forty-eight hours to solve it, did he?"

"What?" Hunter stared at her. "No, of course not. What do you think this is, some sort of buddy cop movie?"

She exhaled in apparent relief. Then looked down again, stirring her coffee slowly.

Wilde looked at her, then looked at Hunter helplessly.

"Okay...so, why is the bunny not super-excited about this?" asked Hunter slowly. "I mean, you're able to be enthusiastic about parking tickets. This is a _homicide_ case."

She looked up at him then. And he pushed his chair back slightly in surprise.

Wow, bunnies could look _mean_.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be excited?" she asked, her voice harder. Hunter leaned back further as she stood up and slammed her paws on the table. "I mean, someone died today! What a chance for my career!" Other patrons glanced at their table in surprise.

Hunter exchanged a worried look with Wilde. "Hey, Carrots, he didn't mean-" began the fox but Hunter was already talking.

"Hopps, listen, I know this isn't an easy job." His shock was gradually replaced by anger. "And you should know it too. Rule Three- you can't save everyone!"

"But you can at least try!" she shouted.

Hunter opened his mouth. Closed it again.

Now everyone in the shop was staring at them.

"I'm going home." She stood up, tossed a few dollars on the table. She paused. "Screw you and your stupid rules," she said, almost too low to hear.

Then she left.

The two males at the table glanced uneasily at one another.

After a moment, Hunter cleared his throat. "So, uh, what just happened?"

Wilde stared, shook his head in disbelief. "Gosh, a little rabbit from the country has her very first violent death to deal with and you decided to take the case without even asking her? Who would have thought she might take that badly?"

"Uh."

Hunter was smart. He was experienced. And he was proud of both of those things. Which meant he was not used to admitting he was wrong. Which may have gone some way to explaining his next words.

"She's gotta deal with it sometime."

Wilde snapped his head up, his face expressionless but his eyes piercing. "Oh, really, Officer Hunter?"

He didn't like being challenged, either. "I've been policing as many years as she's been _alive_ , Wilde, don't tell me how to deal with rookies. She's gotta see and hear this stuff sometime!" He was leaning forward as well, now.

Wilde nearly came over the table at him. "Yeah? Did it occur to you that maybe she shouldn't have heard it from you?"

"What's that supposed to mean, _fox_?"

"Excuse me," said a nervous-looking waitress, a squirrel. Both males turned to look at her. "I'm going to have to ask you to keep it down or leave." She saw their eyes and squeezed her own shut.

Wilde grabbed his coat. "We're leaving."

"I'm not-"

"Yes, you are, _human,"_ spat Wilde. "You've got something you need to see. And I'm taking you there."


	8. Chapter 8

Hunter

"What is this place?" asked Hunter uneasily.

They had ridden in silence to the building, which was a little ways outside the city proper. The late evening sun slanted down across the structure, a bare, utilitarian concrete rectangle, the rear of which slanted down until it met the ground. "It looks like a bunker."

"That's what it was, once," said Wilde. "Come on." His voice was flat, controlled.

He followed the fox as they made their way into the building and into a dingy lobby. A sleepy-looking goat sat behind the desk. As they approached, the goat sat up. "Oh, welcome! We usually don't get visitors at this hour-" she stopped as Hunter walked in. Her jaw dropped.

"We won't be too long," Wilde assured her. "How much is admission again?"

The goat's eyes never left Hunter. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" she stammered.

"No. How much?"

"It's seven fifty each, but-"

Wilde slammed down a twenty. "Forget the change."

Still uneasy, Hunter followed the fox further into the building. "A museum?" he asked as they entered the first room. There were exhibit tables, hence he guessed a museum. Trained observation skills and all.

"Yeah." Wilde leaned back against one of the exhibits. "Take a look around."

Confused, Hunter wandered to the closest table, which held a number of- he blinked.

Common household items, in what looked like extreme states of decay.

He made out a clothes iron, a set of keys from a piano, and what the label identified as highly corroded computer chips.

Still confused, he looked to the explanatory text on a small plaque by the exhibit.

 _These items were all recovered from a dig in what Humans called Toronto, which lay in the continent of North America. The excellent condition of the artifacts is believed to be the result of-_

He looked at Wilde. "Human artifacts."

"Yep."

He looked back down. "Okay, so-"

"Ever wonder why our society looks so much like yours? It confused me a bit, too, when we first started hearing about you," The fox mused. "I mean, a lot of mammals just sort of expected that would be how it was, but-" he shrugged. "Come on. I mean, the Evolution virus made us a lot more like you, but to that extent? We used the ruins of your civilization to build ours."

"I don't understand," said Hunter. "Why would that make you fear us?" For that was what he was seeing in the fox's face, subdued and hidden though it was. Fear.

He had never had a friend fear him before.

He didn't like it.

The fox gestured for him to follow.

They entered another exhibit hall.

Hunter read the sign above. "The Human-" he stopped.

 _The Human-Mammal War._

"War," he said, uncertainly.

Wilde glanced at him. "Yeah."

Hunter moved towards one of the plaques.

 _When the Humans discovered that mammals had evolved, they responded immediately with deadly force. Legends speak of fire raining from the skies, of humans ranging in hunting packs that slaughtered every mammal they came across. Recent archaeological evidence has borne out these legends._

 _Some studies indicate that as many as 85% of all mammals on Terra died during that time._

There was more.

There were artifacts from hunting camps established by humans. There were graphs explaining about the radioactive isotopes discovered indicating multiple nuclear detonations. There were maps showing them across the globe.

There were charred bones, which had been discovered at hunting camps, which the exhibit's notes helpfully explained belonged to sentient mammals. Many had teeth marks.

Human teeth marks.

Hunter felt vaguely ill, almost faint. He wanted to stop reading. He wanted to go home.

He followed Wilde further into the museum.

Through another door, where a guard stopped them with a raised hand. "Exhibit's closed for cleaning."

Wilde just pointed at Hunter. "He needs to see this."

The guard looked- and nodded. "Go ahead."

There was no fear, no anger, no hate on the guard's face. If anything, he looked sympathetic.

That made it worse.

Hunter walked into the last room, past the sign warning parents to not bring young mammals inside.

"This bunker was one of the beach-heads for the human hunting parties that came to Terra," explained Wilde quietly. "They would come back here after their expeditions."

Hunter had to force himself to walk in.

It was a trophy room.

Rhinos, water buffalo, lions, leopards, wolves.

Their heads stared down at them, glass eyes sightless in the gloom.

Hunter walked further in, saw Wilde standing next to a-

He closed his eyes. Cops don't cry.

So he resolutely turned away from the taxidermized fox and stared instead at a rabbit fur, stretched across the wall.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Wilde watched the human- his friend- and sighed. It was harsh, but he needed to see, he needed to understand. He walked up, far too short to rest a hand on his shoulder, but just stayed near him.

"Cops don't cry," muttered Hunter.

"Yeah," said the fox. "Must be all this dust. Gets in your eyes."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Interlude: First Landing, AlphaCen

Barker knocked at the door. She waited patiently while two voices quarrelled inside, before it finally opened.

"Officer Barker, FLPD," she said. "You called police, sir?"

The human's fur- no, hair, she reminded herself- was scruffy and partially covering his chin, which she had learned was a sign of poor grooming. He stared at her in amazement. "Holy shit, a talking dog!"

She sighed. "Wolf, actually." Wu, behind her, gave her a worried glance.

He snapped his fingers. "Right, I remember now! You're the officer from the animal planet!"

Wu grimaced and opened his clipboard, clicking his pen open.

Barker tried to remain patient. "You had a complaint about the neighbor's dog barking?"

"Yeah, that's against city ordinance, that is, you need to do something," said the man angrily. Then he grinned. "So what, FLPD decided if they were going to get another female officer it should be a literal bitch?"

The timber wolf glanced around the yard. "Grass is kinda high, huh?" She looked at Wu, who nodded as he wrote furiously.

"Yeah, yeah, never have time to mow it," said the human. He suddenly leered at the wolf. "Hey, you're not in heat, are you? Because I have this pit bull in the backyard-"

"Oh?" She looked again at Wu, who rolled his eyes and kept writing. "Would that be back there near the old tires and standing water?"

"Yeah, I keep telling the city to do something about that, but they just whine about how it's my property and my responsibility- buncha bullshit if you ask me, I pay my taxes- well, I would if I didn't have that exemption-"

Wu stepped up, handed him the clipboard and pen. "Sign here, please."

The man frowned at him, then at the clipboard, which had a citation book attached to it. "What's this?"

"Citations for allowing grass to grow too long, unregistered dog on the property, not clearing out junk tires, and allowing standing water. Lets mosquitoes breed, you know," said Wu pleasantly. "Sign here."

The man swore, but signed. "This is bullshit! I'm the one who called the cops!"

The two cops shrugged in unison. "City ordinances, I'm afraid. Gotta enforce them," said Barker. They turned to walk away.

"Hey!" They looked back. "What about my neighbor letting his dog bark?"

"Oh, we talked to him already. Let him off with a warning," Barker said.

She watched the man with interest. "Hey, what's it mean when a human's face turns purple like that?"

Wu grinned at her. "Means our job here is done."


	9. Chapter 9

Hustler

A fox and a man walked into a bar.

What was not immediately clear was if they were going to be able to walk out again.

"Another round," said Hunter. The waiter hesitated, but then shrugged and nodded.

Nick knocked back the last of his drink. "You okay?"

"Sure," slurred Hunter. He blinked. "Hey, who's paying for this?"

"Well," said the fox, enunciating carefully. "I paid for the museum."

"Oh, come on! We've probably spent five times that much already!"

Nick patted his pockets. "Oh, gosh, look at that. I must have forgotten my wallet." He shook his head, somewhat muzzily, and clucked to himself. "Forget my own head if it wasn't screwed on."

Hunter regarded him steadily. "Blackmail, you said."

The fox twitched. "Uh-"

"Now's the time, fox. How did that sweet little bunny blackmail you?"

The waiter arrived with the drinks, and Nick spent the time considering what to say.

Rather surprisingly, he decided on the truth. Damn liquor.

"You asked what I was before I was a cop."

Hunter said nothing, just nodded.

Nick took a breath. Sure, Hunter never struck him as the sort of mammal who would hold someone's past against him. Sure, they were similar enough that he was pretty sure that was the reason they got on so poorly initially, but still-

Rule Fifteen. We're the good guys. Act like it.

Why did this- this human's opinion matter to him? Why did Judy's opinion matter to him?

He wondered if being a good guy was worth it.

"I was a hustler," he said.

"A con-man?"

"Sort of. I mean, I was mostly semi-hemi-demi legal, if you squinted hard enough and the sun was in your eyes."

Hunter grinned. "A grifter, eh? A bunko artist? A shyster?"

"All right, all right-"

"A scammer? A swindler?"

There was a pause.

"You done, Hunter?"

"Yeah, I had kind of run out of synon- synon-"

"Shut up, you're drunk," said Nick kindly. "Anyway, one weak point was that I didn't actually pay taxes."

"Ouch."

"And she caught me out on it. And made me help her with that big investigation I told you about."

The human nodded slowly. "Uh-huh." He took a drink. "How long?"

"How long what?" asked Nick, confused.

"How long were you doing the con game?"

"Oh. Uh. Since I was twelve."

The older cop let out a long, low whistle. "And then you tossed it all away to become a cop." He stared at the fox. "Just dropped your whole life." He snapped his fingers, eyes still on Nick. "Like that."

Nick looked away. "What's your point?"

"Why?"

Nick looked at him, started to say something, stopped. He looked away again.

"For her, huh?" Hunter's voice was gentle, but it hit Nick like a slap to the face.

"What?"

The human leaned back, hands held up as if warding off Nick's ire. "Relax, Wilde. I ain't gonna tell nobody nothing." He pointed at the fox. "That's your job."

Both males turned back to their drinks.

After a moment, Hunter said, "Although."

Nick scowled at him. "What?"

"You know, if I drink enough, I might just forget this whole conversation. If only I had enough money to get another round or two." He sighed, longingly. "What a pity, what a pity."

The fox rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine." He slapped a few twenties on the table.

"Wow, found your wallet? Imagine that." He grinned at the fox. "Don't try to hustle me, hustler."

Nick couldn't help it. He laughed, raising his glass. "Call me Nick."

"All right." The human raised his glass. "It's Zach."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A man and a fox walked out of a bar.

Well, staggered.

Hunter peered around outside, pulling his coat closer. "Good grief, it got cold outside."

Nick, who kept bumping into him and throwing him off balance, shrugged unsteadily. "Yeah, it does that in Tundratown."

"Tundratown? Why the hell did we go to a bar in Tundratown?"

"Because you said, and I quote, let's go to the nearest bar. And I," Nick, after two tries, was able to put one hand against the wall, "thought to myself, I know what I'll do! I'll go to the nearest bar! He'll like that, and then we'll be buddies forever!"

"Yeah, yeah. Fine. How do we get home?"

"They called me a cab before I left. Dunno what you're gonna do."

Hunter glared at him, before he caught the fox's smile. "Sly fox."

"That's on the 'other' chart."

"Well, well, look what we have here."

Both cops turned to look at the alley behind them.

A raccoon and a black bear stood there.

"That's kinda cliche, don't you think?" said Nick.

"Yeah," agreed Hunter. "I mean, what ever happened to your money or your life?"

Nick squinted at him. "Are you encouraging the mysterious hoodlums to rob us?"

"If it gets me home faster." He looked at the two mammals in the alley, pulled out his badge. "Go rob someone else, we're cops."

"And broke," added Nick.

"And broke," agreed Hunter.

The bear and raccoon looked at them carefully. "Yeah, that's them," said the bear.

Nick and Hunter exchanged a look. "Uh, oh," commented Hunter.

"Yeah, that's- not what I expected."

Both the bear and the raccoon reached into their waistbands.

Hunter had been drinking. A lot. But there were some reactions that years of experience ingrained in you that could bypass even that. He grabbed Nick and threw himself to the side.

Two cracks split the air.

"The hell?" shouted Nick.

"Guns!" There was nowhere to run- no cover. Hunter did the only thing he could think to do.

He charged.

Another round passed by his face, so close he could feel it passing, but fortunately- and probably not surprisingly- the raccoon he was charging wasn't a particularly good shot. It took a special kind of nerve to shoot accurately at even close distances when you were playing for keeps.

And that was what Hunter was playing for, as he punted the raccoon straight into two trash cans nearby.

 _Lousy raccoons, always getting into my trash cans_ , Hunter thought irrelevantly, a common complaint of Mrs. Reynolds from back on AlphaCen flashing through his mind.

Then he remembered about the bear. The fact that he had forgotten about the bear was a fair indicator of just how drunk he was. Sober Hunter would not have forgotten a bear. Sober Hunter would not have forgotten a bear _with a freaking gun_.

There was a crack and he felt a sharp blow against his side.

He staggered, but turned to see the bear raising the gun again, awkwardly holding it in paws that were really too big for him.

But it seemed to fit well enough, and Hunter knew that no matter how fast he moved, he wasn't going to be able to dodge-

The bear staggered, and then suddenly crumpled to the ground.

Only after his mind had finished processing that sight did he remember the gunshots that preceded it.

He turned to see Nick, wide-eyed, ears back, paws clutching the gun in a two-pawed grip. The one the raccoon dropped, he realized.

"That's good shooting, especially for someone who never used one of those before."

"I've done some conducted energy gun training." As Hunter's frown, he added. "Stun gun. Not too different."

"Still- not bad." Well, he was only a few feet away. Hunter took a staggering step towards the bear, and carefully picked up the gun from the ground that he had dropped. His frown deepened. "Highfall Armory."

"Um, Zach?"

"These are top of the line weapons," muttered Hunter.

"Zach?"

"Where the hell did they get them?"

"Zach!"

"What?" snapped Hunter, turning towards the fox.

Nick, still holding the gun in one hand, wordlessly pointed with the other at Hunter's side. He looked down to see the red stain darkening his shirt.

"Oh, right. I got shot." As if that flipped a switch, he started to feel the dull, burning pain. "Dammit. I hate getting shot."

And then his brain decided it was safe to shut off the adrenaline, and he collapsed.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The halls of St. Bernard's Hospital were clean and relatively orderly, though right now the various nurses and doctors all wore a confused look on their face.

"Did you just see a little bunny ricochet off the wall and into Ward C?" asked one doctor.

"No," replied the nurse he had addressed. "Because that sounds like something I might need to deal with and it's almost the end of my shift."

Judy raced on, her heart beating so fast she thought it might burst. She flew into an intersection and stopped, eyes moving rapidly over the signs. Then, she spotted two uniformed lions down the hall.

Leo- his mother was notorious for her lack of creativity- nearly had a heart attack when Judy bounced up to his eye level. "Where is he?" she demanded. And landed. And bounced back again, this time gripping the lion's lapels. "Where is he?"

The lion was not the smartest mammal on Terra, but he knew better than to argue or explain. He just pointed through the door he was guarding.

Judy raced through and stopped.

Nick sat in a chair outside another room, looking tired and miserable.

"Nick?"

He looked up, and the look on his face nearly broke her heart. "Judy?" he said, almost in a whisper.

She raced forward and he grabbed her, holding her close. "What happened?"

"We got jumped by a couple of thugs," Nick said, his muzzle over her ear. He pulled back, so he could look into her eyes. "They had guns, Judy."

"Guns? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. But Zach got shot."

"Zach?" She looked at him quizzically. Hunter always called them by their last names.

"I'll explain later." He paused. "Carrots, he saved my life. He rushed a raccoon and a bear!"

"With guns?"

"I didn't say he was smart about it."

She paused. "How- how is he?" she asked, quietly.

Nick looked away, and she felt her eyes tear up. When he looked back, his own eyes widened. "No, it's not that bad!" he said hastily. "He lost a lot of blood, but the doctors think there's no major injury. Though- well, it's not as if we have anyone who knows much about human physiology." He stumbled slightly over the last word and she frowned, suddenly sniffing the air.

"You were drinking?"

Nick hesitated. "Yeah."

She frowned at him. "Never mind. So what are they doing?"

"They've got a doctor from the human embassy coming-"

The doors swung open and a gray-haired human, who looked slightly disheveled, swept through. He was carrying a case marked with a biohazard symbol. "Where's the patient?" he asked a nurse.

She pointed, and he walked through, barely sparing a glance for the fox and rabbit nearby.

"What was in that case?" wondered Nick.

She looked at him. "You said he lost a lot of blood."

"So?"

She rolled her eyes. "Do you think there's blood in the blood bank for humans?"

Realization dawned on the fox. "Oh, right."

"Dumb fox," she said fondly.

"Clever bunny," he said back.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Slowly, painfully, Hunter regained consciousness.

White walls. Antiseptic smell. Various- er, tubes.

Dammit.

He hated waking up in hospitals.

He shifted and winced at the pain in his side. When he spoke it came out as a croak. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Water," he said.

A furry red paw held out a cup with a straw. Eagerly, he sipped at it. "Beer?" he asked, hopefully.

"I think you had enough," said a familiar voice.

He looked over at the rabbit who was yawning and sitting up. "Hey, Hopps."

"Hey, Hunter." She pointed a finger at him. "You nearly broke your rule."

"Um." He was far from awake.

"Rule One. You always go home." With that, her voice broke and she leapt onto his bed, grabbing him in a tight hug.

"Ow, ow, ow!"

"Sorry!" She loosened her grip.

"Geeze, Fluff, go easy on the guy!" said Nick, who was putting the water back on a nearby table. "He's all pudgy and weak."

"Come over here and say that, fox." Nick just flashed a grin at him, which didn't quite hide the fox's relief.

"Make me, human."

"The doctor says you'll be good to go by tomorrow," said Hopps.

Hunter blinked. "Really? Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, apparently humans have pretty good medical technology."

"Well, yeah, I was actually expecting to be done today. I mean, I don't think this even hit any major organs. Last time I was shot I was in and out."

The two mammals eyes both widened, and they shared a look. "The last time you were shot?" asked Nick carefully.

"Um, yeah." He shifted very carefully, pulling himself a bit more upright. "First Landing can be a bit- rough, sometimes."

Nick and Hopps glanced at one another again. "Fair enough," Nick said.

After a moment, Hunter cleared his throat. "So, Hopps."

She bounced back to her chair. "Yes?"

"Look, Nick explained a few things to me, and- I'm not trying to push you any farther than you can go- what I mean is, maybe I'm not the right person to explain-" he stopped and sighed.

"Listen, rookie- rookies," he corrected, glancing at Nick. "I've talked about just about all my rules, but there's one rule that every cop has to learn."

They glanced at each other. "What is it?" asked Hopps, hesitantly.

He sighed. "Rule Zero. Everyone dies." They both looked stricken, and he shook his head. "It's the truth. Everyone dies, and maybe they go somewhere after that, and certainly they leave people behind, but someone has to clean up their unfinished business. That's where we come in.

"Mr. Susslun had mammals that loved him. They're grieving. He had the ultimate crime committed against him, and he deserves our respect. But he also deserves our very best effort to bring his killer to justice."

He looked at Hopps. "Sometimes that means you look at a body and see a puzzle. Doesn't mean you don't think about the life that body represents- it just means you concentrate on what your part of the whole thing is."

He sighed. "Hope that makes sense, Hopps."

She nodded, slowly. "It's Judy."

He smiled. "Zach."

After a moment, Nick said, "Killers."

They both looked at him. "You said Mr. Susslun's killer," he said. "Do you really think it was just one mammal?"

Hunter felt another twinge in his side. "No," he said grimly. "No, I don't."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Interlude: First Landing, AlphaCen

"Enter."

Wu and Barker snapped to attention in front of the chief. "Officers Wu and Barker reporting as ordered!" Barker announced.

The chief looked at them. "I've got a case that needs handling."

Barker practically quivered with eagerness. "Yessir!"

"Hunter- on Terra- has apparently been given a homicide to investigate." The chief paused contemplatively. "Hunter- a _homicide_ case," he repeated.

He continued. "And he wants some help from us."

Barker and Wu glanced at one another in confusion. "Sir?" asked Wu.

The chief tossed a folder at Wu, who caught it. "Apparently, the victim there was killed with a gun from the Human Stars. That's serial number and information for the gun. I want you two to trace it, since you have inexplicably become some of my best officers."

Wu grinned. "You mean, inexplicable because we're the first human slash non-human team on the department?"

The chief said nothing for a moment, just stared at him. "Sure," he said. "Why not."

Barker grinned, her tongue lolling. "Sir, thank you! It will be an honor to assist Officer Hunter. I can't wait to meet him!"

Both Wu and the chief winced.

"Whatever," said the chief finally. "Dismissed."

As they left, Barker's sharp ears caught an exhalation and a mutter of "Enthusiastic- yeesh" from the chief.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Chief of Police, FLPD

From: Officer Z. Hunter

Subject: Report 4: The Plot Thickens

Boss man,

Chief Bogo has assigned a homicide case to me and my two partners. It involves a gun. The attachment is the information we have- not much- on the gun, including serial number, photographs, and so on. I promise it is not a video of you dancing with a gazelle, nor any other savannah-dwelling mammal.

If you could, I'd like you to try and trace that weapon. It'd help a lot with the investigation.

Your minion,

Z. Hunter

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Re: Report 4: The Plot Thickens

Hunter,

Very funny. I have actually spoken to Chief Bogo, and he seemed pretty reasonable. I don't know why you expected me to believe he assigned you- _you-_ a homicide case. Come on, Hunter, even I wouldn't fall for that.

Chief of Police, FLPD

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Re: Report 4: The Plot Thickens

Hunter,

Please tell me you were joking. And that the firearm information in the attachment you sent is just part of that joke. Maybe you actually meant to send me a video of me dancing with a caribou or something?

Chief of Police, FLPD

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Re: Report 4: The Plot Thickens

Hunter,

Respond. Tell me Bogo did not actually put you on a homicide case.

Chief of Police, FLPD

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Re: Report 4: The Plot Thickens

Dammit, Hunter!


	10. Chapter 10

T4T

The next day, they were all gathered at the coffee shop to review the case.

Both Hunter and Wilde were technically on administrative leave- Hunter due to his injury, Wilde due to the shooting of the bear. Hunter kept a careful eye on the fox- he seemed to be taking his first shooting pretty well, but sooner or later he'd want to talk about it. For now, he seemed content to ignore the worried glances Hopps kept sending him and concentrate on the case file.

Administrative leave or no, they figured they could at least review the case file.

Such as it was.

"So our victim lived alone, and had for the past few years at least," said Hunter, reviewing the report. "Had family back in his hometown of- Hogwaller, really? - but no close friends here in Zootopia. Victim generally walked to and from work every day at a local factory, and was probably coming home from work when he was shot." He shook his head. "No witnesses to the shooting, but the ME says he was most likely shot about twenty minutes before the call came in."

Hopps flipped through several more pages. "How could no one have seen anything?" she said, angrily.

Wilde and Hunter exchanged a look. "It wasn't in the best part of town," Wilde said carefully.

"So? A mammal gets shot on a well-lit street, even in the rain, and no one notices or sees anything? That's ridiculous."

"Judy," said Hunter, choosing his words carefully. "You're from a town where pretty much everybody knows everybody, right?"

She nodded. "Especially since a good number of them are family."

"Right, well, in the city-" he spread his hands. "Mammals are more isolated-"

"Isolated?" The bunny was incredulous. "In the city?"

"Not physically isolated," said Wilde. "More like emotionally. Look, you know your neighbors pretty well."

"More than I wanted to, sometimes," said Hopps. They had all heard how loud her neighbors are and how their constant arguments could be heard clearly through the rabbit's thin apartment walls.

"So what do they do all day?" asked Wilde. "Where do they go? Are they hard workers or lazy? How did they do in school? What kind of mammal are they?"

She stopped, considering. "I guess, well, I guess I don't really know."

"But if I asked you about someone in Bunnyburrow, I bet you could answer all those questions in detail," said Hunter. "People move around a lot in the city, so you don't see them growing up, you don't know what they used to do, you don't know anything about them other than what they let you see." He sighed. "So you build up walls."

Hopps sat quietly for a moment. "That's sad."

"Yeah, which is why a lot of mammals move into the city and end up going a bit crazy," said Wilde. "Especially when they come from somewhere where things are so different."

"Hey, don't call Judy crazy," said Hunter sternly. "I mean, she is, but it's not polite to mention it."

"I wasn't-" spluttered Wilde, before he saw Hunter's grin. He shook his head ruefully. "You're not as funny as you think you are, Zach."

"I can see how it could happen, though," said Hopps thoughfully. "I mean, if I hadn't gotten some good friends right away-" she glanced at Nick, who ducked his head and looked away-"I might have gotten a bit desperate for some- what's the word- fellowship."

Wilde suddenly snapped his head up. "Fellowship?"

Hunter noticed his sudden interest. "Whatcha got, hustler?"

The fox gave him a flat look before glancing through the pages of interviews with witnesses. "For the most part, Susslun kept to himself, didn't really go anywhere except work. But that porcupine that lives across the street- Priscilla Quiller- said he would go somewhere pretty regularly about once a week- on Sunday, in fact. Wherever he was, he'd be gone for about three hours or so."

"And?" prompted Hunter.

"Sunday," said Wilde. "I'm thinking- a church."

There was a silence. "You guys have religion?" asked Hunter, incredulously.

Both mammals looked at him. "Well, sure," said Hopps. "I mean, most mammals aren't very religious anymore, but-"

"Like, with gods or a God, or what?"

Wilde sighed. Hopps tilted her head. "Is this really the time to have that conversation?"

Hunter grimaced. "Probably not. So what's special about Sunday?"

"For most mammal religions, nothing much," replied Wilde. "But for one in particular- look, it's a possible lead."

"Hey, it's a damn good lead," said Hunter.

"How do you figure that?" asked Hopps.

"Because right now, it's the only one we got."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Which wasn't quite true, because there was another angle Hunter had decided to check out. For some reason, though, he wasn't quite comfortable talking about it with his partners.

After Hopps and Wilde left, he called a cab. "Human Stars embassy," he told the sheep driving. "You know it?"

The sheep gave him a hostile look. "Finally decided to go where you're wanted?"

"Less snarking, more driving," he said, keeping most of the annoyance out of his voice. His memories of the museum helped with that. "Besides, what makes you think they want me there?"

The cabbie just shrugged and they were on their way.

Hunter had picked up a newspaper on his way out of the coffee shop, and he let out a groan as he read the front page.

 _Shots Fired! ZPD Officer Shoots Bear!_

In slightly smaller letters below that:

 _Is this the start of a new trend in Zootopia?_

He skimmed the article. Wilde came out pretty good, overall, he was pleased to see. The story didn't quite call him a hero, but it was pretty clear that he had acted in self-defense and defense of his partner. Hunter, on the other hand-

 _Many mammals are now wondering if contact with the humans is such a good idea._

 _"It's scary," says Ilya Ursinovat (48), who lives in the neighborhood where the shooting occurred. "I just knew this was going to happen. Everyone hears about how violent the humans are, and we make one a police officer?"_

Hunter sighed. Well, Rule Nine. If people liked us, they wouldn't have to give us a good pension.

The sheep pulled up at the embassy. "Here we go. I hope you enjoyed- no, can't say that with a straight face, sorry."

Hunter handed him two twenties. "Keep the change. And the sass."

The sheep took the money and took off without another word.

Two star marines held up their hands as he approached. "Identification," said one, his helmet covering his face and making his voice sound almost robotic.

The cop handed him his badge- his old badge. The marine scanned the badge and checked the readout before handing it back to him. "Welcome to the Human Stars embassy, Officer Hunter."

"How could I not feel welcome?" Hunter started to walk past them. "Hey, has anyone told you guys the new uniform makes you look like the minions of an evil galactic overlord in a bad science fiction film?"

Neither marine replied, but just before Hunter got out of earshot he heard one of them tell the other, "Told you."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So why are we chasing down this lead without telling Zach?" asked Judy.

Wilde concentrated on his driving. "Have you ever heard of the Church of the Fellowship of Terra?"

She thought for a minute. "Not that I can remember. Smaller church?"

"You could say that. Some people might even say a cult, though not very often. The Church has very good lawyers."

She frowned. "That doesn't sound like a good recommendation for a religious organization."

Wilde made a turn. "They have some very- odd beliefs. And some of those might be a bit strange for Hunter."

Judy snorted. "He's been dealing with a lot of strangeness lately, Nick. I think he can handle a little more."

The car slipped into a parking space in front of a non-descript building in a small shopping strip. Nick looked at her as he undid his seat-belt. "Not like this."

They both walked into the lobby, Nick keeping a controlled look on his face, Judy looking around curiously. A stoat at a receptionist's desk perked up as she saw them. "Can I help you?"

Nick held up his badge. "I'd like to speak to the- to whoever is in charge here."

The stoat's eyes widened at the badge. "May I ask what this is about?" she asked nervously.

"Homicide investigation. No one here is a suspect-" _As yet,_ Nick carefully didn't add- "but I think someone might be able to help us with our inquiries."

The stoat didn't seem reassured. "Well, I can certainly leave a message for you, if you like-"

"That won't be necessary, Charlotte," said a deep voice. Both cops turned towards it.

A tiger, limping slightly, approached, his face a mask of sincerity. He was dressed simply, all in black, with an odd stiff collar. "I am Father Richard. And if I am not very much mistaken, you must be the famous Officers Wilde and Hopps."

His face took on a reverent aspect, and he bowed deeply. "Truly are you blessed, for you have walked with the god himself, the first of his kind to return and share his wisdom with us, the children of the most holy."

Judy cast a glance at Nick, whose face could have been a mask of stone. "What- who are you talking about, exactly?" she asked.

The tiger looked up from his bow, and she nervously stepped back at the look of sheer fanaticism in his eyes. "Why, of the most blessed, the saint Zacharias Hunter, first of the ones who made us, who gave us if not life, the minds to appreciate and understand life.

"I speak of the holy ones, the ones who will return and give us our just reward in the heavens above.

"I speak of the humans."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Look," said Hunter, in his most reasonable tone, "I'm not trying to get involved in the MSI investigation, I'm just asking to be informed if they determine anything about how the guns got here and where they went." MSI- the Ministry of Strategic Intelligence- had refused to let them speak to their Terran representative, so he found himself making his case to Horne instead.

There was a reason cops generally referred to MSI as "Ms. Information".

Horne didn't even look up from the paperwork on his desk. "No one appreciates your dedication as much as I do, Officer- as surprising as that dedication turned out to be, considering what your chief told us- but we have a lot on our plates right now." He gestured towards a Zootopian newspaper, which Hunter saw was the same one he had just read. "Your little adventure has got the animals pretty riled up around here. We're expecting a solid week of protests- it's anyone's guess whether the government doesn't decide to kick us out entirely."

Hunter twitched a bit at the tone he used when he said "animals". "Yes, sir, I understand that, but this is important-"

"Important?" Horne finally looked up at him. "Important? As important as losing years of work, of constant back-and-forth between the government on Terra and the Human Stars? As important as the chance we have, the very slim chance, of finally seeing humans on humanity's homeworld again?" The bureaucrat stood up, walked in front of Hunter. "Your job here was to do photo ops, maybe kiss a few bear cubs, not go around acting like a, a-"

"A what?" asked Hunter dangerously, his hackles rising.

"A cop! That idiot buffalo put you on the street, for some damn reason, and now you're trying to solve a homicide?" Horne stabbed a finger at him. "What is important, Hunter, is for the Human Stars and the Terran goverments to get past this stupid obsession with whatever happened thousands of years ago. What is not important is who killed one stupid pig. It was just an animal, for Terra's sake!"

As he spoke, memories flashed through his mind. Gnawed, charred bones. A trophy fox.

Horne froze as he saw Hunter stiffen, and nearly fell over when the cop took a step towards him. "Just an animal, Horne?" Hunter's voice was very soft. Horne's eyes widened as they met the policeman's.

The bureaucrat hesitated.

The cop took another step towards him, and Horne backed away hurriedly. "A little, scared, defenseless animal?" He looked Horne up and down. "Kind of like you?"

"Now, listen, Hunter, I didn't mean-" squeaked the diplomat.

"Yeah, you did." Hunter turned away, grabbed his coat and hat. "And I mean what I say right now. Get me any information that the MSI turns up." He twisted his head to look at Horne, and smiled. It was a smile he had learned from Nick. A predator's smile. A _hunter's_ smile. "Please?"

Horne nodded vigorously. "Sure, sure, happy to help-"

Hunter left.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They were seated in Father Richard's office. Judy kept looking over the art- or icons, she supposed- on the walls. There was one of an idealized human handing down a stone tablet to a bunch of awe-struck mammals, another of a human walking through a forest with a lion cub in its arms.

The most disturbing one, to her, was the one showing a human, his face painted with righteous wrath, throwing thunderbolts onto fearful, cowering mammals. She shivered.

"Yes, Officer Wilde, Patrick Susslun was one of our fellowship," Father Richard was saying, his voice sad. "A faithful mammal, indeed. Few were as excited as he when we first heard that we had made contact again with our lost lords."

Only Judy was familiar enough with Nick to see the slight grimace that crossed his face. "Did he have any close friends that you knew of?"

"He had friends throughout the church," said the lion sententiously. "As do we all."

"But someone who might know why he was killed? Or was there someone who disliked him?"

The lion thought about it. "Not personally, no, but-" he got up and walked to a nearby filing cabinet. "Our faith is not the most popular in Zootopia, of course." He shot a look at Nick. "As I suspect you might know."

Nick kept his poker face.

"We frequently receive threats, officers. We used to report them, but-" The lion shrugged. "Nothing was ever done. It hardly seemed worth the effort anymore." He thumbed through the filing cabinet as Judy and Nick exchanged slightly guilty glances. "Ah, here we are. Brother Susslun gave this to me some time ago. It was wrapped around a rock that was thrown through his window." He passed over a crumpled sheet of paper.

In rough, scrawled letters, it read "Don't think we aren't watching you, human lover. Keep your muzzle to yourself or you'll get what's coming to you." Below that, there was an idealized globe and "T4T."

The two cops exchanged puzzled glances. "T Four T?" asked Judy. She looked at the lion, who shrugged his shoulders.

"What does that mean?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Terra for Terrans! Terra for Terrans!" chanted the crowd. Many held up signs, others just waved clenched paws.

Hunter sighed as he stood just inside the embassy gates. The two marines watched in stolid silence. "Protest, huh? Damn, my timing sucks."

"Perhaps you should wait inside, sir," said one of the marines.

Hunter scanned the crowd. They all seemed to be staying within the designated area, with ZPD officers stationed around the edges. One of them- he recognized Delgato- saw him and gave a friendly wave.

Hunter nodded back, still looking at the crowd. "No one wearing gas masks, no one throwing rocks- I don't think they're looking for trouble." There was a clear path towards the waiting cab, though the cabbie- sure enough, it was the same sheep from before, he realized with annoyance- looked a little white around the eyes. "I think I'll risk it."

The two marines exchanged looks. "Very well, sir."

"Don't call me sir, I work for a living," muttered Hunter. He started to walk towards the cab.

Even as he did, the protesters caught sight of him. He heard a number of things shouted, none complimentary, but so far everything seemed okay-

Until the gunshots started.

Hunter hit the ground and rolled towards one of the concrete posts intended to prevent terrorists from smashing through the gates of the embassy with a car bomb. He heard a round richochet, and, being unarmed, decided keeping his head down was the best solution.

Behind him, he noticed one of the marines lying on the ground, the other dragging his downed comrade behind the guard post.

The crowd screamed and started running pell-mell all over the place. Another glance showed his fellow ZPD officers mostly in cover, mostly scanning for the source of the shots.

Which continued, until the uninjured marine abruptly opened fire from the cover of the guard house. A series of short, controlled shots rang out, and a scream snapped Hunter's attention to a small building across the street.

A furry body lay in a doorway, partially concealed and bleeding out. Even as he watched, it twitched again- it was a panther, he realized- and tried to raise the assault rifle cradled in its hands.

The marine fired again, and the panther shuddered and became still.

Hunter let out a breath, but kept to cover. An eerie silence fell in sudden contrast to the screams and shouts that had filled the street a few minutes before. Silence- except for the sirens in the distance. And the groans and whimpers of the wounded.

The cop stood up and ran to the nearest body, a koala bleeding from the leg. "Okay," he said, eyes running over the injury. He glanced at the marine, who was still scanning the area. "Do you have a first aid kit in the guardhouse?"

The marine glanced at him, and gave a quick nod.

"Get what you need for your partner, toss me the rest."

Moving rapidly, the marine snatched the kit and tossed it to Hunter without removing anything. Hunter looked at him questioningly, glanced at the marine lying on the ground.

The marine understood. "He's gone. I'll cover you."

The koala groaned. "Who-"

"Take it easy," Hunter told him. "Don't move." He pulled out a tourniquet and cinched it as tightly as he could around the koala's leg. The mammal hissed in pain.

"The tighter the better," said Hunter. He scanned for more injuries.

"This is your doing," wheezed the koala, gritting his teeth against the pain. "You humans. I don't need your help. Why don't you just go away?"

Hunter didn't say anything for a moment, as he looked at another downed mammal. Just before he moved, he looked back at the koala. "Because it's my job not to," he said.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Interlude: First Landing, AlphaCen

Wu leaned over the counter so he could speak to the man cowering behind it. "Look, we just have a few questions-"

"Call off the dog!"

Wu sighed. "That's my partner. And she's a wolf."

The clerk raised his head slightly above the level of the counter to look at her. Barker smiled at him, showing her teeth, and he flinched. He looked back at Wu. "And that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"Look, we just want you to check your records on a-" Wu checked his notes- "Highfall Armory 11mm semi-automatic, Model 14, serial number 8472S42. Our records show it was shipped from the manufacturer to this store."

The clerk looked at Barker again. "And then you'll take her away?"

Barker sighed. "And then I'll _take myself_ away," she told the clerk.

The clerk's eyes widened further. "Holy shit, a talking dog!"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Why Are You On the News?

Why?

Why?

What have I ever done to you?

Make it stop, Hunter.

Make it stop.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Okay, real quick in case anyone's curious- I pretty much have this mapped out, so I expect to be done by this next weekend or so. The plotting is getting real tight right now, so I have check and re-check everything as I go to make sure I don't make a mistake._

 _Also, this is my first ever fanfic, so I'm not one-hundred percent sure on the ratings rules. One reviewer kindly suggested I change the rating to K, but this does deal with some sort of mature themes- it's a cop story, after all, a real one- and I wasn't sure. I sort of hesitantly dropped it to T. If you guys like it and review, please let me know what I should be rating it and why if you know._

 _Thanks!_

A Cry for Help

Hunter's phone rang as he was talking to the homicide investigator- the same rhino as before. He glanced at it, seeing a furry face. "Hang on, I gotta take this."

"Hunter, this is a bit more important-" the rhino glared at his retreating back.

"Hello."

"Zach," said Nick.

"Hey, Nick."

"You know, I thought you were headed home. Going to sleep off that _gunshot wound_ you suffered."

Hunter winced. "Um, well, I thought I'd make a quick stop beforehand-"

"Just had to check out the riot?"

"How-"

"You're on the news. Wave at the cameras."

Hunter looked up, saw the cameras pointed at him from outside the perimeter. Hesitantly, he waved.

"Not really!" shouted Nick in a panicked voice.

"Look," said Hunter. He paused. "I decided to see what MSI could tell me about those guns. Had to go by the embassy to find out."

There was a pause, in which he could hear an indistinct conversation. Nick's voice returned. "Carrots says you're an idiot."

"That's not what I said!" he heard Judy shout.

"It's what she meant," said Nick smoothly. "You should be resting." There was a sigh. "So what did you find out?"

 _That Horne is an asshole. That maybe the dark thoughts I've been having about my species since I saw that museum are true. That maybe it would be better if we just weren't here- if_ I _wasn't here-_ "Not much. But I'm hoping for some intel soon."

There was a pause, as if Nick could hear what he hadn't said. "Okay. Well, as it happens we checked out something ourselves."

Hunter cradled the phone, glancing at the cameras. They were pretty much all focused on him, now. "Yeah?"

"I'll tell you later. Hey, is the news right about who those protesters were?"

"I don't know." He spotted a sign nearby, read the markings. "Did they say it was for an organization called 'T4T'?"

"Yeah," said Nick quietly. "We'd better meet up."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It turned out Judy's place was closest.

Hunter walked in when she opened the door, looked around. "Why does your front door open into a broom closet?"

She glared at him as Nick chuckled. "You ever tried to live on rookie pay?" she demanded.

"Yes, many, many, many, many years ago."

"Yes, yes, we get it, you're old. Now talk."

He looked at her. "Wasn't that what I was doing?"

"You're not as funny-"

"As I think I am," finished Hunter. "I know, I know. So MSI finally sent me everything they had on the case."

"Yeah?"

He held up his phone, which showed the email he had received. "Apparently, they have confirmed that they were, in fact, guns. They're still checking to see if they were fired or not."

Nick stared at him. "Of course they were fired! I fired one!"

He didn't see the worried look Judy shot him.

Hunter sighed and sat on the bed, which creaked alarmingly under his weight. "I know, I know. The wheels of justice grind slowly, though exceedingly-"

"Fine?" said Judy.

"I was going to say slowly again. Rule Nineteen: The only thing worse than a bureaucracy that doesn't work is a bureaucracy that does work." Hunter looked at Nick. "So what's your story?"

"We found out something about the victim." He hesitated, trading a look with Judy.

The human cop narrowed his eyes. "And?"

"Well- there's this church. They worship humans."

Silence.

"What."

"Think about it, Hunter- you guys did something- who knows what, exactly- and turned us from animals to thinking, sapient beings. There's bound to be a certain subset of mammals that see that as, well, godlike," said Nick.

Hunter blinked at him. "You don't, I mean, there's no way that you-"

The fox snorted. "Of course not. I can see where they're coming from, but if I had any delusions about the divinity of humans, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have outlasted meeting you."

"Um, thanks?"

"Anyway, they aren't real popular, and Susslun looks to have been threatened by an organization that _really_ doesn't like them."

"Why aren't they popular? Wait," he said, reddening as he realized what he had asked. "Never mind that, I can guess. What organization?"

Judy held up an evidence bag with a note inside it.

"T4T", read Hunter. "Ah."

"And now someone shoots up the human embassy during a rally by that group," said Judy. "Someone else killed Susslun, after he received threats-"

"From that group. Also with a gun," finished Nick.

Hunter's phone buzzed. He looked at it, frowned. "Huh."

Both of the other cops looked at him. "Something wrong?" asked Judy.

Hunter was checking the phone. "Yes and no. Someone sent me some additional information from the embassy." His face hardened as he read. "They sent me an email that was sent to the embassy, but never forwarded to me."

"From who?" asked Nick.

Hunter held up the phone.

"From Susslun. Sent a week before he was killed."

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: P. Susslun

Subject: I Need Help

Dear Mr. Hunter,

I can't say much. I don't know whether they can track this or not. They're after me, Mr. Hunter, and I'm scared. I don't know who I can turn to, other than the humans that have given me the first hope I've felt in years. Please, can you talk to me?

It wasn't supposed to be like this. The other Zootopians hate me, and even my friends turn away when I look to them. Every hand is raised against me.

Please. Terra for Terrans must be stopped.

P. Susslun

The other two cops finished reading the email. Both looked at Hunter, who had handed the phone over and was standing, looking out the window.

"He asked me for help," said Hunter, softly. "He asked _me_ for help. Not Zootopia PD. Not FLPD. Me. Zacharia Hunter."

"Zach-" said Judy hesitantly.

The human whirled around. "Hey, rookies, have you ever done a search warrant before?"

They looked at one another.

"No-o-o," replied Nick, carefully.

"Now's a good time to learn. Let's go."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Bogo frowned at the three mammals in front of his desk. Hopps and Wilde stood at attention; Hunter stood at something that, after long consideration, the chief had decided was his _idea_ of attention. "Aren't you on administrative leave?" he asked Wilde.

"Uh."

Hopps spoke up. "Chief, we found some stuff out. It's all in that report I gave you."

He gave her a flat look. "I read it."

"And?"

He looked to the human who had just spoken. "Aren't _you_ on administrative leave?"

"For a gunshot wound, yeah." He shrugged. "I got better."

The buffalo sighed. "So now you want to get a search warrant for the headquarters of the organization that's making all the headlines, the one that specifically dislikes humans? Based on-" he waved at the report- "this?"

"It's solid, chief." Hunter held his gaze steadily. "I've gotten warrants on less."

The chief drummed his fingers on his desk. "Your chief isn't happy with you, Hunter. I've been getting lots of emails."

"Wow, me not getting along with the brass? Mark this down on your calendar, Judy, it's a red-letter day."

Bogo cocked an eyebrow at the human. "Judy? Not Hopps?"

"Look, chief, we've got a threat from a group to our vic that was subsequently carried out with a _gun,_ we've got an email from him that says he's afraid of that same group, and we've got a shooting at the embassy targeted against humans during a rally by the same group. If that's not enough, what is?"

The chief nodded, slowly. "Fine. So it's good enough for a warrant. But you shouldn't be the one to serve it."

"Like hell, chief!" Hunter took an angry step forward. "This is our case! You can't pass it off to someone else!" He slammed his hand down on the chief's desk.

There was a long silence as the buffalo stared at the cop. Both of them then transferred their gaze to the hand Hunter had slammed onto the desk, which the human hastily jerked away. After a moment, Hunter took a careful step back as he glanced at Hopps and Wilde. Wilde's eyes were wide, his ears back, and he was standing utterly still. Judy had her eyes squeezed shut, gripping her ears with her paws.

"That is to say-"

"Who's being cliche, now, Hunter?" The buffalo grinned at him. "Okay, you can go along with the warrant team."

All three mammals in front of his desk let out a sigh of relief.

The chief stood. "You're a loose cannon, Hunter. Next time you lose your temper like that, I'm taking your badge."

Nick and Judy shot each other puzzled looks as Hunter burst out laughing.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You ready?" Hunter looked at Nick and Judy, who nodded, their faces set.

The headquarters of Terra for Terrans was surrounded, the few mammals who had been outside quietly detained and led away. Now, they were preparing for entry.

"Let's go!"

He burst through the door, nightstick at the ready, the fox and rabbit behind him.

"ZPD! Paws where I can see 'em!"

Shocked mammals looked up, a receptionist actually falling out of her chair. "You can't come in here!" she shouted.

"Get on the ground, now!"

More officers poured in, but Hunter, Judy, and Nick were already moving further into the building.

Hunter rapidly cleared each office as they passed. The mammals inside looked shocked, but complied with the officers's shouted commands. He made his way to the main office, and slammed open the door. "Paws! Show me your paws!" He shouted.

A massive grizzly bear stood up from his desk, his eyes widening with outrage. "How dare you-"

Hunter strode up to the desk, fixing the mammal with his eye and holding up a document. "Search warrant. Step away from the computer."

The bear looked at him, looked back at the computer.

Nick and Judy stepped up on either side of Hunter. "Do what he says," Judy told the bear warningly.

"Or not," Hunter said, his eyes narrowing. "Go ahead, give me a reason."

For a moment, the bear wavered. Then he grinned. "Reason to do what, little mammal?" He reached for the computer.

Judy swung up the stun gun she carried and pulled the trigger.

The bear roared as a large and no doubt very painful burst of electricity locked up his muscles. He fell to the ground, twitching. Hunter moved closer, looked over the desk at the bear. "Or I'll let the bunny rabbit off the chain, that's what." He grinned at Judy, who grinned back.

Two other officers rushed in, took in the scene, and rapidly pawcuffed the groaning grizzly. As he was helped up- well, more allowed to stand up, the grizzly glared at Hunter. "We should never have let your kind come back to Terra," he ground out between clenched teeth.

Hunter ignored him. "Anything?" he asked the lion captain nominally in charge of the warrant service as the feline cop walked into the office.

The captain- Felix, because of course- nodded slightly at him but looked at the bear. "Mr. Silvertip? I hope you aren't too badly harmed," Felix said solicitously.

"Ah, an actual police mammal," said Silvertip, casting a triumphant glance at the three officers who had taken him down. "I wish to register a complaint-"

"Before we get to that, I just want to ask a quick question." Silvertip stopped, confused. Felix nodded to someone outside the office. Two officers came in, carrying a large crate. With a thump, they dropped it to the floor.

Hunter walked over to the crate, recognizing the marks as Highfall Armory markings. Casually, he used his foot to shove the lid back.

Silvertip stared.

"Would you care to explain why you have several crates of human assault rifles in your offices, Mr. Silvertip?" asked Felix.

The bear looked at Felix, then at the crate, then at the lion again. "I don't- that isn't-" He twisted to face Hunter. "He planted it! The human! It's the only thing that makes any sense!"

Silvertip looked around at the grim faces around him, frantically looking for any sign of hope. "This is a frame-up!" he shouted.

Captain Felix cleared his throat. "Alastair Hollister Silvertip, you are under arrest for the illegal possession of deadly weapons. It is my duty to inform you that you have the right to remain silent. You have the right to-"

The rest of the speech was lost behind them as Hunter, Judy, and Nick walked out of the building. The three cops looked at one another.

"So, that's it?" asked Judy.

Hunter shrugged. "What'd you expect? A runaway train? A showdown where the villain tells us his evil plan and you record the whole thing on your little carrot pen?"

She smiled. "It worked before."

He shook his head. "Rookie, rookie, rookie."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Later, the three were relaxing at the station, having just finished their statements for Judy's use of the stun gun.

Nick had his chair all the way leaned back, eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Periodically, he snored.

Hunter was composing an email, occasionally stopping and chuckling to himself evilly. It was kind of creepy, Judy thought.

She herself was nibbling on a pencil, thinking. Being a rabbit, the pencil was just about gone. Finally, she looked up at Hunter. "Zach?"

"Hmm?"

"We still don't know who killed Susslun."

Hunter tapped his phone once more with an air of finality. She wondered who was going to receive that email, and what their response would be. "Well, it'll be one of the T4T mammals, no doubt about it. I mean, that computer the bear tried to get at had plenty of stuff about taking 'direct action' and the like. Hell, one of the email exchanges even talked directly about the Church of the Whatsis of Whosits."

"Church of the Fellowship of Terra," corrected the rabbit absently, still chewing on the pencil. "But I really want to know."

"Rule Twelve, rook- If you just can't stand not knowing, you're in the wrong job." He waved his hand dismissively, glancing to the door as two detectives, including the rhino he kept having run-ins with, walked in. "Look, we did the hard work, now we can sit back and let the dicks finish with the fiddly bits."

"The what?"

Nick spoke from where he was sitting, eyes still closed. "Dicks. Old slangy term meaning detectives."

Hunter kept his eyes on the rhino detective, who glared at him. "Sure, that's what I meant." The rhino snorted and stumped off. "Yeah, you better keep walking," muttered Hunter. "I've got a bunny and I'm not afraid to use her."

"That is _so_ wrong, Zach," said Judy.

Hunter whipped around and stared at her. "What?"

Nick started laughing. "Carrots!" he gasped between guffaws. "You just made an off-color joke! I'm so proud!"

She felt her ears heat up, but grinned. "You two have corrupted me."

The human cop looked from one to another, before settling back in his chair. "Rookies," he muttered.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Interlude: First Landing, AlphaCen

Wu and Barker followed the clerk to a back room, where he had said the records were kept. The clerk kept sneaking nervous glances at the wolf.

"Let me see," he said, tapping at the computer. "Hmmm...okay, that was a lot sold to customer 3591."

"You have a name?" asked Wu, his pen poised.

"Let me cross check it- yeah. You ready?"

"Go ahead."

"It's Freely, I. P."

Barker growled, and the clerk looked up, eyes wide. "No, wait, sorry, that's the name he gave, he must have had it on his ID, I'm not messing with you, please don't eat me!"

Wu spun the monitor to face him, then towards Barker. "He's telling the truth."

"It couldn't be a real name," said Barker.

"No," Wu sighed. "Fake ID's aren't that hard to come by. Especially if a gun shop is a bit lax in checking them thoroughly." The clerk paled at his look.

"So a perp with a sense of humor. How wonderful."

The clerk cleared his throat. "Um, he's been here a few times."

Wu looked at him. "You remember this guy?"

"Yeah," said the clerk with a nod. "In fact, he was here just a day ago."

"Where?" asked Barker.

The clerk looked at her, confused. "Here, in the shop."

The wolf rolled her eyes. "I mean, where specifically?"

As the clerk walked them back to the front of the shop, Wu looked at his partner. "What's the deal?"

She shrugged. "It's a long shot, but maybe I can catch a scent."

Wu nodded. "Might as well try."

The clerk pointed to a display cabinet. "Last time he was here, he spent a long time looking at some of these weapons. I remember because-" he stopped as Barker started sniffing all around the display cabinet.

She stopped. "Blood. I smell blood."

The clerk regarded her warily. "Your dog is creepy, mister."

Wu groaned. "She's not my dog."

"What were you saying a moment ago?" asked Barker. "You remember he was here because-"

"Um, because he cut himself working the action to that 12.7mm bolt-action there. See, it's kind of a design flaw, it can catch you if you're not-"

Wu and Barker ignored him, both leaning closer. It was hard to see against the dark wood, but-

Bloodstains. DNA. The two cops looked at each other and grinned. Barker rushed out the door to get the evidence kit.

The clerk watched her go. "So she's not your dog? So she's like, what, a stray?"

Wu turned to him, opening up his clipboard. "Hey, while we're waiting, I noticed the numbers on your address sign aren't at least five inches tall. Did you know that's a violation of city ordinance?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Chief of Police, FLPD

From: Officer Z. Hunter, ZPD

Subject: Good News!

Jefe,

In case the subject line didn't give you a heart attack, try this on for size- I think we may have averted an interstellar incident.

I know, I know, doesn't sound like me at all, does it?

The full report is in one of the three attachments I sent. The other two are videos of you dancing with various creatures. It's like a shell game- guess which one actually has the report.

You sounded a bit off in your last email. You okay?

Yr. Most Obt. Srvt,

Z. Hunter

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Re: Good News!

Oh, I'm much better now. Did you know there's a support group at Psychological Services specifically for your supervisors?

By the way, I checked all three of those attachments you sent me, and very funny- none of them have the report. Just like the shell game. You're not as funny as you think you are.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Chief of Police, FLPD

From: Officer Z. Hunter, ZPD

Subject: Re: re: Good News!

Actually, all three of them have different sections of the report. I just rigged it so you have to watch each video in its entirety before you can read them.

I am exactly as funny as I think I am.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Re: re: re: Good News!

I hate you, Hunter. So, so much.


	12. Chapter 12

Between Wolves and Sheep

"Thanks to the sterling efforts put forward by two of our newest police officers, with valuable assistance from Officer Hunter of the Human Stars First Landing Police Department, the city can now breathe a sigh of relief. Over thirty high-powered, fully automatic weapons were recovered from the offices of Terra For Terrans, including a substantial quantity of ammunition. There is strong evidence to suggest that they planned to strike at the welcome ceremony for the new Human Stars Ambassador that is going to take place soon.

"This decisive police work shows the efficacy of the reforms enacted under my administration, demonstrating-"

Judy tuned out the mayor as he continued to address the press conference. She snuck a glance at Nick, who kept hiding a smile.

"What's so funny, Nick?"

He controlled his expression carefully. "I was just thinking that we're almost to the point where you address the press conference and start riots throughout the city."

Hunter, standing next to her, chuckled. She shot him a glare before looking back at Nick. "That happened one time, it's not like it's a habit or anything."

The fox grinned at her. "Well, at least they've identified the true heroes here. Though with 'valuable assistance' from someone else-" he paused, tapping his chin "-huh, forget his name."

Hunter rolled his eyes. "Trust me, I'm happy to not be in the spotlight. Rule Seventeen: All publicity is bad publicity."

"I thought the saying was, 'All publicity is good publicity,'" said Nick. The human looked at him.

"Like, the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about, Wilde? Not for cops, trust me."

The llama who was the mayor's press coordinator bustled over to them. "Are you ready?" she asked the group.

They exchanged confused looks. "Ready for what?" asked Judy.

The llama gestured. "To answer questions, of course."

Nick's eyes widened. "Didn't they learn from last time?"

"Who is going to answer questions?" asked Hunter, eyes narrowing.

The llama waved her hands. "I don't care, just pick one of you." She headed off again towards the other members of the mayor's staff.

The cops looked at one another. "I did it last time," said Judy.

"So you have the most experience, then," noted Hunter.

Nick looked at him. "What, Mr. I've-Done-Everything has never done a press conference?"

"Did you not even hear Rule Seventeen?"

"Look," interrupted Judy, who realized from the cadence of the mayor's voice that he was winding down. "One of us has to do it."

"And so, one of the brave officers who spearheaded this investigation will now answer questions," finished the mayor, gesturing to his side.

Immediately the cameras turned to focus on a human, fox, and rabbit, who were all holding straws clutched in their fists. Hunter opened his hand and looked at the straw.

"Oh, for fu-"

"Hunter!" hissed Judy. He looked up at the cameras that were all pointed at him.

"Fudge," he muttered. Nick choked back a laugh and he glared at him.

With studied casualness, he walked to the podium and cleared his throat. Immediately, dozens of paws shot up.

Judy looked at Nick. "I just thought of something."

The fox looked at her. "Yeah?"

"Did we just send Hunter to do a press conference? Hunter?"

"First question." Hunter's eyes narrowed as he picked out a bespectacled wallaby near the back. "You," he said, pointing.

The wallaby looked slightly surprised to be picked, though she'd had her paw up. She stood. "Anna Ostland, Zootopia Special Report. Alastair Silvertip has filed complaints against the ZPD for excessive force, saying he was brutally shocked with a stun gun during his so-called 'arrest'. Would you care to comment?"

"Sure, but real quick- didn't you write that editorial I read, the one where you said the attack at the embassy was- hang on- 'regrettable in its violence, but understandable considering the long history of distrust caused by human actions against other mammals in the past?'"

"If you won't answer the question-"

"Oh, you didn't ask for an answer, you wanted a comment. So I'm commenting. So you're willing to excuse a shooting at the embassy where three innocent mammals were killed as 'regrettable but understandable' but not willing to to excuse a much lower degree of force used against a resisting suspect in those same violent attacks?"

The wallaby had a trapped look on her face. "That's- it's not the same. ZPD officers are-"

"What? Better than that? Surely you're not suggesting that there's a moral equivalence between shooting innocent mammals in cold blood and using a very reasonable degree of force to stop a suspect from resisting a search warrant, are you? Because that would be silly, Ms. Ostland, very silly indeed."

The wallaby's mouth worked, but no words came out of her mouth. Hunter looked around. "Who's next?"

All the paws dropped.

"Wow, no more questions? It's a hard-working and inquisitive press like this that makes democracy great." He waved to the cameras. "Stay in school, kids!"

Hunter walked off the podium, glancing at the assembled brass nearby. Bogo was standing very stiffly, his face a mask of control. The mayor had his face buried in his paws.

"How'd I do?" he asked Hopps and Wilde, who were staring at him, aghast.

Wilde looked at Judy, inspecting her belt. "What?" she asked, annoyed.

"Just seeing if you had a can of human repellent on you."

"So the chief said he is never, ever, in a million years, going to let you do a press conference again," said Nick. "I believe the words 'over my dead body' were mentioned."

Hunter, who had his chair leaned back, feet propped on a table, and his hat tipped over his eyes, grunted. "Mission accomplished, then."

Judy was tapping away at a computer, finishing up some paperwork. "Actually, he said 'over someone's dead body' and I don't think he meant a water buffalo's."

"Well, I haven't had brass threaten to kill me for a while, so I was due."

Nick shrugged. "At least we got through the whole press conference without someone stalking away."

Judy shot him a glance. He grinned back at her and she rolled her eyes.

Clawhauser poked his head into the room. "There you are! Chief wants to talk to you, Hunter."

Nick and Judy winced. Hunter adjusted his hat and stood up with a sigh. "Life would be so much more fun if I could do things without all these silly consequences." He looked at Clawhauser. "Bogo in his office?"

"Not Bogo." The cheetah held out a strange-looking device, which looked like a cell phone, though much larger than he was used to. "Chief of FLPD."

Hunter took the device gingerly. "This might be the first time the consequences were literally interstellar, though." He held up the phone to his ear. "Hello."

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

There was a long silence. Then a long sigh. "Hunter."

"Hey, Chief. Did you get the emails I sent you?" Hunter saw Judy and Nick raise eyebrows at him.

"Hunter, as much as I would love to talk about where, why, and how you got videos made of me dancing with various mammals on a stage, I need to cut to the chase. This call is interstellar, which means it literally costs more a minute than you make in an entire day."

"Wow," said Hunter. "That much, eh? So thirty seconds is like, one or two cups of coffee?"

"Hunter-"

"Well, before you get to whatever you were going to say, I just wanted to say this-"

Hunter cleared his throat. "Rabbit ain't got no tail at all, tail at all, tail at all-" he sang.

Judy's jaw dropped as Nick cracked up.

"Hunter-"

"Rabbit ain't got no tail at all, just a powder puff." Judy was laughing, too, now. "Same song, second verse, doesn't get better, just gets worse-"

"HUNTER!"

The cop stopped, grinning at his partners. "Yes, chief?"

"You've got new orders."

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy and Nick abruptly stopped laughing as Hunter's face turned serious.

"Sir, I just got here-"

There was a pause. They could hear a deep voice talking, though too indistinctly to make out.

"Yes, I know I didn't want to come at first, but- you know I always see things through."

More indistinct words. Hunter sighed.

"Okay, well maybe not always- okay, never if I can help it. But-"

"-I wouldn't say I've done _as much_ damage as I could have done here, the biosphere is still intact-"

"-No, chief, I promise I don't have any plans to destroy the world-"

"Sir, I-" he paused, looking at Judy and Nick. "I could still-"

The other voice rose.

"Yes, sir. No, sir. Yes, sir. Right away, sir."

With a disgusted air, Hunter jabbed the off button on the communications device. He stared at the wall, his jaw clenching and unclenching. Clawhauser, who had been watching worriedly, very cautiously took the phone from the human's hand.

Judy glanced at Nick. Carefully, she approached her friend. "Zach, what's wrong?"

He didn't look at her. "I've been recalled," he said.

Nick stood up, walked to him. "I thought you were supposed to be here for a year."

Hunter looked down at him. "So did I." He turned towards the door, and Clawhauser hastily stepped away from the doorway. "I've got to pack," he muttered.

And stalked away.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy and Nick sat in their patrol car, watching the cars flash past disinterestedly.

Neither mammal had said much since roll call. Both had caught themselves looking expectantly at Hunter's usual spot when they walked in, and there didn't seem much to be said about the empty chair they saw instead of the slouched figure of their friend.

After a moment, Nick sighed. "We need to talk."

Judy looked at him. "You want to talk? You?"

He rolled his eyes. "Or we could sit here in silence all shift. Look, he'll be back to visit- he said so."

"In an email, Nick." She looked out the window. "He's already distancing himself."

"Hey, we got along just fine without him."

"It's not that we can't get along without him, it's that- I'm going to miss him. He made things interesting."

"I think that we'll find plenty of interesting things to do while he's gone." He looked at her, her ears down, her posture slumped, the very picture of misery. "You still have me."

She smiled at that. "And you've still got me." She reached out and took his paw. "You haven't talked much since- since that night outside the bar in Tundratown."

Now it was Nick's turn to look away. "We've kept busy."

"You did the right thing, Nick. If you hadn't- hadn't done what you did-"

"You mean shoot and kill another mammal?" he said, his voice flat.

The rabbit couldn't help it. She shuddered.

Nick felt it and snapped his head to look at her. His eyes were wide, betrayed.

He looked exactly like he did after the Night Howler press conference.

"Nick-" she said, frightened. Frightened that he was going to leave again.

He misinterpreted the fear in her voice. "What's got you so scared, bunny?" he snapped. "A minute ago you said I did the right thing."

"You did! It was the only thing-"

He undid his seat belt. "I should have known better, I really should have. Hunter- damn him. He can go to Alpha Centauri or to hell as far as I'm concerned." Nick's voice was cold with rage. He got out of the car. "I'm taking a walk, Hopps."

"Nick, this is ridiculous, I don't think you're-" she grasped for words. "Dangerous."

The fox slammed the car door, leaned over to look at her through the window. "Then I was right.

"You are a dumb bunny."

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy had lost him.

She had been shocked into inaction just long enough that the fox had slipped away, and now, despite all her searching, she couldn't find him again.

She turned away from the railing of the bridge, where she had half-expected the fox to be. Her radio suddenly crackled.

"Unit Twenty-Seven Charlie, Dispatch calling Twenty-Seven Charlie."

With a snarl of frustration, she keyed the mike. "What is it, Clawhauser?"

There was a slight delay. "You okay, Judy?"

"What. Is. It."

"Um, okay. They need you at the jail. Say it's urgent. Something about Silvertip wanting to talk to you."

The rabbit pulled her ears in frustration. "It can't wait?"

"I'm just the messenger, here. And no, they want you there right away."

"Fine. I'm enroute." She snapped the radio off, irritated.

She thought for a minute, then pulled out her cell phone. Hesitated. Dialed.

The phone rang, and rang again. She nearly ended the call, but just before she did-

"Hunter."

"Zach, thank God. Listen-"

There was a sigh. "Dammit, Judy, haven't you ever heard of a clean break?"

"I don't have time for your cynical old cop routine, Hunter!" snapped Judy. There was a shocked silence on the other end of the line as she took a breath. "I can't find Nick."

"What do you mean, you can't find him? Aren't you two on duty? Did you check the passenger seat?"

"This is serious, Zach! We talked about his shooting, and he snapped at me, and I- I got a little scared, and now he's gone! I'm worried that-" she squeezed her eyes shut, thinking of the look on the fox's face. Betrayed. Angry.

Lost.

"I'm worried he might do something- dumb."

Another silence. "Where's the last place you saw him? I'll meet you there."

"I've just been called into the station. Look, as soon as I'm done I'll meet up with you, okay? Just-" She stopped, tears choking her voice. "Just find him, okay? I can't lose him again."

She heard a car door slam through the phone connection. "Don't worry, rookie. And you two need to have a long talk soon."

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy walked through the entrance to the jail, flashing her ID card at the elephant on duty. "They wanted me for something, Francine?"

The elephant looked her over cautiously, noting the barely concealed anger and frustration in the rabbit's stance. "Yeah, but are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she snapped. "Which way?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter hung up the phone, looked at the cabbie.

The sheep turned to face him. "Where do you-"

He stopped. Hunter's eyes narrowed as he recognized the same cabbie who had taken him to the embassy.

"You."

"You."

Hunter sighed. "Look, there's a little bar in Tundratown-"

"Isn't it early to be drinking? Oh, I forgot who I was talking to- right away sir, wouldn't want to miss your death by alcohol poisoning."

Hunter shook his head. This day just kept getting better and better.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy stared at the bear, who led in, manacled both forepaws and feet. "You wanted to see me?"

Silvertip nodded, his head held regally up. "I would have preferred if the human-" his face twisted in an ugly way when he said the word "-were here, but his 'friends' will do as well."

With an effort, Judy kept her expression neutral. "What do you want?"

The bear sat down heavily, glanced at the jailer. "Perhaps you could loosen these manacles a bit? No? Well, never let it be said that the Zootopian jail lacks in hospitality."

"Get to the point," snapped Judy.

Silvertip's eyebrows rose. "Oh, the rabbit has teeth. I'll make this simple, since you're so busy and all." He leaned forward. "You won't get away with it."

Judy exchanged a puzzled look with the jailer. "Get away with what?"

"Oh, I know, I know, can't admit to anything. But see, I know that there were no human weapons in my office, at least not until your search warrant 'mysteriously' found them. So where, where could they have come from?"

The rabbit cop stood up. "That's all you got? You just wanted to accuse me of setting you up again?" She grabbed her hat. "Tell it to the judge."

As she walked away, the bear rose to his feet. "You haven't won, rabbit!" he shouted at her retreating back. "This isn't over! Terra will be for non-human Terrans! Every paw will be raised against you and your human-loving kind!"

Judy froze. "What did you say?"

"You heard me, _bunny!_ "

She turned, stared at the bear.

And rushed out.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter spotted him, staring at a discolored section of concrete in the alleyway next to a familiar bar. The human walked up to the fox, pulling his coat close against the cold.

Wilde didn't look up as Hunter approached. "Thought you were leaving."

"Yeah, so did I." Hunter looked down as well. "You and the bunny have a little tiff?"

The fox snorted. "You could say that. I mentioned the shooting, she got scared, and it reminded me that to her, no matter what I do, I'll still be-"

"A predator?"

"Yeah." Wilde sighed. "Dangerous."

Hunter took off his cap, rubbed his cheek as he thought for a moment. "You guys have sheep, and wolves. What about sheepdogs?"

Wilde frowned at the sudden change of subject, looked at him. "What?"

Hunter tilted his head back and quoted, "There are three types of people in this world: sheep, wolves, and sheepdogs. Some people prefer to believe that evil doesn't exist in the world, and if it ever darkened their doorstep, they wouldn't know how to protect themselves. Those are the sheep.

"Then you've got predators who use violence to prey on the weak. They're the wolves.

"And then there are those blessed with the gift of aggression, an overpowering need to protect the flock. These men are the rare breed who live to confront the wolf. They are the sheepdog."

 _(A/N: Quote is from_ American Sniper _, directed by Clint Eastwood, 2014)_

Wilde frowned at him. "That sounds pretty harsh towards predators."

"Your species may be a predatory species," said Hunter. "But you're not just an animal. You've got free will. Those teeth aren't who you are- they just represent your capabilities." He nodded to where the bear that had attacked them had once lain. "That crook made a choice. He chose to take someone's life. You made a choice, too."

The fox nodded grimly. "To take his life."

"No." Hunter grabbed the fox, forcibly turned him to face him, and looked him in the eye. "To save mine.

"Yeah, you're dangerous, fox. You're a cop. If you're not dangerous, you aren't going to be a good one. But you just need to be dangerous in the right way. Make good decisions about how to use those capabilities your background has given you. Same choice everyone makes, just with consequences that are a bit more-" he looked at the bloodstains on the ground "-real. It's not that you have sharp teeth that matter, Nick. It's what you do with them."

After a moment, Wilde sighed. "Do you know what it's like, to see someone you-" he struggled, not quite saying the word _love_ "-are friends with, to see them looking at you with fear in their eyes?"

Hunter thought back to the museum they had visited before going to the bar. Thought of Nick's gaze on him as he slowly led him to understand just how vicious humans could really be. "Yeah, Nick. Yeah, I do."

The stood in silence for a minute.

As they turned to walk away, Wilde perked up slightly as if a thought had just come to him. "So I was protecting you, then?"

Hunter shot him a suspicious glance. "Yeah, that's what I just said."

"So does that make you the sheep?"

The human gave him a flat look and opened the door to the taxi. "Get in the car, fox."

Wilde started to get in, looked at Hunter. "Baa."

"Oh, hell no, you did not just say that!" shouted a furious voice from the driver's seat.

Wilde's ears flattened and eyes widened as he turned to meet the gaze of a furious sheep. "That is _our_ word!"

Hunter pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows. As Wilde spluttered, he pulled out a much-folded sheet of paper and carefully added "Baa" to the cell marked "Sapient Sheep".

As he put the paper back his cell phone rang again. He answered. "Hunter."

"Did you find him? Is he okay?"

Hunter looked at Wilde who was frantically trying to apologize to the infuriated cabbie. "Yeah, though he might get mauled by a sheep."

There was a pause. "Whatever. Look, you and Nick need to get down to the station."

"Uh, Judy, you know I'm not supposed to-"

"Just get here." There was a click as the line disconnected.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Interlude: First Landing, AlphaCen

They'd gotten a hit on the blood. Alphonse Truscott. Formerly _Sergeant_ Alphone Truscott, Human Star Marine. Dishonorably discharged four years ago.

Now working for a private military contractor called Outside Options and Initiatives.

Wu glanced at his partner, who hefted the custom-made pistol she had been issued by FLPD, and nodded.

They burst through the OOI-marked door and into the small office building. "FLPD, don't move!"

"Show me your paws!" shouted Barker. "Don't move!"

The SWAT team was already sweeping the corridors. A man near the entrance made a furtive move towards his waistband and found himself on the floor, seeing stars as Barker body-checked him to the ground.

"Stay on the ground! Put your paws in front of you."

The suspect stared. "What?"

Barker snarled at him. "Do you speak English? Paws- oh."

"Put your hands where we can see them," ordered Wu, who was trying- and failing- to keep from laughing.

Two SWAT officers appeared, shoving a handcuffed man in front of them. Wu looked at Barker, who pulled a photo from her pocket. Without saying a word, she showed the photo- the driver's license photo of their perp. The two cops turned back to the suspect. Wu noticed with interest that the glare he gave Barker showed only hate, not the confusion almost everyone else had displayed on seeing a sapient mammal before. He turned to face the suspect.

"Mr. Freely, I presume?"


	13. Chapter 13

Paws

Nick and Hunter walked into the station. Judy looked up at them distractedly from her desk, jumping to her feet as she realized who it was.

"Carrots-" said the fox nervously. "I didn't mean- I overreacted."

She hopped down from her seat and walked up to the fox, her face expressionless.

He flinched from her gaze. "I just had to figure some stuff out. I shouldn't have taken it out on you." Cautiously, he looked at her as she stopped in front of him.

She grabbed his uniform collar and yanked him to eye level. "Don't ever do that to me again, you dumb fox." Her eyes were puffy and red. "We're partners."

"Hey, Fluff, I didn't know you cared-" he said, instinctively trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, you did," she interrupted him. "Don't try to pretend you didn't." Her voice choked a little. "You're not fooling anyone, sly fox."

For a long moment, they just looked into one another's eyes.

Until there was the sound of a throat being cleared. "So, as much as I'm enjoying the Impromptu Rookie Soap Opera, is there a reason you called me here other than to say 'awww' at the appropriate places?"

Nick felt his ears burning and hastily stepped back, even as Judy looked up in surprise at the human. "Oh, right!" She looked at Hunter. "Hands!"

The human looked down at the palms of his hands in confusion. "Huh?" Nick looked at them, too.

She pointed to the two other mammals. "Exactly!" She turned and hopped back up behind the desk where she had been sitting when they walked in.

Hunter looked at Nick in confusion. "Okay, does this make any sense to you?"

Nick smiled. "Just watch, oh wise mentor. She's on to something."

"Come here," she told them impatiently. Both of the other cops came around and looked at the computer.

"The email from Susslun? What about it?" Nick read it again.

To: Officer Z. Hunter

From: P. Susslun

Subject: I Need Help

Dear Mr. Hunter,

I can't say much. I don't know whether they can track this or not. They're after me, Mr. Hunter, and I'm scared. I don't know who I can turn to, other than the humans that have given me the first hope I've felt in years. Please, can you talk to me?

It wasn't supposed to be like this. The other Zootopians hate me, and even my friends turn away when I look to them. Every hand is raised against me.

Please. Terra for Terrans must be stopped.

P. Susslun

She used the mouse to highlight a phrase.

"Every hand is raised against me."

Nick stared. Then looked at Hunter, who looked down at his hands. Then at Nick and Judy's-

Paws.

Hunter's face darkened.

"Those sons of bitches. They played us."

Nick shook his head. "Who? Who played us, though?"

Judy spun to face them. "I don't know. But I think we should find out."

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Okay, let's think this through logically," said Hunter. "Only a human would make a mistake like that."

"Yeah, but- the whole point of this thing has been to get humans _off_ the planet," objected Wilde. "Why would your species want themselves expelled from Terra?"

The three cops considered this for a moment, before Hopps shook her head. "Let's take it from another angle. If Susslun wasn't being threatened by Terra for Terrans, who killed him?"

"Well, it probably wasn't personal- the use of a gun makes that unlikely. So- maybe he knew something?" said Wilde, thoughtfully.

Hunter nodded slowly. "And where would he have learned something worth killing him over?"

All three cops looked at one another. "The Church of the Fellowship of Terra," said Wilde. "A bunch of fanatics bent on achieving...human...dominance...no, that doesn't make sense either."

Hunter's eyes widened. "Yeah, actually it does." He stood up, paced around the room. "Have either of you heard the term 'false flag operation'?"

Wilde shook his head, but Hopps cocked hers. "Yeah, where one group does something acting like another, so they get the blame- wait, you're saying T4T is actually innocent? They were framed? But-"

"One of two reasons." Wilde had figured out where the human cop was going as well. "One-" he held up a finger "-someone wanted to discredit them so they didn't cause as much anti-human sentiment. Or two- they were planning on pinning something really big on them."

"So a human works with them to do one of those two things-" mused Hopps. "Which one is it, though?"

"Well, Susslun was killed for some reason- hey, out of curiosity, where did he work?" asked Hunter, thumbing through the homicide file. "A factory of some kind, right?"

"Yeah, it was a-" Hopps found it first. "A fertilizer factory." She sighed. "Not much help there, huh-" she frowned at Hunter's expression.

His eyes had widened. "A _fertilizer_ factory?" he squeaked.

Wilde and Hopps exchanged bemused looks. "So?" asked Wilde.

"Did they make ammonium nitrate?"

Hopps did a quick search. "Let's see...yeah, their website says they did."

Hunter was already typing on another computer. "And, hey, look at that, they reported a truck stolen a couple of weeks ago. Oh, this is great."

"Okay, Hunter, what's your point?" asked Wilde, slightly annoyed.

The veteran cop looked at them, shook his heads. "Wow, you guys really are pacifistic. You've never heard of a fertilizer bomb? ANFO?"

There was a pause. "I don't think not realizing you can make a bomb out of fertilizer makes us especially pacifistic," said Wilde dryly. "I think it makes humans especially scary."

"Look, this is all kind of tenuous, but trust me, it hangs together. Susslun may have been killed because he helped make a really big bomb, like can kill hundreds of mammals sort of big." Hunter shook his head. "And he had a human's help to do it, I'll bet."

Another thought occurred to him. "And not just any-" he stopped.

Both his partners waited, until finally Hopps prompted, "And not just any what?"

Hunter stood up. "Look, you guys did good work. What I'd suggest is turn all this over to your top investigators, especially the Bomb Squad, and let them handle the rest. The most important thing will be to find a target."

He pulled on his coat, shuffling slightly to set it more comfortably around his shoulders. "And stay out of trouble."

"Where are you going?" asked Wilde, suspiciously.

The human paused, but kept his back to them. "I've orders to go home, remember? I'm sure you two will be fine- just let the experts handle this."

Hopps and Wilde both shot to their feet. "What? You're just going to leave?" Hopps said angrily. "Just like that?"

There was a shrug from the taller cop. "Orders are orders, guys. I've never broken one in my life. Bent a few, but- this one is pretty explicit."

"Why won't you turn around and face us?" asked Wilde, his voice cold. "What's your deal, Hunter? What did you just realize?"

"Nick!" said Hopps, shocked.

"So long, rookies. Don't forget Rule One, okay?" Hunter opened the door and walked out.

He never looked back, but he didn't need to in order to know about the looks of betrayal on his partners' faces.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

They watched the hunched back of their friend walk away until the door swung back closed, then looked at one another.

"Nick, he did have orders-"

The fox sat back down. "He said look for the target. Let's focus on that."

"Nick."

The fox turned away from her. "He's a human, Judy. Maybe it was fun for him for a while, to pretend we were something other than adorable little talking animals, but it was time for him to go back to his own kind."

"He's not like that."

"He's gone, isn't he?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter's phone rang as he nodded good-bye to Clawhauser at the front desk. "Hunter," he answered.

"Hunter, this is Undersecretary Horne. Why the hell aren't you at the spaceport?"

"I had a bit of a delay. Just-" he paused. "Wrapping up a few loose ends."

"Oh, for Terra's sake. Do you have to make everything a trial? Look, I'm sending a skimmer to pick you up."

Hunter blinked. The military skimmers- advanced hovercraft that used some sort of anti-gravity mumbo-jumbo- were expensive as hell. "That's surprisingly helpful of you, sir."

"Don't think of it as me being helpful, Hunter. Think of it as me wanting you off this planet just as soon as possible. I'll send you the address where you can be picked up- there's a helicopter pad on a building not far from you." The line disconnected.

With a sigh, Hunter hailed a cab.

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So, what sort of 'target' are we looking for?" asked Judy.

"Something big, something to do with Human-Terran relations. Something where- whatever their goal- blowing up a bunch of mammals will make a big splash." Nick, who was searching news sites, shook his head. "That press conference we did not too long ago would have served just fine."

He was so involved in his search that he didn't notice his partner's sudden silence for a moment. Finally, he realized he could hear every click of his mouse. He looked up. "What's up, Fluff?"

She was on her own computer, and silently swiveled the monitor so he could see it. "I just remembered something about the mayor's comments that day, so I looked up a transcript." Nick gave her a puzzled look, then obediently read the mayor's remarks. His ears shot up as he looked at Judy. "The welcome ceremony for the new Human Ambassador." His eyes widened. "That's today. In fact, it's probably about to start now."

She was already hopping down from her seat. "Let's go."

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Interlude: First Landing, AlphaCen

Three cops stared through the one way glass at their suspect- Al Truscott, aka I. P. Freely.

Wu winced as he thought of that. He was not looking forward to testifying in court about that little fact.

His partner looked at him. "So what's the plan? You want me to go in there and growl at him?"

The chief, the third member of the trio, frowned at her. "You realize that's intimidation, right?"

She shrugged. "Sorry, chief."

"I'm thinking we deal him, chief," said Wu. "The DA's office is reviewing the case, seeing what we can offer him."

"I've got a deal for him," muttered Barker. "Talk, or I'll bite you."

Both other officers looked at her warily. "You weren't this violent when you started with us," said the chief.

"Must be from hanging around all you humans," she replied.

Wu's phone rang and he answered. After a few terse words, he hung up. "Okay, I've got a deal. Let's see if he bites."

"If he doesn,'t I wi-"

"Shut it, Barker."

oooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So we're willing to offer you leniency, but you need to tell us who you're working for."

Truscott sized up the two cops facing him. After a moment, he shook his head. "No deal."

The timber wolf cop looked at her partner. "What about now?"

The human ignored her, leaning forward. "You're going to be charged with the illegal exportation of firearms to a neutral nation-state, Truscott. That's life without parole at hard labor. Have you ever been to the Delta Pavonis Penal Colony? I hear it's cold this time of year."

"I hear it's cold every time of year," added his partner.

"We're willing to drop that to ten years for possession, plus you won't have to freeze your ass off while swinging a pick." He leaned back and Barker took up the dialogue.

"We've got you dead to rights, Truscott. You want to take this to trial, it'll be over so fast the 'oyez oyez' will still be ringing in your ears when they hand you your first pick at the penal colony."

For a long moment, Truscott considered this. Finally, he shook his head. "I want immunity."

"Immunity? Are you nuts? Just what could you tell us that would-"

He was interrupted by the former soldier. "Oh, I could tell you a lot, cop. I knew that I'd be the patsy if anything came out about this whole deal, so I made a few arrangements? I know names- not just the cut-out above me, but the one above him, and all the way up-" he gradually raised his hand, palm turned downward, above the table as he spoke until it was well above his head "- to the top."

The two cops exchanged looks. "What are you trying to say, Truscott?" asked Barker.

"You want names, cop? You get me immunity and I'll give you names, and places, and all the evidence you need to bust this whole thing wide open." Truscott sat back with a satisfied look on his face.

Once again, Barker and Wu looked at each other. "I'll have to talk to the DA's office again," said Wu. He stood up and Barker followed him.

Just before he left, Truscott said, "Hey, want something to make the DA a bit more interested? How about one quick tidbit?"

The two cops stopped. Wu looked back at their prisoner. "Go ahead."

"Don't know his first name, but he's someone important in government. Kinda chubby, pencil-pusher type. Says 'bureaucrat' all over him."

"Gosh, a bureaucrat in government, huh? We'll put out an APB."

Truscott scowled. "His name's Horne, with an 'e'." Truscott leaned back. "He's in charge of part of the operation, the part on the animal planet."

The two cops walked out.

As soon as the door closed, Wu whirled on the chief. "Did you hear that?"

The chief was on his phone, raised up one finger. "Yeah, two tickets. Right away. I don't care what it costs." He looked at his officer. "I heard it."

"Isn't there a guy named Horne in the Zootopian embassy?"

"Yeah." The chief hung up his phone. "Which is why I just booked you two tickets to Terra."

"Tickets?" The two cops looked at each other. "Why not just send an email?"

"Because the embassy controls communication, including the email servers. If we're going to send him a message, it's going to have to be in person."


	14. Chapter 14

The Nick of Time

Officer Scruggs, of Zootopia's small Bomb Squad, had just finished listening to the excited report of the two only rabbit and fox officers on the department. He was, perhaps, a bit more likely to take them seriously than most, as there were relatively few ocelots like him on the department either. His small size made him a natural for the Bomb Squad. "That's pretty tenuous," he commented.

"Does it hurt anything to check?" countered Hopps.

He sighed. "No, it never hurts to be careful. So you think we're looking for a truck?"

Wilde held out a print-out that he recognized as a vehicle registration slip. "Yeah, stolen several weeks ago."

The ocelot officer took it and glanced over it. "Okay. Well, look, keep in mind that if- _if_ there is a bomb, it will probably be rigged to be set off by a signal, like from a cell phone. Timers with glowing red numbers are just a movie thing."

The two newer officers looked at one another. "How do you stop that?" asked Wilde.

"Best way is, if possible, to rig up a Furaday cage-" at the blank looks on their faces he sighed. "Surround it with metal. Stops wireless communication from getting through."

"Around a whole truck?"

"Ah, that's where the second best solution comes in," said the ocelot, raising a finger.

"Which is?" asked Hopps.

"Be somewhere far away when the signal comes through."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter paced the top of the building, marked with a huge 'H' symbol.

He had received that email from the embassy. So it wasn't just any human who was helping with this plot.

It was someone high up enough to interfere with embassy communications.

Sometimes, hopefully not often, you get a sort of weird feeling when you keep following an investigation. A sort of sense that you're out of your depth, that maybe pushing things won't end up well for you.

That maybe, this was something over your pay grade.

Hunter had never been ambitious. He wanted to do his time, as comfortably as possible, then retire with a pension and sip margaritas on some beach far, far away from everyone else. To make sure of that goal, he had always avoided the pitfalls that he had seen catch other cops far too many times. The sort that saw them drummed out of the department.

He had a feeling this was the sort of thing where getting fired was the best possible outcome.

So why was he having such a hard time letting this go?

His phone buzzed. He glanced at it, saw that Hopps had texted him. Without checking the message, he put his phone back in the pocket.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Nick saw Judy, her head on a swivel, approaching. He held up a paw in greeting. "See anything?"

"No, and we must have walked all the way around the whole area," she said. "Maybe we did jump the gun a bit?"

The fox let out a breath. "Let's hope so. I'm still not sure what we're going to do with the bomb if we find it." He looked around. "Evacuation would be nearly impossible with this many mammals around."

The ceremony was being held in one of the largest plazas in the city, Tails Square. Not only was it large, but it was directly adjacent to the train station- Nick could see the sleek shape of yet another train pulling up even as he looked toward the tracks. Around him, mammals chattered and gawked, many talking on cell phones. The fox twitched every time a phone rang. He was starting to realize why members of the Bomb Squad were so nervous all the time.

Hopps shook her head. "There's no way they could get a truck in here. The only ones even sort of close are the media, and the Bomb Squad has checked them thoroughly." She pointed towards a cluster of news vans, where several wolves were- literally- sniffing around.

The two cops thought about it as they looked around. Suddenly, Judy frowned. "Since when do cargo trains come through Tails Square?"

Nick turned to look back at the train. Sure enough, instead of the sleek, aerodynamic shape of a passenger car, several of the cars had the boxy look of cargo containers. "Maybe they're just passing through?" he said uncertainly, and then realized the rabbit was already rushing off.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy dashed to the train, slowing as she approached the cargo section. Three cargo containers, all in the middle of the train. She remembered from farming at Bunnyburrow how, even on the rare occasions a passenger train carried cargo, it was generally either all at the front or the back of the train, never just stuck in the middle. It was the sort of thing you learn when you ship out carloads of carrots.

With a hop, she was able to grab the handle of the nearest cargo car's doors. Behind her, she could hear Nick panting as he caught up. She looked down at him. "Help me open this thing."

He looked at the heavy metal door. "I doubt I can. Aren't those things automatic?"

As if responding to his words, the door suddenly shuddered and started to open.

Judy let go of the door as it slid open, but immediately hopped up again and pulled herself up to look inside. Beside her, Nick was doing the same thing.

Both cops gaped as they saw the neatly stacked barrels and sacks. Wiring ran through the whole thing.

"Well," said Nick, gulping. "Looks like we found our bomb."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter sighed as, finally, the military skimmer settled for a landing. He jumped on board. "Took you long enough."

The marine flying it looked at him, expressionless behind his masked helmet. "Officer Hunter."

"Should I ask permission to come aboard?" Hunter paused, glancing at the marine's sidearm holstered at his side. "Should you be carrying that? I mean, we're not at the embassy."

"I have orders," said the marine.

Hunter sighed. "Yeah, so do I." He settled into the rear seat. "Let's go."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Okay, don't panic, we got this," muttered Judy nervously.

"Do we, really?" responded the fox. "Because if you have a plan this would be a good time to tell me."

"Look, what did Scruggs say?"

"Be far away from the bomb, I remember that part. I'm remembering that part _really_ well right now."

"No, I mean about- the Furaday cage. We just need to put some sort of metal box around it, so they can't set it off!"

"Hey, Carrots, it's already in a metal box, that's probably why they...opened...the...doors." Nick stopped.

"I was wondering how long it was going to take you two to figure that out," said a deep voice behind them. "Turn around- very slowly, if you don't mind."

They turned. "Father Richard," said Nick. "I see you have a gun."

The lion from the Church of the Fellowship of Terra nodded and held up another device in his paw. "And a detonator. And while I would prefer to be well out of the blast radius before I set this thing off and start the new era of life with our true masters, my faith is strong enough that I am willing to accept death to carry out my mission. So please, step off the train."

Judy looked at the lion, her expression hard. "So you killed Susslun."

"A pity, no doubt, but necessary. You see, Brother Susslun was very useful, but not the strongest in the faith. He helped us get the ingredients for this device, the plans provided by our lords above-" his face took on a reverent aspect "- and stole a truck to transport it. But his usefulness had come to an end, and he knew far too much to be allowed his weak resolve to be tested. One of my- more predatory- congregants did the actual job, of course. Very quick, very aggressive, cheetahs." He gestured with the gun again, his face becoming harder. "Step out of the train. I'm not going to tell you again."

Nick hesitated, remembering something he had been told some time ago.

 _A real bad guy doesn't tell you his master plan before he kills you. He just kills you._

Why had the lion not just shot them and been done with it?

Because they were standing in front of a _bomb._ For all the resolve and dedication the lion had claimed, he wasn't as ready to risk martyrdom as he said. Maybe it was just a bit of hesitation, but it was there.

Nick took a step towards the door- towards the lion. "Well, you're right. You got us. Think you can give us enough time to get away at least?"

Judy shot him a look. "Nick?"

Father Richard relaxed, very slightly. "Why, of course, officer. The least I can-"

Nick moved.

With a lunge he plowed into the larger mammal, shoving him towards the open door. Both the detonator and gun flew from the lion's paws as he hit the ground and rolled. Nick barely caught himself on the door. He whipped around to face Judy. "Find the door controls! Shut the door!"

The rabbit didn't hesitate. She spotted the automatic door controls and, using her full weight, yanked down the lever.

Richard had recovered, slightly as both cops leapt from the closing doors. He scrambled for the detonator.

Judy leaped, slamming her hind-paws into his mouth and sending the lion tumbling.

He rolled, and came up with something in his paw.

The detonator.

With a triumphant look, he squeezed the trigger.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After a moment, it became clear nothing was going to happen. All three mammals looked at the cargo train.

The closed doors of the cargo train. Encased in a metal box.

The lion snarled and took a step forward-

"Don't move, fleabag."

Nick stepped forward, holding the gun he had recovered on the lion, who froze and then, slowly, raised his paws.

"On the ground. Cuff him, Carrots."

The lion snarled as he felt the handcuffs secured around his wrists. "This isn't over, you foolish apostates! Did you think the detonator was the only way to set off the bomb?"

Nick and Judy paused, looked at each other. The lion laughed. "You'll never evacuate in time, and the Human Ambassador will soon arrive. He'll die, and the righteous fire of our true lords will sweep this sinful planet! Don't you understand? There's a timer on the bomb! The vengeance of the humans will be-erk!"

Nick had brought down the gun on the lion's head, who collapsed. "Okay, now what?"

Judy was already in motion. "If we can't get the mammals away from the bomb, then we take the bomb away from the mammals," she shouted over her shoulder.

He shook his head as he hurried to catch up. "What is it about you and trains, Carrots?" he said under his breath.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter's phone buzzed again. He sighed, decided he could at least check the message.

There were several messages from Hopps. "Going to look for bomb at Ambassador's Welcoming Ceremony," he read, his eyebrows raising. He read further. "Found bomb, need help? The hell?"

He froze at the last message. "Bomb on train. Taking train away from city. How disarm bomb?"

"What."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Are you really texting? I mean, seriously?"

Nick watched the track ahead anxiously, remembering the last time they had been on a fast-moving train. Fortunately, there didn't seem to be anything on the track ahead.

So all he had to worry about was the _gigantic_ bomb on the train with them. Simple.

"Maybe Hunter can think of something," she said. "Bomb squad is still waiting to get back to me. At least they cleared the tracks ahead."

Nick let out a breath as the train cleared the last major suburb. At least now the bomb wouldn't kill too many. When it went off. You know, just the two idiot mammals driving the train. "How long do we have?"

She shrugged. "Who knows?"

Her phone rang.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter unbuckled his seat belt and walked, hunched slightly in the tight confines of the skimmer, towards the pilot seat. "Change of plans," he said. "We need to intercept that train." He held up his cell phone, which was showing live coverage of the train with Wilde and Hopps on it.

The pilot looked at him, and even with the full helmet Hunter could feel his disbelief. "My orders are to fly you to the embassy, not to go trying to catch a runaway train."

"Look, my partners are on that train-"

"I don't care!"

Hunter glared at the pilot. "Look me in the eyes, hotshot. If you don't turn this skimmer around and fly to the damn train, I'll-"

The pilot's face was right up against his. "You'll what, cop? In case you didn't notice, I've got the gun, so-" there was a pause.

Both of the men looked down.

The pilot stared at his empty holster, then at the gun Hunter had taken from him and was now holding to his stomach. Hunter grinned, slightly. "Rookie mistake.

"Rule Six. Watch the hands. Hands are what hold weapons. Hands are what can kill you."

He gestured with the gun. "Let's go."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy got off the phone, her ears down. "They found some texts on Richard's phone when they picked him up. The bomb is set to go off in less than three minutes."

Nick goggled. "We need to get off this train."

"No kidding. Okay, we'll slow it down enough that we can jump off-"

"And then the bomb goes off and kills us." Nick shook his head. "No." He took a deep breath. "I'll stay on the train, slow it down so you can jump off, then speed it up again. Hopefully that will give put enough distance between us to-"

"What?" Judy stared at her friend. "No!"

"We don't have time to-"

She took a step forward, paws on her hips. "Listen to me, fox. I. Am. Not. Losing. You. Again." She squeezed her eyes shut.

"Judy-"

"If we have to die, we die together. Always together, you got that, you dumb fox?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Come on, come on, get closer!" shouted Hunter, leaning out of the skimmer side door.

"You realize that thing has a _bomb_ on it?" shouted the marine.

"Yeah, who would have known joining the star marines would have put you in _danger_ , huh? Get this thing on top of that train or you'll wish you were just dealing with a bomb!"

Muttering, the pilot swung the skimmer closer. There was a thump and Hunter's stomach did some very unpleasant things as he suddenly found the driver's compartment of the train below him. He checked to ensure the strap holding him to the skimmer was still attached, and hopped down to the train.

Okay, now what?

There, a hatch. He leaned over, willing his hands not to shake as he pulled the handle. With a powerful heave, he yanked the hatch open and stuck his head through.

To see a fox and a rabbit in a tight embrace. He shook his head. "Hey!"

Their eyes turned to him in shock.

"Don't just stand there mooning at each other, come on!"

Nick didn't hesitate, grabbing the rabbit- who squeaked in protest- and handing her to Hunter, who hauled her up and tossed her into the skimmer. He reached back down and repeated the process with Nick.

Jumping back into the skimmer, he slammed his hand on the back of the pilot's seat. "Go, go, go!"

The pilot was clearly not keen to hang around. With a lurch, the skimmer shot forward and up. The pilot put the flyer into a hard bank.

Judy and Nick stared at their friend. "How-?" began the fox.

"Did you ever wonder if I was really that good? Now you know." He looked back at the train, still shooting onward over open plains. "Any idea how lon-"

The train suddenly disappeared in a cloud of smoke. "Oh, shit! Hang on!"

The skimmer shook violently as the shockwave hit. Hunter felt himself thrown forward, and barely had time to see the hard metal side of the aircraft coming towards him before-

Black.


	15. Chapter 15

Hunter's Rules

He woke up, slowly, half-expecting to see white walls, smell antiseptics. Instead-

Concrete walls. Stacks of crates on pallets. A warehouse?

"Where are we?"

"Ah, he's awake," said a voice. Hunter's eyes narrowed as he recognized the voice. Narrowed further as he realized his hands were pinioned behind his back.

"Horne. What the hell are you doing?"

"What am I doing?" The pudgy bureaucrat suddenly appeared, walking around from behind him. "The real question is, what the hell are you doing, Hunter?" He stopped, shaking his head at the cop.

Hunter sighed as he put the pieces together. "No wonder the flyer pilot was armed."

"Yes, we thought you might make trouble, though not to this extent. You know, he wasn't even a star marine? You just can't find good help these days." Horne shook his head. "Which brings us to you."

"Yeah, I'm not much one for helping," said Hunter.

"No, not at all. Bring them in," Horne said, addressing someone else behind him. A moment later, two men wearing plain black fatigues walked into Hunter's view, carrying Hopps and Wilde. Both mammals were tied paw and foot. "Mr. Hunter, you and your-" Horne's face curled into a sneer "-colleagues have delayed an operation literally years in the making."

"Hold up, I know this one," said Hunter. "The return of human dominion to Terra."

Horne's eyes widened. "They said you were smart. Apparently not smart enough to keep your head down, but- you're not surprised to see me at all, are you, Hunter?"

"Well, let's see, I demand answers from the MSI and the only thing I get- besides a lot of chaff- is an email that turns out to have been faked. You're clearly not here because you like this place- despite the fact that you're supposed to be a diplomat. And when I thought back on what you said before, it looked pretty clear to me what your motives might be."

"To bring humanity back to their ancient homeworld, Hunter," said Horne, his eyes glittering. "To sweep the refuse of a failed experiment-" he looked at Hopps and Wilde contemptuously "-away and return humanity to our former glory. It used to be called the Terran Stars, Hunter, not merely the _Human_ Stars. Those animals we used as patsies chanted Terra for Terrans, when the entire time the true Terrans were us." He shook his head in disgust.

Hunter yawned theatrically. "Okay, so you haven't killed me yet. That means you want something from me." He looked at Horne. "So shoot." He winced. "I mean, talk."

The bureaucrat looked pleased at Hunter. "Simple enough. We need to clean up this operation, so we can start planning the next one. For some-" he nodded towards Hopps and Wilde, who gave him angry looks "-that's easy enough. Two bullets and an unmarked grave. But disappearing a cop- a real cop, a human cop- that could cause questions, investigations, and so on. We can do it- but why take the risk?" He looked at Hunter. "So what's your price, Hunter? You want to retire early? Maybe have a nice beach house somewhere so you can sip margaritas?"

He chuckled at Hunter's surprise. "I know a lot about you, Hunter. You made it necessary. My organization may not be strictly, hm, official or legal, but we have many friends very high up. So all you have to do is quietly go home, and we'll make all the arrangements. Have a nice, quiet life. Simple enough?"

Hunter looked at his friends, who were both watching him carefully. "Okay, sure."

"What?" shouted Hopps and Wilde.

The bureaucrat cocked his head. "It couldn't have been that easy for you."

"Oh, come on." Hunter shrugged as best he could with his hands cuffed. "You're right, Horne. I spent my own career looking out for one person- me. These two- they're adorable little talking animals. Not all that important, next to the prospect of a bullet and an unmarked grave. Hell, even if they were real people, it's only been a couple months since I met them."

Hopps shook her head in horror, but Wilde just looked resigned. "Told you, Carrots," he said bitterly.

"And all that stuff you told me at the embassy?"

"What, about Susslun?" Hunter shook his head. "I just wanted to get a good homicide case under my belt. That one was perfect. Even if I screwed it up- well, he was just a pig. If I had to sound all noble and dedicated to get what I wanted, well so be it."

Horne rubbed his chin thoughtfully. Then, he grinned and nodded to one of his goons who stepped up and uncuffed the cop. Hunter stood up, rubbing his wrists. "Good decision, Hunter."

"I'm good at making those."

Horne watched him for a minute. "Prove it."

Hunter looked at him warily. "What?"

Once again, the diplomat nodded to a goon, who handed a gun to Hunter. Hunter took it, looked at Horne quizzically. "You're giving me a gun? Trust me that much already?"

"There's three guns pointed at you right now, Hunter." The cop had already counted, but it was good to know there weren't anymore that he couldn't see. "And that gun he just handed you is just a little 5mm peashooter. The body armor we're wearing would shrug it off as if it didn't exist."

"So-"

Horne nodded to the rabbit and the fox. "Like I said. Prove it." He smiled. "Shoot them. In the head, unless you want them to suffer." He shrugged. "Extra points if they do."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter looked at him, looked back at Hopps and Wilde. With a sigh, he took a step forward. He glanced back, eyes moving over the three mercenaries who had him covered. Noted their relaxed stance. He was just an old, broken-down cop, their posture stated. Hardly a risk- not with three guns on him. Hunter took another step forward and raised the gun.

In his mind, he thought reaction times.

In the movies, pointing a gun at someone controlled them. For the most part, there was truth to that- someone with a gun on them tended to follow orders. But the reaction time to make a decision to fire and then fire was fractionally less than that required to fire _after_ you already made the decision to fire. That's why the classic "Mexican standoff" generally never really worked- the first one to decide to shoot would win- assuming their aim was good.

Hunter glanced around, settling each of the positions of the mercenaries in his mind. One to his left, two to his right. They were keeping him at the apex of a V, to avoid crossfire. But one of the ones on the right-

He took one final step forward as he aimed the gun at Hopps.

Hopps stared at the gun pointed at her head, her eyes wide, unbelieving. "Zach-" She stopped as she saw the cold calculation in his eyes. Part of his mind flinched at that. Most of it was just running the calculations, though. Angles, reaction times-

"I hear you have rules, Hunter. Very proud of your rules, I hear." The bureaucrat's voice was amused. "Hunter's rules. Would you like to hear the real hunter's rules? It goes like this. There are sheep, and there are wolves. If you're not a wolf, you're a sheep. Humans are wolves, Hunter. We've clawed and snarled our way across the stars over millenia, despite everything set against us. These animals have lived on our homeworld, on the ruins of our civilization, and it's just, well, time to take it back. So prove to me you're a wolf, Hunter. Are your teeth the blunt ones of a sheep- or the sharp ones of a wolf? Show me, Hunter. Kill the rabbit."

Hunter still hesitated. He flicked his eyes side to side, checking his peripheral vision. He needed some kind of distraction. Just for one of the mercs to be off-target, for just a moment-

"Oh, for Terra's sake. Show him how it's done," said Horne angrily to one of his henchman.

The mercenary on Hunter's left raised his gun and fired at Wilde. The fox spun around and staggered before falling.

Part of Hunter's brain screamed in fear and rage. The part in control, though, just noted that now he had his distraction.

"Nick!" screamed Hopps.

Even as the shot was fired, Hunter had twisted around. The first merc to his left had just fired at the fox, so his gun was now off Hunter. The one behind him, due to Hunter's movements a minute ago, was now blocking the third's shot. Hunter snapped up the tiny weapon and fired a round into the eye of the closest merc to his right before he could react and pull the trigger of the gun he held on Hunter. No body armor on the head, of course. He coldly marked that as a kill.

As the merc started falling, Hunter spun and put two rounds into the face of the merc who had just shot Nick. Kill number two. He rapidly sidestepped, hearing- finally- the first round being fired by the remaining mercenary.

He whipped around again and finished off the third mercenary, who was moving to get a clear shot around the falling body of his comrade. Two rounds in the eyes. Last threat neutralized.

Nick hit the floor.

The only sound was the near-simultaneous thumping of the three mercenaries' bodies as they crumpled to the ground.

Hunter turned towards Horne, weapon raised. "Hands up." His voice was cold.

Behind him, he could hear Hopps sobbing Nick's name. His already grim face set more firmly.

Horne stared, his jaw dropped, his eyes darting across the corpses of his henchmen. "How- no one can-"

"I've been shot a lot," said Hunter, moving towards Horne. "You get shot enough times, you learn how not to." He took another step forward, a cold smile forming. 'It's something you need to learn when you hunt predators. Hunting sheep is _easy,_ Horne."

The bureaucrat backed up, nervously. "Look, Hunter, you can't- you can't arrest me. I've got diplomatic immunity." He squeaked as Hunter's hand gripped his neck. "There are channels-"

"Sheep or wolves, you said?" Hunter shook the bureaucrat. "You're not acting much like a wolf to me, Horne."

"Hunter, let go of me!"

"You want to see a wolf, with your smarmy little speeches and tough guy bullshit?" Hunter's voice rose. "You want to see the wolf, Horne? You want me to show you how sharp _my_ teeth are?" He grinned, showing him a predator's smile.

A hunter's smile.

He shoved Horne to his knees and raised the gun to Horne's temple.

"Zach," said a weak voice.

He stopped. "Nick?" He looked back at the fox.

Wilde was staring at him. Hopps was staring at him.

Both looked-

Afraid.

Afraid of him.

He turned back to Horne, who was shivering with his eyes closed on his knees. "Just look away, rookies. You don't have to see this."

"You don't have to do this," said Hopps, her voice trembling. "You can't do this."

"You heard him. He's right, diplomatic immunity. We can't arrest him. He'll walk." Hunter shoved the gun against Horne's head, the chubby man's eyes widening further. "Shot in self-defense. No jury in the world would convict."

"Rule Fifteen."

His head snapped around to look at Wilde. "What?"

"Rule Fifteen." The fox's voice was full of pain, but firm. "We're the good guys. Act like it."

Hunter hesitated.

"It's not that you have sharp teeth, Hunter. It's what you do with them that matters."

Hunter put took the slack out of the trigger, started to apply more pressure-

Then let out a sigh and indexed his finger, removing it from the trigger guard.

He lowered the gun. "Give me your cell phone," he said to Horne.

"What?" Horne blanched at Hunter's look. "Right, right, sure thing."

Hunter dialed a number. "This is Officer Hunter, ZPD. I need an ambulance, right away- address is-" he looked at Horne.

"Four Twenty Seven Gardenwood."

Hunter repeated the address. "Roll me some back up, too." He looked at Nick, who had lost consciousness. "We've got an officer down."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter walked into the hospital, flashed his ID as a nurse held up a paw to stop him. "ZPD," he said, not breaking his stride.

Until he found himself outside the trauma surgery unit and saw a forlorn rabbit perched on a chair.

He walked up. "Hey, Judy," he said gently.

She gave him a quick glance. "Hey, Zach."

"How is he?"

She shook her head. "They're doing what they can, but the bullet-" she hesitated slightly over the still-unfamiliar term "-fragmented. He's been in surgery for an hour and-" she couldn't go on, burying her face in her paws.

Hunter pulled a chair up next to her and rest a hand on her back. "Judy-"

"They say he's not going to make it. Oh, not to me, not directly, they're too _sensitive_ for that, but- I overheard them talking-"

"Judy."

She turned to face him, eyes full of tears. "I love him, Zach, I can't lose him!"

He felt his own eyes water. "Judy, I'm sorry, but- you can't save everyone-"

"You can at least try! Don't tell me you don't care!"

He turned away. "I care, honey. But there's nothing we can do, except wait and hope." He squeezed her shoulder, carefully to avoid hurting her. "I'm here for you, no matter what."

She sighed in dejection. After a moment, she looked at him cautiously. "Back there in the warehouse- you never- did you even consider-"

He looked her in the eyes. "Not for a minute, Judy. Friends don't shoot friends. I'd make it one of my rules, but it seemed kind of obvious."

She searched his face. "It's just that- you went all, I don't know, cold-"

"Judy, I was getting ready to take four lives. And to be honest, I didn't expect to get them all without getting shot, too. I figured I'd be trying to take at least one of them while bleeding out." Hunter remembered how he felt, the calculations spinning through his head. "I didn't have the luxury of feeling frightened or angry. I had to turn- things off. Things in my head. Part of me. It's not-" he looked away, not able to look her in the eyes anymore. "It's not something I'm proud of being able to do." His voice hoarsened slightly. "It's not something I wanted you to see."

He felt a small paw grip his hand. "It's okay, Hunter. I'm not afraid of you. I know you're my friend."

He let out a breath. "Thanks, Judy."

For a long moment they sat quietly.

"This is the same place you went when you got shot," said Judy, a strange tone in her voice.

Hunter frowned, but nodded. "Yeah, I guess it is."

"I remember he and I sitting here, when he saw that human doctor come in. He was so tired- and drunk- that he didn't even realize why the doctor was carrying blood with him-"

She stopped. Her eyes met Hunter's with dawning realization.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Where's the patient?" said the doctor impatiently, walking through the door.

"Through here," said Hunter as he pulled open the door to the surgery. The doctor stopped as he walked through the door.

"That's a fox."

"Wow, it's like you went to medical school or something. Or were you just saying the patient was attractive?"

The doctor glared at him. "What the hell am I supposed to do with a fox?"

"I don't know, maybe try to heal him? It's a crazy idea, but it might just work."

The doctor frowned at him. "Look, the nanites we use are meant for humans, not for-"

"Can you make it work?" Confused, the doctor looked down to see a very determined looking bunny rabbit. Which was a phrase he had never, ever thought before.

The doctor hesitated, looking between the two cops. Both had identical looks of determination- and pleading.

The human looked away, rubbed his face. "I'm sorry, doc- but he's our friend."

The rabbit continued to look at him. "Please."

After a moment, he sighed. "I'll do my best, but- you can't save everybody."

The human looked down at the rabbit. "But you can at least try," said Hunter.


	16. Chapter 16

Loose Ends

Hunter and Judy stood outside the ZPD station. "How's Nick?"

Judy smiled. "They say he's going to make it. He should be up and about- though probably a bit sore- by next week."

The older cop winced. "Next week? The damage must have been pretty bad."

"He's going to be weak for a while, but-" she turned away to hide her tears.

Hunter patted her head fondly. "Rookies. So emotional."

"Hey, I heard you crying while we were waiting for the doctor."

"Lies. Cops don't cry, especially big, tough ones like me."

"Suuure."

As they started to walk in, they heard running steps and a voice shout, "There he is! Hunter!"

Hunter spun around just in time to grab the man running towards him and throw him against the wall, shoving his arm in his throat. He drew his fist back for a punch- then paused. "Wu? What the hell are you doing here?"

Wu's eyes were wide. "Geeze, Hunter, a little on edge, are you?" he croaked.

"Let go of my partner," said a firm voice behind him. He turned to see a timber wolf pointing a stun dart gun at him. Hunter let go of Wu, who sagged slightly and reached to massage his throat.

"Sorry, it's just that people keep trying to kill me recently," apologized Hunter.

The wolf lowered the stun gun. "Well, maybe you should be a little more careful- after all, I got the drop on you."

Hunter quirked an eyebrow at her, then lowered his gaze to a point behind her. She frowned and turned to see Hopps holstering her own stun gun. "I've got friends to watch my back," said Hunter. He turned back to Wu. "So what are you doing here?"

"Well, the chief sent me to warn you- we traced the source of the guns, and a suspect fingered Horne as the guy in charge of-" he raised his fingers and made air quotes"-'the Zootopian branch of the operation.'"

"Yeah, I kinda figured that out when he kidnapped me. When you going to go arrest him?"

"We can't, Hunter," said the timber wolf. "We can't arrest him for crimes committed on Terra because it's out of our jurisdiction, and you can't because he has diplomatic immunity."

"So arrest him for the gun-running."

"We would if we could." Wu shrugged helplessly. "We might be able to make a case once our guys back on AlphaCen run down the leads our suspect back there gave us, but for now- just his word. Not enough to arrest Horne."

Hunter grimaced. "So he's just going to get PNG'd back to AlphaCen? He'll disappear before we can formally charge him."

"PNG'd?" asked Hopps.

"Persona non grata- it's the fancy term for diplomatic expulsion," explained Wu. "He'll be leaving tomorrow."

Hunter snapped his fingers. "What about the guns we recovered? If we can trace them to all to your informant, that should be enough corroboration for a warrant."

"We thought of that," said Wu. "Seems they've all gone missing."

"What?"

He sighed. "All the guns recovered were given to the embassy for tests and tracing- it's not like there's a ballistics lab on Terra. And someone apparently 'misfiled' them."

Hunter looked at Hopps. "Didn't Wilde have a gun he took off the lion?"

She shook her head. "Left it on the train. In a million pieces by now."

Hunter sighed. "This job sucks, sometimes."

Wu and Barker shrugged in unison. "You're just now figuring that out?" said the wolf.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter and Hopps were sitting in the car, Hunter driving- he had finally, belatedly, been allowed to drive. Figures his license came through at the same time he was supposed to leave the planet. Beside him, Hopps scanned a list of something. Hunter looked at her curiously.

"What have you got there, Hopps?"

"It's the list of known Church of the Fellowship of Terra worshippers under Father Richard's branch of the organization," she said absently. "He mentioned that he had one of them kill Susslun. Said it was a cheetah."

"How many cheetahs on the list?"

"Still looking. Wait a minute." There was a pause. "I know this name. Jason Chester."

Hunter frowned. "Doesn't ring a bell."

Hopps dove into her duty bag and came out with a file folder. She started flipping through it. "I know I've seen it-"

The older cop cast her a look. "Is that- do you really keep copies of every booking form you do? Isn't that a bit, I don't know, OCD?"

"Doesn't seem so obsessive-compulsive at a time like this, does it?"

"Yeah, actually, yeah it does. Exactly at a time like this."

"Aha!"

She held up one of the forms. "Jason Chester. Arrested for evading arrest, assault on police, and-" she pointed to a line on the form "-double parking."

Hunter looked at the form. "Oh, Clawey McClawface."

She gave him a flat look. "Jason Chester."

He shrugged. "I just thought of him as Clawey McClawface." He frowned. "But wouldn't he have been in jail at the time of the killing?"

Hopps was now checking the records on the computer. She shook her head. "Nope, he was bonded out by- well, look at that. Richard Coer." She looked at Hunter. "Aka Father Richard."

Hunter considered this. "You know, I remember when you first approached that cheetah, all my instincts were screaming that he was armed. The movements to his waistband, the way he looked around for witnesses and escape routes."

Hopps was nodding. "He kept holding one paw in front of his waistband when I was chasing him, too. I didn't even realize what that might have meant."

"And he had no real reason to be running," added Hunter. "I mean, if he wasn't holding, why'd he run? No outstanding warrants, nothing."

"I wonder." Hopps tapped her pen on her chin. "He must have ditched whatever he had when I was chasing him. I wonder if it might still be there. He could have always gotten a new one from Father Richard."

Hunter was already turning the car.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Two officers led the cuffed cheetah into the interrogation room. The cheetah was protesting vigorously.

"You can't do this to me! My court appearance isn't until two months from now!"

They set him down in the chair, and Chester froze as he saw the two cops that just walked in. "I remember you! The specist human!"

Hunter rolled his eyes as he sat down. "I remember you, too, Clawey McClawface."

"Chester," corrected Hopps.

"Whatever." Hunter shrugged. "So we've got a few questions for you."

"I ain't saying nothing-"

He was cut off by Hopps, who slammed down a corroded pistol in an evidence bag on the table. "Found this behind the dumpster you jumped over when I chased you, Chester. Care to comment?"

The cheetah looked at the gun, looked at the two cops. "Hey, what's that thing? Never seen anything like that in my life, no, sir."

Hunter and Hopps rolled their eyes at one another at the obvious lie. "Come on, Chester. We know you had the gun, we even know why you had the gun."

"Oh, yeah? What evidence you got?" demanded Chester.

Hunter grinned inwardly. _Got him._ "We've got the gun from behind the dumpster."

Crooks responded in many different ways to being interrogated. One of the more common ways to demand to know your evidence, then to counter each individual fact with a varying interpretation. It was extremely useful, especially when they weren't as smart as they thought they were.

"Could have been left there by anyone."

"Father Richard bailed you out of jail," said Hopps.

"He's a good mammal. Looks after us."

"He said a cheetah was the shooter in Susslun's death."

"I'm the only cheetah in the city?"

"And the weapon used in the shooting was a 9mm, the same as this gun."

"No, that's an 11mm, not a 9mm," said Chester triumphantly. "And-"

He stopped as both the officers looked at him, then at one another. Hopps picked up the gun. "Oh, gosh, that may in fact be an 11mm. I wonder how you knew that, Chester? Having never seen this gun before? Having not even recognized what it was?"

"It was- it's written on the evidence bag-" stammered the cheetah.

Hopps turned the bag to face him, where 9mm was clearly written. "Silly us. Must have labeled it wrong by mistake." She looked at Chester. "Good thing you were here to put us straight."

"I wonder what else Chester could put us straight on," mused Hunter. He stared at the cheetah. "You run pretty fast, cheetah.

"Think you can talk fast enough to keep your head out of the noose?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Horne glared at the two star marine standing next to him as he walked towards the flyer on the embassy grounds. They were there "for his protection" but based on the looks they were giving him, he figured he could have done without.

Until he saw the two figures that walked out from behind the skimmer. "You!" he shouted at Hunter. "Stay away from me! Don't let him near me!"

Hunter glanced at the marines. "Don't mind me. Just wanted to see Mr. Horne here off."

The two soldier glanced at one another, then one spoke to Hunter. "Keep your distance, please, sir."

He held up his hands in a gesture of submission. "Not a problem." He looked at Horne. "So you think you've gotten away with this, huh?"

Seeing the two marines step in between them had revived Horne's courage a bit. "Oh, you think you can just come here and gloat, do you? This isn't even partially over, Hunter. Just wait until you get back to Terra. I have _many_ friends, many of whom would love to meet you. They'll be making a special effort to do so." He sneered the last words.

The talking rabbit freak next to him looked at him expressionlessly. "That sounds like a threat, Mr. Horne."

He rolled his eyes at her. "I know the law, little bunny rabbit. You can't arrest me- Zootopia PD has no jurisdiction here."

Hunter sighed. "Nope, we don't." He then pointed. "But they do."

Horne twisted around to see another human cop and yet another of the freaks, this one a timber wolf. "What the hell do you want?"

The timber wolf stepped forward. "Officer Ruth Barker, First Landing Police Department. Mr. Horne, you are under arrest for the illegal exportation of firearms to a neutral nation-state. You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney-"

"This is ridiculous!" shouted Horne. "What evidence-" he stopped as Hunter held up a bag.

"Lot number matches one provided by an informant," said Horne cheerfully. "That's corroboration. Good enough to hold you on." He looked at Barker. "How's Delta Pavonis Penal Colony this time of year?"

"Cold," she said, smiling at Horne, who flinched back at the display of teeth.


	17. Chapter 17

On a Scale of One to Ten, Purple

"Ten-hut!"

With a loud snap, the assembled officers came to attention. Chief Bogo looked over them with a critical eye as he walked to the center of the stage. "Officers Hopps and Wilde, front and center!" He barked.

Moving with smooth precision, the two named police officers marched onto the stage. Snappily, they saluted.

Bogo returned their salute. "For bravery above and beyond the call of duty, not to say common sense," he added in a lower tone, almost to himself, "you are hereby awarded the Medal of Valor." He stepped forward and pinned the Medal to each officer's uniform. "May you wear it with honorable pride." He stepped back and once again the officers saluted as the assembly burst out into applause.

Judy scanned the crowd, her heart fit to burst with pride. She smiled at her parents as they waved. Smiled at Clawhauser who was actually crying tears of joy. She smiled at all her friends in the department.

Where was he?

Then she thought about who she was talking about, and looked further back. Sure enough, standing in an inconspicious spot, she saw him, bringing his hands together. She saw him wipe away a tear and grinned.

Beside her, Nick gave her a nudge. "Did you see that?"

"Yep," she said out of the corner of her mouth. "We can't let him forget it, either."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After the ceremony, Hunter paced beside the chief of FLPD. "So how'd I do, boss?"

The chief gave him a flat look. "Well, let's see. You've been in multiple shootings, mistakenly charged a virulently anti-Terran group's leader who will now be even more intransigently against us, were involved in a train bombing, and arrested an upper-ranking diplomat. Not to mention uncovered a criminal conspiracy that has a good chance of bringing down the current administration."

"So, on a scale of one to ten, that would be a-"

"There is no scale for this kind of thing, Hunter. Not even _logarithmic_ ones. On a scale of one to ten, this is purple. I mean, what happened? You were so laid-back that one of your supervisors thought you had quit for a year because he never heard from you." The chief shook his head. "Did you not even listen to the whole active/lazy and smart/stupid thing? I spent an hour thinking up that speech."

Hunter shrugged. "Hell, chief. I dunno. I guess I just sort of remembered why it was worth it to be a cop."

The chief looked at him. "You used to say that it was because of the pay and benefits."

The other cop shrugged again, but the chief was curious now.

"So why's it worth it?"

From around a corner, a fox and a rabbit walked and grinned when they saw Hunter. Both quickened their pace and the rabbit actually hopped up to hug Hunter around the neck. Hunter got a panicked look in his eye as he saw the chief start grinning. "Hey, easy, Hopps!" The fox came up and shook Hunter's hand and they smiled at one another.

The chief saw them all together and grinned. "Ah, okay."

He paused and watched the three chat for a moment, before he cleared his throat and got their attention again.

The chief was still grinning. "So, I've decided to cut short your stay here, if you want."

Wilde and Hopps both stopped and stared.

"You can just go back home. I'll have another officer here directly- maybe I'll use Wu."

Hunter scratched the back of his neck. "Well, you did say I could have any assignment I wanted if I did this, chief."

"That's right, I did say that," the chief said, snapping his fingers as if remembering. "So where do you want to go? There's a nice soft patrol division in East Central. Nothing ever happens there. I'm pretty sure some of my officers there haven't stayed awake for more than twenty minutes of any shift for their entire career."

"Well," Hunter avoided everyone's eyes. "In fact, you know, it's kinda quiet here most of the time. So if it's all the same to you-"

The chief raised his eyebrows in apparent shock. "Hunter. Are you telling me you _want_ to stay here?"

"Well," he looked at Wilde and Hopps, who were both smiling broadly at him. "Yeah. It turns out- I kinda like it here."

"You don't want to be back with your own kind?"

Hunter looked at his badge, looked at the badges Hopps and Wilde wore. "You know, chief, I I already am."

The chief rubbed his chin. "Well, I suppose I could make that happen-"

"Now wait a minute, you promised-"

"Well, that was if you did the whole year. But, you can stay on one condition."

Hunter frowned at him suspiciously. "What?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter surveyed the classroom and sighed. "Welcome to the Diversity Training Class," he said, sourly. "First slide. Diversity and you-" he stopped.

"You know what, screw the slides. Here's the deal.

"Everyone's different. Different beliefs, customs, language, skin color- even, in the case of Terra's mammals, number of tails and furriness of ears. But you know what they are?" He stabbed his finger at the assembled cops.

"People. Some of them are jerks, some of them are saints, most fall in between. But they have people that love and respect them, and they love and respect other people. I could sit here and show you a million slides but what it boils down to is, are you willing to show love and respect to them, or not? Give them the chance they deserve?

"They make choices, just like we do, and that's what makes them what they are. Not their tails or teeth or fuzzy little faces, but the choices they make. Some you'll hate, some you'll love.

"So that's what you need to know," finished Hunter. He checked his watch. "So we still have about three hours and forty-five minutes left, so what say we go to a bar? First round's on me."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

To: Z. Hunter, ZPD

Subject: Diversity Training

Hunter,

You don't get out of this that easily. The next Diversity Class will be taught according to the course material, is that clear?

Chief of Police, FLPD

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

From: Chief of Police, FLPD

To: Z. Hunter, ZPD

Subject: Diversity Training, II

Okay, Hunter. You'll find your orders to report to ZPD headquarters as soon as possible attached to this email.

My one condition is that you fix the Diversity Training slides so they no longer all show me and/or Heather from HR dancing with various mammals. Heather keeps shouting at me that it's NOT funny.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

From: Z. Hunter, ZPD

To: Chief of Police, FLPD

Subject: Re: Diversity Training, II

Okay, very funny, Chief, can I have the real orders now? Not the video of me dancing with a capybara?

I take it you met Clawhauser when you visited.


	18. Epilogue

Epilogue

Hunter cleared his throat nervously as he looked at the driver's seat, where Nick lounged with his aviator sunglasses covering his eyes. "So, uh, we hadn't really talked about the warehouse-"

Nick looked at him. "What about it?"

"Well, you know, I wasn't actually going to kill you guys. I was just looking for an opportunity."

The fox simply nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"Oh. You did? Because I thought-"

"I was just backing your play, Hunter, come on." Nick pushed up his sunglasses so he could look the human in the eye. "I know you better than that. Hell, I figured you knew me better than that."

"Uh-"

Nick frowned at him, then pointed accusingly. "I hustled you!"

"What?" Hunter snorted and rolled his eyes. "Of course not."

"Oh, yes, yes I did! Oh, this is rich. I had you going- you thought I thought you were really going to kill me!"

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up."

"Well, I think you owe me this one," said Nick. "After all, remember what your clever distraction turned out to be? Me getting shot?"

"It's times like this that seems like it was pretty clever after all," growled Hunter.

"Hey!"

They both turned to see Hopps approaching the patrol car, their coffees in her paws. "I leave you two alone for five minutes and you're already bickering again?"

"He started it," they said in unison, pointing at one another.

Judy rolled her eyes and handed them their drinks. "Oh, come on, Zach, you know you love him."

Hunter stopped. He looked at the two smiling faces, and for just a moment his usual cynical exterior dissolved. He smiled, gently. "Yeah, I guess I do. Both you guys."

Nick coughed and started to fiddle with the radio.

Judy leaned against the outside of the car with her own coffee. "Hey, I was wondering. Zach, what did you do before you were a cop?"

"Oh, I sold appliances at a retail outlet. Vacuum cleaners and hair dryers."

Nick paused, frowned at him.

Judy chuckled slightly. "Why on earth did you go from that to policing?"

"Only other job I could find that both sucks and blows."

"Wait a minute," said Nick, suspiciously. "You told me that you were a plumber. Are you just making up professions that you have good one-liners for?"

Hunter cocked an eyebrow at him and leaned back in his seat.

"Seriously, Zach, what did you used to do?"

The veteran cop yawned and adjusted his seat back as far as it would go.

"Oh, you're going to tell me sooner or later, Hunter."

Judy interrupted them. "By the way, Zach, you said my last big case- the Night Howler one- wasn't typical."

Hunter opened his eyes, looked at her. "Yeah?"

"Well, is it just me, or did this last case involve a major governmental conspiracy, racial tensions, a runaway train, and not one but two villainous monologues?"

"Uh," hesitated Hunter, but then he rallied. "Yeah, but you didn't record anything on your little carrot pen, now did you?"

She held up the pen, pressed the "Play" button.

 _Oh come on, Hunter, you know you love him._

And then Hunter's voice, gentle, with just a hint of teariness. _Yeah, I guess I do. Both you guys._

Hunter's eyes narrowed. "Give me the pen, bunny."

"Not until you tell me what your job was before you were a cop."

Hunter regarded her. "Of course you realize, rabbit. This means war."

Nick grinned, widely.

Today was going to be an interesting day.

 _Author's Note:_

 _So first and foremost, thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed. I really appreciate the support, especially the very kind early reviewers (AndrewTheSlyFox, I'm Not a Hoe, Francisco914, and Machineheart). I had considered drawing out the publishing schedule, but recently came down with a really nasty cold. So on the plus-side, I had time to finish stuff up because I've been off work. On the down-side, I lacked some of the motivation to do so because I've been coughing, wheezing, and longing for the sweet embrace of death to release me from this eternal misery. So it's more or less a wash, and I decided to go ahead and publish what I had. I may or may not edit and revise a bit later, though only to fill in gaps and such, not make major plot changes._

 _The primary goal of this fic was to be funny- the plot is pretty much generic Buddy Cop Movie Plot Number 4A. Not saying that's necessarily bad- Hot Fuzz, one of my favorite cop movies of all time, had a similar one- but it's pretty standard. On the other hand, hopefully I made you laugh. If a few people enjoyed the fic, then that works for me- this is just for fun, and it's fun for me to know that others had fun. On the gripping hand, I wouldn't mind if even more people found and enjoyed this story, so if you did like it, please review, or favorite, or let other people know, whatever. Word of mouth- okay, text of screen- is the only way something like this spreads, and I'm not going to promote my own fanfic- seems tacky, somehow._

 _Let me know if you think I should continue this story-line, or if you have other ideas for other fics. I won't promise I will write it, but I promise to consider any ideas shot my way. If one tickles my fancy, or sets off my imagination, I'll run with it._

 _Thanks again for reading._


	19. Bonus Chapter- Animal Cops

_Author's Note:_

 _So a bunch of folks have been enjoying this and requested I continue the story. I'm still working out potential plots for a longer form story- but in the meantime I figured I could do one or more "shorts". These will still have a basic plot, but primarily be there for humor value and maybe some character development. Think of them as a sort of "breather" episode._

 _Each of these will probably run about 3-5 chapters, if I had to guess, though don't hold me to that._

 _So here's the first. Hope you enjoy it._

Animal Cops

"Mr. Mayor."

"Ah, Chief Bogo, please, have a seat." The raccoon mayor of Zootopia barely glanced up as the Chief of Police settled gingerly into a chair, which creaked ominously under his weight.

For a long moment, nothing was said. Finally, Bogo prompted Mayor Procyon. "You wanted to see me?"

Procyon looked up as if he had forgotten the chief was there. "Yes, of course! So, after the major successes your department has had recently, we were approached by the Zootopian Reality Network." The raccoon fished among the documents piling his desk and handed Chief Bogo a folder. "Here's the proposal."

The Chief took the paper suspiciously and read it. When he looked up, his face was very carefully neutral. "They want to film a reality show with our officers."

"Yes, a splendid idea, I thought! Show mammals in the city just what their tax dollars are paying for. Demonstrate the commitment and dedication that every public servant under my administration brings to their job." Procyon smiled as he leaned back to gauge the Chief's reaction.

Bogo said nothing, though in his mind he ran through the ways this could go wrong. He stopped when he got to twenty, and seventeen of them involved Hopps, Wilde, or Hunter. Well, as long as he wasn't asked to-

"In particular, I'd like a camera crew to ride with our heroes- all three the first of their species to work for ZPD, all three famous for their actions in protecting this fair city. Just think of what the voters- er, the citizens will think!"

Bogo stared at him. "Didn't you read the performance evaluation I gave Officer Hunter this past quarter?"

The raccoon frowned. "You gave- isn't that his supervisor's job?"

"I've been having difficulty finding a supervisor willing to take responsibility for him," said Bogo dryly.

"Perhaps you could summarize it for me, then," said the raccoon impatiently.

"Summarize Hunter?" Bogo considered that. "Well, you've heard of his rules?"

The raccoon frowned. "Rules?"

"He has a bunch of rules he spouts off to impressionable young rookies. To summarize Hunter, I'd quote rule twenty.

"It not only can get worse, it probably already has by the time you get there."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter was annoyed. He glanced at his watch again, noting that he was supposed to be off duty in less than an hour.

Except right now, he was holding the perimeter on three burglars who had barricaded themselves in the business they had been caught breaking into.

"You'll never take us alive, coppers!" shouted one from inside at the police mammals forming the perimeter.

"Who says we want to?" muttered Hunter. He noticed a bear, a sergeant, standing uncertainly next to a patrol car, the public address microphone held to his mouth. Hunter sidled over. As he passed his patrol car, he grabbed an empty glass bottle from off the ground.

"You are surrounded. Come out with your paws up and you will not be harmed," said the bear into the PA. Hunter nodded to him and he glanced at the human officer.

"You ever done negotiating, sergeant?"

The bear glanced at the building again. "Well, not really."

"I've got some experience. Care if I try?"

The sergeant had little direct knowledge of Hunter, and so it was a natural mistake to make.

He handed Hunter the microphone.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"He gets the job done, though? I mean, I read about some of his cases," said Procyon.

"Yes, we tend to edit those reports a bit," replied Bogo carefully.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter addressed the sergeant. "First, you should try to personalize yourself to them a bit. You know, make a connection, establish a rapport. Let them see what kind of mammal you are." He raised the microphone to his mouth.

"Now listen up, you dumb sonsabitches!"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You're not saying that he breaks regulations?" asked Procyon, scandalized.

"Rule Eight," muttered Bogo.

"What?"

"Nothing. No, not breaks, generally. Bends, yes. And we've had to make several new regulations just to cover things he's done that we've never thought we needed to spell out before."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The burglars inside all looked out, stunned. "What did you call me?" shouted one.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" shouted Hunter. "I'm supposed to be off in an hour, dammit! Now are you going to come out, or are we going to do this the hard way?"

"Oh, tough talk, copper! Come on, what's the hard way?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"New regulations?" said the mayor, confused. "Like what?"

"Such as 'All prisoners must be transported only in the designated passenger areas of a patrol vehicle,'" quoted the chief.

"You're saying he transported someone in- where, the trunk?"

"Well, one was. The other was tied onto the roof of the patrol car."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Carefully, Hunter ripped off a section of an old undershirt he carried to give his boots a quick polish when needed. He stuffed the strip into the bottle, leaving a bit hanging out. Then, he lit the end of the cloth sticking out of the bottle with a lighter.

"Uh, Hunter," said the sergeant, who was watching this. "What are you-"

Once the cloth was lit, Hunter stepped out of cover. "Fire in the hole," he shouted.

He tossed the flaming bottle through the window of an office adjacent to the ones the burglars were trapped in. The window shattered and sparks flew out.

All three burglars shouted in alarm.

Hunter glanced around, picked up another bottle. The sergeant stared at the building, his jaw open.

The second bottle proved not to be necessary. Pell mell, the burglars rushed out of the building.

"Okay, okay, we give up, just keep that maniac away from us!" the ringleader shouted as multiple police mammals converged on him. A number of firefighters who had been standing by rushed towards the building.

"If I had a nickel for every time I heard that," muttered Hunter. He glanced at his watch again. "Well, sarge, looks like we got them. Have a good one." He turned to walk off before he felt a massive paw fall on his shoulder. He turned to stare at the bear sergeant, who was staring at him in mixed horror and anger, jaw working.

"Hunter," he growled.

The human sighed.

Looks like he'd be working late after all.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter stood to attention in front of Bogo's desk, eyes fixed firmly on the wall above the seated water buffalo.

Bogo stared at Hunter. "Okay, let's hear it."

Hunter shrugged. "I don't see that I did anything wrong."

"You attempted to set a building on fire in order to apprehend three burglary suspects. I don't remember seeing molotov cocktails on the approved list of police gear."

"Set on fire?" Hunter looked innocent. "Of course not, chief. First of all, I didn't put an accelerant into the bottle. The fire- what little there was- pretty much went out on impact. Even if it had stayed lit, the offices in that building are all slick and modern- all tile and metal furniture. Been there a few times to do reports. Not much to burn, especially with firefighters and a sprinkler system. There wasn't any damage to speak of."

"Except for the broken window."

"Well, gosh, sir, if we can't break a single window or two to effect dynamic entry, our hands are pretty much tied."

"You threatened the suspects with arson, though."

"I never threatened them, not in so many words. Not only did I never say I'd set the building on fire, I think we've established that I didn't actually have any intent or reasonable belief that I'd set the building on fire." Hunter paused. "Sir."

Bogo glared at him. "What were you before you were a cop, a lawyer?"

"Oh, no, sir. I had a much nobler calling than that."

Despite himself, Bogo was curious. There was a lot of gossip around the station about what Hunter's true background was. "What?"

"I was a male stripper."

The chief gave him a flat look, then sighed. "Oh, I get it. I ask you what made you become a cop and you say 'I became a cop because I already had the uniform and could reuse the handcuffs.'"

"Well, I had to get the fuzzy bits off the handcuffs first, sir, wouldn't be professional otherwise-"

"Dismissed, Hunter."

When the human left, Bogo started writing.

"Addendum to Departmental Standard Operating Procedures and Regulations," he muttered to himself. "The use of real or simulater incendiary devices is _strictly_ prohibited-"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I'm not saying we can't be friends, Nick. It's just that- well, we've both got our careers to think about. So moving beyond that is just- it's not a good idea."

Nick stared out the window, avoiding her eyes. "Because of our careers? Come on, Carrots, there's plenty of cops who've had relationships within the department."

Judy shook her head. "And most of them end up badly, Nick. Not only are there the usual problems with workplace, er, relationships, but this is a dangerous job sometimes. If you're in trouble, and I'm responding, it could really affect my judgment-"

He looked at her then. "And it wouldn't already?"

She paused.

"You know, Carrots- Judy. You can't just turn off this sort of thing."

"No. But we can still make a decision not to go further, at least not yet."

Nick watched her for a moment, and finally he nodded. "Sure."

She twitched in surprise. "That was a fast decision."

"Well, you made a good case," said Nick. "Clearly, we need to slow this thing down a bit. So did you hear what Hunter did today?"

She kept casting suspicious glances at him the whole way back to the station as he talked about Hunter's latest escapade.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Nick walked into roll call the next day and immediately spotted Hunter, feet up on the table with his chair leaned back. He sat down next to the older officer. "Hey, Zach."

Hunter glanced at him and rolled his eyes. "Judy talked to you, did she?"

Nick stared. "How did you- is it that obvious?"

"Well, yeah, although she came to me asking for advice a couple of days ago."

The fox felt a welling of anger. "And what did you tell her? That cops shouldn't date?"

"I told her you were both adults and knew best what you could and couldn't handle," replied Hunter sanguinely. "I also told her that only an idiot gets in the middle of relationship-" his hand described a vague gesture in the air "- stuff."

After a moment, Nick nodded. "Okay, fair enough." He sighed. "We decided to sort of- take a break."

"Okay."

The fox glanced at him. "Not curious about that?'

"See above, regarding: getting involved in relationship stuff." He pointed at himself. "Not an idiot."

Bogo walked in, glared at Hunter. "Well, good to see the idiot could make it."

"Hey, chief, if it's stupid and it works it's not stupid."

The water buffalo sighed. "That would be your motto. What do you call it if it's stupid and doesn't work, Hunter?"

"A politician."

"Moving right along," said Bogo, wincing slightly. "I have a special announcement to make. The Zootopian Reality Network has three camera-mammals that will be riding along with some of you today, to document some real-life police work."

The assembled officers all looked at one another. "Are you sure that's a good idea, chief?" asked Delgato, cautiously.

"The mayor thinks it's a great idea," said the chief, dryly. "He says that the ZPD has nothing to hide."

Every officer looked at Hunter. "What?" asked Hunter, in annoyance.

"Yeah, but do we have _nobody_ to hide?" said one of the lions in the back, _sotto voce_.

"The mayor has personally selected the three officers who will initially have the camera-mammals riding with them," continued the chief. He paused and shuffled some paperwork for a moment.

Finally, as if recognizing the inevitable could no longer be delayed, the chief snapped out. "Wilde, Hopps, and Hunter, you'll be riding with one camera-mammal each. Dismissed."

The chief turned and walked out as the animals in roll call all stared at one another.

After a moment, Wolferd raised his paw with a bill clutched in it. "I've got five dollars that Hunter's camera-mammal doesn't last until lunch."

"Ten and you're on," said Delgato.

"Two to one he loses at least part of his tail," added a lion.

Hunter looked at Wilde and Hopps. Hopps was grimacing at the rampant lack of professionalism on display. Wilde looked like he was considering taking one of the bets.

He sighed and left.

It was going to be a long day.


	20. Bonus Chapter 2

Bonus Chapter 2

Hunter looked his "partner" over. "Okay, so no offense, but I don't recognize your species," he said slowly.

The mammal gestured at a sticker on his chest. The cop read it.

"Hello, I am a capybara." Hunter nodded. "Hey, I used to have a sticker just like that."

"Oh?" replied the capybara, somewhat nervously under the veteran's cop gimlet gaze. "Except I guess it said 'human' instead of 'capybara', huh?"

"No." Hunter turned and walked away. "So what's your momma call you?"

"I, uh, what?" The camera-mammal hurried to catch up, his short legs pumping to keep up with the much larger human.

"Your name, what's your name?"

"Oh, it's Carlos, Carlos de los Aguaporcos."

"Mom was pretty formal, huh? Okay, Carlos. You can call me Hunter." The cop opened the passenger door. "You won't need to, though, because you're going to shut up, sit down, and remain that way for the entire shift."

"I'm actually here to get your perspective on modern policing in Zootopia-"

"That's funny, because I'm actually here to, you know, _do_ modern policing in Zootopia. Which of those two jobs sounds more important, do you think?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy smiled brightly at the camera-mammal she had been assigned. "Hi, glad to meet you. I'm Judy."

"I've heard so much about you," gushed the pig as she held out a paw. "Wendy Willow, ZRN. This is going to be so exciting!"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Nick stopped walking as he saw the vixen approach. Lithe, moving with a sensual, predatory grace, she smiled at him. "Well, well, Officer Wilde, you're even more handsome in person. Especially in uniform," she purred.

His instincts kicked in, and he smiled back, just enough to show the tips of his teeth. "You must be my new 'partner'," he said smoothly. "Looks like I got lucky."

"Maybe not just yet," she said. "But the day has just started. Claudia de Ville," she added, holding out a paw.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

0815 Hrs: Just outside ZPD Headquarters

 _Officer Zacharia Hunter. Something of a legend in his own department, it seems he's good enough to keep up with Zootopia's two top cops, the famous Hopps and Wilde duo. Now is our chance to see what really makes him tick, what separates this cop from the pack._

Carlos looked up from the notes he was making for the later voiceover, and sighed.

Hunter sipped his coffee and flipped to the next page of the newspaper he was reading.

Carlos sighed again, this time with intent.

The cop lowered his newspaper slightly. "What? Did you spring a leak or something?"

"Shouldn't you be out, I dunno, patrolling?"

"No calls holding," said Hunter, raising his paper again. "And I need my coffee to operate at top efficiency."

"So you're saying you'll get going a bit later in the day, then? Once you've had your coffee?"

"Nah, this is just to maintain. I'm pretty much operating on all cylinders right now." Hunter put down his coffee, turned the page again.

Carlos drummed his fingers. "Look," he said, an edge in his voice. "How do you think Chief Bogo will feel if I go to him and say the only thing you did all day on camera was sip coffee and read the newspaper?"

The human pursed his lips, looking thoughtful. "How would he feel?" He took another sip of coffee contemplatively. "Compared to what he's probably fearing I'll do? Ecstatic, I expect."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

0837 Hrs: On patrol in Savannah Square

"So the unique challenges Zootopia faces are also our greatest strengths," said Hopps, her voice enthusiastic. "In fact, that's one thing even the humans, with their far more advanced science and technology, acknowledge- that our ability to blend so many different species and still remain so peaceful is far beyond their current capabilities."

Willow's eyes looked a bit glazed. "Well, that's fascinating," she said, holding back a yawn. "And thank you for that, er, very detailed, very long response to my question. But our viewers are actually a bit more interested in, well, some personal details about you as well."

Hopps's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Like the challenges I faced in becoming the first bunny officer on the department?"

"Yes, sure, you bet, but you know, I was just wondering," said Willow, leaning forward and focussing on Hopps's face. "What exactly is the deal between you and Officer Wilde, anyway?"

"What?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

0845 Hrs: Corner of 34th and South Main

"Officer Hopps and I are just colleagues," said Wilde smoothly. "Just friends who have been through a lot together."

"Oh, good," said de Ville. "I mean, that you two are still such good- friends."

Nick nodded, adjusting his shades slightly. "Well, you know, this job can be a bit dangerous, so there's definitely some bonding that goes on. But we have to keep it professional."

"So the job is a bit dangerous?" asked de Ville, widening her eyes slightly. "How do you cope with that?"

"Well, sure, it's a bit frightening sometimes. All these different species, crammed together- all it takes is a small percentage to be bad guys for things to get a bit hairy," said Nick with a casual air. "And that's where we come in. It's a jungle out there, sometimes, and when it gets right down to it, well, we know the law of the jungle." He took off his sunglasses and looked de Ville in the eyes. The vixen seemed entranced.

He narrowed his eyes in a way he had seen Hunter do. "Kill," he put his shades back on and turned to look out the front windshield, "or be killed."

The radio activated. "Unit Thirty four Delta, come in."

He glanced at de Ville with a knowing look as he picked up the radio. "Looks like it's time to get a bit- dangerous."

"Thirty four Delta, go ahead."

"Theft call. Mrs. Delaney says someone stole her pink flamingo. Says she thinks it's the kids across the street again. Need you for the call."

Nick sighed as he saw de Ville hide a grin with her paw. "You're killing me here, Clawhauser."

Back at the dispatch desk, Clawhauser frowned at the radio. "What did I do?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

0855 Hrs: Theft Investigation, 6728 Herd Canyon Lane

Hunter had decided to go by with Wilde on his call, as it sounded like something boring enough that he could avoid being on TV. As he pulled up, the capybara next to him looking frustrated, he spotted Mrs. Delaney- a near-sighted squirrel- talking to Wilde.

"And I looked outside, and it was gone! It had to be those kids on the street, they're always up to no good. Well, you'd know about that, being a fox and all."

Hunter greeted Mrs. Delaney cheerfully. "Ah, Mrs. Delaney! Casually specist as always. You're looking very nice today!"

The squirrel beamed at him. "Officer Hunter, what a lovely surprise! There ought to be more capybaras on the force if they're all as polite and well-mannered as you."

Carlos frowned. "Capybara?"

"Long story," Hunter told him. "So, any progress in the case of the missing lawn ornament, Wilde?"

The fox glanced at his companion, and Hunter took a second to look her over. A fox- a female fox: she was wearing a tight, short skirt and a white blouse. About Wilde's age. And the look she was giving Wilde-

"Mrs. Delaney says it was probably the kids that she's always having problems with," said Wilde in crisp tones. Hunter looked at him in surprise at his oddly professional attitude. "So I thought we'd start our investigation there."

"Our what?"

"Our investigation. You know, interview the possible suspects."

"It's a freaking pink flamingo, Wilde. She probably paid a dollar for it at a local market and will definitely forget she owned it by tomorrow."

"It's a theft, Hunter." The fox avoided his eyes but sounded stubborn. "So let's go talk to our suspects, shall we?"

Hunter cocked his head, looked from Wilde to the camera-fox accompanying him, then sighed. "Okay, so which kids is she talking about? Last I checked nearly everyone on this street had children."

The fox looked at him quizzically. "The goat family, of course. How many other families do you think have kids?"

"The goat- oh, right." Hunter shook his head. "You mean literal kids."

De Ville leaned towards Wilde. "What does he mean, 'literal kids?' There are metaphorical ones?"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Hang on a sec. You're telling me you want to interview me about my personal relationships? What about the important work we're doing here in the city?" Judy was growing increasingly irritated, but the pig didn't seem to notice.

"Well, you and Officer Wilde would be one of the very few predator-prey relationships seen, especially with your profile, and you have to admit he is very handsome for a fox-"

"Oh, come on! You're telling me your viewers will be more interested in the minute details of my, and I can't stress this term enough, _personal_ life than in the critical role the police have in the safety of this city?"

Wendy Willow stared at her, surprised. "Have you even seen a reality show before?" She leaned forward. "So come on, honey, spill. Have you two ever, you know-"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

0906 Hrs, Theft Investigation, 6743 Herd Canyon Lane

Hunter and Wilde approached the house, the two camera-mammals hanging back and filming them. "Okay, so how should we do this?" muttered Wilde.

"I'm still trying to figure out _why_ we're doing this, Nick."

"I mean, you think 'good cop/bad cop' would work? They're young, they're not too smart."

"Yeah, and speaking of not too smart, what the hell do you think you're doing making eyes at that vixen?"

Wilde had just been about to knock at the door. He gave a quick glance at de Ville, who gave him a smile and a thumbs-up. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Right. Aren't you and Judy sort of a thing?"

"No, remember, I told you we were putting that on hold."

"Oh, boy," muttered Hunter. "Yeah, I agree. Young does tend to equal not too smart."

Wilde blinked at him. "Look, let's focus on what we're doing here."

"Sure, fine, let me handle it."

"Uh, actually, I'm the primary officer on this call, so I should- what?"

Hunter was staring at him. "Oh, good grief. You're trying to impress her, aren't you?"

"Who, Claudia? Don't be ridiculous," huffed the fox.

 _Claudia,_ noted Hunter. "With a stolen flamingo case."

"Knocking at the door now."

"Hey, maybe one of the perps will flee on his tricycle and we can have a vehicle pursuit."

Wilde knocked at the door.

"This could be big, Wilde. I mean, what if it's not just pink flamingoes? What if it's an entire gang stealing all manner of lawn accessories? This could be just the tip of the iceberg."

Wilde glared at him. "Just shut the hell up, Hunter, and let me do my job!"

Hunter looked at him, looked at the door that had opened just as Wilde turned to face Hunter.

A very nervous-looking kid- probably eight years old at the most- stared wide-eyed at the uniformed fox.

Hunter looked at Wilde. "Well, I guess that makes me the good cop."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Three kids- young goats- stared anxiously at Wilde and Hunter as they stood in the living room, their mother tapping her foot and frowning equally between the police officers and the supposed suspects.

"So you're saying you didn't take the flamingo?" asked Wilde.

"Better answer him, kids, I can't control him when he's hot on a scent like this," warned Hunter. "He's a wild man, a loose cannon. But by gosh, he gets the job done."

Both Wilde and the mother of the kids glared at him.

"Look, we've sometimes played pranks on Mrs. Delaney before," said Billy, the oldest, whose name had not surprised Hunter in the least.

"But we stopped because momma explained that she's a bitter old mammal who finds her only joy and amusement in whatever strife she can stir up between her neighbors," finished Hamish, whose name had.

Their mother laughed nervously. "Why, I wouldn't- that wasn't exactly what- kids, you know, they say the strangest-"

"No, no, that pretty much sums up Mrs. Delaney to a tee," said Hunter. He paused. "Though I would have gone with codger instead of mammal, to be honest."

"Well, if you didn't take the flamingo, who did?" Wilde asked.

The three kids exchanged looks. "Well, there was this strange mammal- a deer, a male deer, who came by in a pick-up last night. I saw him through the window," said Hamish. "The headlights woke me up. He stopped in front of Mrs. Delaney's yard, got out, and then left not long after."

Hunter and Wilde exchanged looks. "Well, I guess that's all the questions we have," said Hunter.

Followed by the camera-mammals, they trooped outside.

"You believe them?" asked Hunter.

"Yeah, actually. Did you?"

"Yeah."

"So our suspect is a buck with a truck," mused Wilde.

Hunter looked at him. "Think maybe he's down on his luck?"

"Hunter-"

"Maybe he rides with a duck?"

"Look, let's just ask around and see if anyone has seen-"

"I think our investigation is done, Wilde. If you want to ask around to see if anyone has seen a suspicious buck with a truck, you can do it on your own, because quite frankly I don't give a flying fu-"

"Hunter! Cameras!"

The human cop looked over at the camera-vixen, who was avidly filming. "Right. Well, I'll let you get back to your 'important' investigation, fox who thinks with his coc-"

"Cameras!" As Hunter rolled his eyes and walked away, Wilde yelled after him, "And that's a pretty imperfect rhyme anyway!"


	21. Bonus Chapter 3

Chapter 3

0938 Hrs, On patrol

"So you don't think Wilde is on to something?" asked Carlos as they drove away.

Hunter looked at him incredulously. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Well, isn't it weird that an adult mammal would steal a lawn ornament in the middle of the night?"

"I'm pretty sure it's weird for anyone to steal a lawn ornament, Carlos, regardless of the time of day. But just because something is weird doesn't mean it's worth wasting time on." Hunter shook his head. "This is a city. It's full of all kinds of mammals, any number of whom are, at some point or another, kinda weird. Hell, even your friends may act pretty strangely if you don't know the context of what's going on."

His cell phone rang. "Hunter," he answered.

"I don't know how much longer I can deal with this camera-pig, Zach. She's going to get me indicted."

"Judy? What are you talking about- is she trying to get you involved in something illegal?"

"No, I'm going to kill her, then they're going to indict me."

"Not getting along too well, are you?"

"Oh, darn it, she's coming back. Look, do you think the relationship between Nick and me is more important than the survival of Zootopia?"

Hunter looked at the phone suspiciously. "What are you talking about, Judy?"

"Wait, wait, never mind, don't tell anyone anything- good-bye!"

The call disconnected.

Hunter slowly returned the phone to his pocket. "See, for example, if I wasn't okay with a little weirdness now and again that conversation would really bother me."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

0945 Hrs, On Patrol, Business District

"At least tell me if you think he's good-looking or not," wheedled Willow.

Judy gritted her teeth and kept driving.

"I mean, with that beautiful tail and all-"

The radio activated and Judy snatched the mike. "Unit Twenty-seven Charlie, go ahead."

"Uh, wow, that was quick- we have a burglary report at a residence, ten twenty two Foxden Road."

"On the way."

"And that smile," continued Willow. "You can just tell he needs a girlfriend to watch him, because he's been such a bad boy-"

"Concentrating on driving, can't talk now," said Judy hurriedly.

"Oh, that's okay, I'll just-"

"You need to be quiet, too. Don't want a horrible accident to happen to anyone."

"Yes, I suppose a car accident would be a bad thing."

"Yeah, that too."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

0948 Hrs, 1022 Foxden Road

"So that's everything that's missing, right?" asked Judy. "Anything else you notice?"

The homeowner who had been burgled, a panda, nodded. "I think so. Though I'm not certain- this is so frightening! A stranger, in my house. I came home early from work and I could have walked right in on him!"

"I know, ma'am," said Judy comfortingly. "We'll do what we can to catch this mammal."

"You just can't have nice things anymore," said the panda mournfully. "You work so hard and someone just comes along and takes it all away. Do you know, this is the second time I've had a theft this week?"

"What was taken last time?" Judy asked.

"Oh, it was the silliest thing- a lawn ornament, a little ceramic owl. Why on earth would anyone steal such a thing?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1015 Hrs, 7505 Shepherd Walk Street

Carlos frowned as they pulled into the large parking lot, which was situated behind an abandoned building. "Why are we stopping here?"

He looked around, noting how the location they were at prevented anyone from seeing them easily from the street, with the abandoned structure blocking sight-lines. "Wait, is this a stakeout?"

"Sure," said Hunter, settling into his seat and putting it back as far as it would go. "I'm going to keep a close watch on the inside of my eyelids for any signs of suspicious activity."

"You're going to take a nap?"

"Yes, assuming someone will quit chattering into my ear."

Carlos just looked at him, aghast. "How on earth do you have the reputation you have while being this lazy?"

"Bad luck, mostly."

The two settled into an uneasy silence- well, uneasy on Carlos's end. Hunter tilted his head back, cap covering his eyes, and was, to all appearances, fast asleep in seconds.

Until his cell phone rang.

He pulled it out of his pocket with a sigh. "Work, work, work, never any let-up around here." He answered. "Yeah?"

"It's Nick. So I went around and asked a bunch of other mammals in the neighborhood about the suspect."

Hunter covered his eyes with one hand. "I've done less work on an attempted murder investigation, Nick."

"Yeah, but listen- not only did I find -" he heard papers rustling, probably as Nick flipped through his notebook "-ten other mammals that saw the buck with the pick-up, but five other residents reported various lawn ornaments missing!"

"What."

"Someone's up to something, Hunter. This could be important. I've got a description of the truck, too- a white Ram, partial plate WYK-"

Hunter interrupted him. "I'm having serious trouble reconciling 'stolen lawn ornaments' and 'important', Nick."

"Look, I'm having lunch with Judy and I'm going to talk to her about it. You want to meet us at the Golden Dragon at eleven?"

"Well, I was planning on maybe- wait a minute. You've still got that vixen with you, the camera-fox? She's going to go to lunch with you and Judy too?"

"Who, Claudia? Yeah, why?"

"Sure, Golden Dragon at eleven. See ya then." Hunter hung up.

"So what's going on?" Carlos asked curiously.

"Make sure you bring your camera to lunch," said Hunter. "Things might get exciting."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1102 Hrs, Golden Dragon Restaurant

Judy stared at her friend. "So you spent all morning investigating stolen lawn ornaments?"

The fox nodded. "I think I'm on to something here." His "partner" for the day was still outside. Judy was curious to see who was riding with Nick.

Wendy Willow was sitting one table away, having muttered something about "leaving you two alone." Judy had ignored it and thankfully Nick appeared not to notice.

"Yeah, I agree," said Hunter as he walked up to the table, his capybara shadow in tow. "I think he's on something as well."

"On _to_ something, Zach."

"What's sad is he may be right," said Judy with a sigh. "Though for the life of me I can't figure out what."

"What do you mean?" asked Hunter, surprised.

"I just attended a burglary at a residence in that same area. A short time ago, my victim had a lawn ornament stolen from her front lawn."

Hunter frowned. "Coincidence."

"Maybe. But it is kinda weird." Suddenly, she froze.

Both Nick and Hunter followed her gaze to the vixen who had walked up to their table.

Claudia de Ville gave them all a stunning smile and slipped into the booth next to Nick. "Well, it's so good to meet the rest of you! Just pretend I'm not here."

Nick looked at her and smile. "Claudia has been a great help today. She has a knack for getting mammals to talk."

Judy's eyes darted from one to another, her face expressionless. "Claudia?" she asked coldly.

Hunter leaned back. "Do you think this place sells popcorn?" he whispered to Carlos.

Nick seemed oblivious to the sudden tension. "We make a pretty good team," he said. "It's surprising how some people open up when they realize they're being filmed."

The vixen laughed. "Oh, you're just flattering me. Nick did all the work- very clever, very charming, this fox," she said, patting his paw and inching slightly closer.

"It's 'Nick,' is it?," murmured Judy.

Hunter held up a hand below the table where only Carlos could see it. Slowly, he counted down with his fingers- five, four, three, two, one-

Judy stood up. "Oh, hey, look at the time. I should get back to the station and, uh, work on that report."

Nick looked at her, innocent confusion all over his face. Hunter suddenly frowned at his expression. "But we haven't eaten yet."

"I'm, uh," Judy paused, glanced at Claudia. "I'm not hungry."

Hunter was now watching Nick with a growing look of suspicion on his face.

"See you guys later," said Judy. She rushed out.

Behind her, Willow grinned widely and followed.

"I wonder what that was all about?" mused Nick. He froze as he caught Hunter looking at him.

"We need to have a quick word, fox."

"Uh-"

"Oh, hey, looks like there's something on your vest," said Claudia. She took out a handkerchief and started rubbing the front of Nick's uniform. Nick glanced nervously at Hunter, who pointed at the door.

"Now."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The two of them stood outside the restaurant. Hunter looked down at his friend. "You're not that stupid, Nick."

"Is that your way of trying to give me a compliment, Zach? Because I gotta say, it could use a little work."

"Oh, I could believe you wouldn't realize that bringing the girl you're flirting with to lunch was an unintentional mistake," continued Hunter, ignoring him. "But not realizing how upset Judy was after those first couple of seconds? You're playing a game, huh?"

"Didn't someone tell me that getting in the middle of relationship stuff makes you an idiot?"

Hunter squinted at him. "Not as much as trying to hurt someone just to prove a point."

"She made it very clear that she didn't want a relationship with me!" said Nick, suddenly angry.

"And what the hell do you think you just made 'very clear' to her, Nick?"

Nick froze. His ears went flat against his head.

"Hell," continued Hunter, "I'm not saying it wouldn't work- the whole 'make her jealous' thing. But you two shouldn't be together- if that's what you want- because you can't stand to see the other with someone else. You two should be together because neither one of you can stand being with someone else." He sighed. "Anything else is death for a relationship- trust me, I know."

There was a long silence as Nick thought about this. "I screwed up."

"Hey, he can learn after all. I owe Bogo five bucks."

Nick sighed. "You know, only a fox can be so sly and so dumb at the same time."

"Stupid like a fox, eh?" Hunter patted him on the shoulder. "Well, there's always time to apologize. Let's go eat."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1115 Hrs, Business District

Judy drove.

Her thoughts were a turmoil. She hadn't meant to make Nick think there was no possibility of a relationship. She just didn't want to deal with it right now. She was still learning the job, still trying to decide where she wanted to go in the department, in her career, in her life. Nick was- a confusing factor.

Like now. So he was acting all googly-eyed with a vixen. So what? She didn't own him, she didn't have any real hold on him. It shouldn't bother her.

But it did.

Though, that wasn't the only thing that was bothering her.

"So Claudia was pretty friendly with Officer Wilde, huh?" said Willow cheerfully. "It's a good thing there's nothing between you two."

Judy gritted her teeth.

"Oh, I know what's going on, though. It's okay to be jealous, sweetie. But a fox like that- well, he's going to have a bit of a wandering eye."

Judy slammed on the brakes and the pig flew forward with a surprised snort, only her seat-belt keeping her from hitting the dashboard.

"What-"

"Out," ordered Judy.

"But-"

"Out!"

A moment later, a very confused pig stared after the patrol car as it screamed down the street.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1122 Hrs, ZPD Headquarters

Bogo answered his phone. "Chief of Police."

"This is an outrage!"

Bogo sighed. "What did Hunter do now?"

"Who? No, this is Wendy Willow, from ZRN- I was just abandoned on the street corner by one of your officers."

"Yes, that would be Hunter. He's the human one."

"No, it was not Officer Hunter, Chief Bogo."

Bogo blinked. "It wasn't? So it was Wilde? That's really not like him."

"No, will you stop talking and listen? It was Hopps!"

There was a long silence.

"Officer Hopps."

"Yes, that's what I-"

"Officer _Judy_ Hopps."

"You can't possibly be this dense."

Bogo leaned back and rubbed his forehead. "Just one quick question, Ms. Willow."

"Yes?"

"What on earth did you say to that bunny?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1204 Hrs, Business District

Nick had decided that he needed to find Judy and apologize, but in the meantime he had something else to apologize to.

They had just finished a very quiet lunch and he and Claudia were getting back into the patrol car. When she sat down he took a deep breath. "There's something I need to talk to you about, Claudia."

"Oh?"

"Well, we've been getting along pretty well, and the thing is, I may have gotten a bit overenthusiastic at times..."

"What are you saying, Nick?" she asked curiously.

"Look, I'm sorry if I was leading you on at all. I'm afraid I'm not really interested in a relationship right now. There's- well, there's someone else important to me and-" he finally looked over at her.

Straight into her camera. She looked up when she saw his look of shock. "Oh, go on, this is great stuff."

"What- what are you-"

She stared at him. "For the show? The audience eats up this dramatic romance stuff." She paused. "Oh, dear, you didn't really think that it was anything more than a game?"

"Well, it kinda was," began Nick, before he scanned ahead and saw where he was going with that sentence. "I mean, so you weren't at all interested...?"

"Oh, honey. No." She reached into her purse and pulled out a small pouch. "I suppose I can put this back on, now," she said, putting on a wedding ring.

Nick's eyes bugged out. "You're married?" he yelped.

"Oh, don't worry, he understands these things," said Claudia with an airy wave of her hand. "At least, I think he would if he ever found out about it."

Nick considered this. He suddenly patted his pockets. "Oh, gosh, I must have left my notebook on the table inside the restaurant- could you run inside and get it, please? I need to check in with dispatch."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1212 Hrs, ZPD Headquarters

Bogo's phone rang again.

"Chief of Police."

"One of your officers abandoned me at a restaurant!" shouted a female voice.

Bogo nodded. "Ah, there we go. How long ago did Hunter leave?"

"Hunter? He wasn't the one who abandoned me, it was Officer Wilde!"

"Really? I mean, if you mammals are this annoying, how on earth has Hunter put up with you for so long- unless," said Bogo, in sudden realization. "But even he-" he stopped as he further realized what happened every time he decided that something was too far for Hunter.

"What do you mean, annoying?" said the infuriated voice.

Bogo was already buzzing Clawhauser on the intercom. "Clawhauser!"

"Sir?"

"Get Hunter on the radio. Verify that his passenger is a) still with him and b) alive." He thought for a second.

"And c) not trapped in the trunk of the patrol car."

"Uh, sir, are you forgetting-"

"Right. And d) not tied onto the roof of the patrol car."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1214 Hrs, 7201 Shepherd Walk St

"Clawhauser to Hunter."

Hunter picked up the radio. "Hunter, go ahead."

"Can we speak to your passenger, please?"

Hunter glanced over towards the door of the convenience store where he had stopped to let Carlos use the restroom. "He's a bit tied up right now."

"Oh, no, the chief was right," he heard Clawhauser mutter.

"What?" Hunter spotted Carlos coming through the door. "Hang on a sec, I see him. It's for you," he said, handing the mike to Carlos.

The capybara looked at it curiously before keying the mike. "Um, this is Carlos."

"Carlos! You're alive!"

The capybara looked at Hunter, who shrugged. "Um, yes. Any reason I shouldn't be?"

"You're not tied up or stuck in a trunk or anything, are you?"

"Um, no."

"Oh, good."

There was a pause.

"Well," said Clawhauser cheerily. "Have a nice day!"

Carlos replaced the microphone as he slowly sat back down. "What was that all about?"

"Oh, they probably were worried that you'd been annoying me," said Hunter.

Carlos laughed nervously. "And they thought you might have locked me in the trunk or tied me up?"

Hunter eyed him. "Or killed you."

Carlos chuckled. "Right, but I'm sure they were only joking..." his voice trailed off as he caught Hunter's eye.

The cop put the car into drive. "Yeah, sure," he said in a neutral tone. "Joking."

The capybara sat very quietly.


	22. Bonus Chapter 4

Chapter 4

1245 Hrs, 7505 Shepherd Walk St

Judy spotted Hunter's patrol car- sitting in his accustomed spot behind the abandoned strip center- and, almost on a whim, turned into the lot.

She saw him tip his cap up as she approached and pulled her car next to his, the driver's side windows adjacent. "Hey, Zach."

"Judy," he said, somewhat sleepily. "What's up?"

"I need to talk to you for a second."

He frowned as he looked past her into her passenger seat. "Hey, didn't you have a ridealong?"

"Need to talk, please?"

After a moment, Hunter sighed and nodded. "All right." He looked at his passenger. "Scram for a minute."

"Uh, you're not going to leave me here, are you, because I got a few text messages and it seems like ZPD has been abandoning us all over the city today."

Hunter looked at him, then at Judy.

She winced and avoided his gaze.

"Take a walk, Carlos." He looked back at the capybara. "Now."

The capybara flinched. "Okay." Judy heard the door slam as the capybara got out of the patrol car.

"It's about Nick and that- that vixen," said Judy.

The older cop grimaced. "I was afraid of that."

"Look, it's just that- I told him that we should take it easy, that we should maybe wait a bit because of our careers and everything. And now she and he are, well, I mean-"

Hunter nodded. "Okay, first of all, you shouldn't make a decision about a relationship based off of jealousy. That way leads to arguments, fights, and Internal Affairs involvement." He paused. "And most frightening of all, paperwork."

"I'm not jealous," protested Judy.

He raised his eyebrows at her. "Oh?"

She thought about it. "Okay, maybe a little jealous," she conceded. "But mostly- I mean, did I make the right decision?"

"Hoo-boy," muttered Hunter. "Short answer is, hell if I know."

She gave him a flat look. "And the long answer?"

The older cop considered her for a moment. "Okay, why did you want to slow down things?" He held up a hand when she started to answer. "Think about it, now. What were the real reasons- or was it just one, when you get down to it?"

For a long moment, she sat silent, thinking. "First, I'm worried about my career."

"Okay, we'll start with that. What about it?"

"Well, if things don't work out, it can cause problems."

"Sure. What else?"

"If things do work out, then I'll be worried about him and that can affect our judgment."

Hunter nodded. "I'll bet Nick saw the problem with that one, huh?"

She smiled ruefully. "My judgment's already affected. Not being in a definite relationship doesn't change that much."

"Right. And we'll shelve the 'if it doesn't work out' thing for now. Any other worries or concerns?"

"Well," said Judy, hesitantly. "I just had a lot of changes in my life recently, and this is such a big one- I'm just wondering if I'm making a mistake, if this is something I'll look back on and regret."

The human nodded again. "Too much, too soon?"

"I guess."

"How long will be long enough?"

"Uh." Judy blinked. "I don't know."

"Huh." Hunter settled back into his seat. "Well, you're putting off making a decision. That's not a good thing, but it's not a bad thing either. The question is, are you putting it off because you need more information, or because you're afraid to make it?"

She sat quietly as she thought about it. "I'm not even sure what information I need," she confessed.

Hunter sighed. "I'm not going to ask if you love him, because that's basically the decision you're trying to make. Instead, you need to ask yourself two questions."

"Which are?"

"Do you know him? And by that, I mean his strengths, his weaknesses, his dreams, his hopes, his fears, the things that make Nick, well, Nick." He held up a finger. "That's the first question you need to ask yourself."

"And the second?" Judy asked, quietly.

"That's the one folks making this sort of decision don't usually think about, because they take it for granted. Do you know yourself? Because even if you know him, if you don't know yourself, what your strengths, weaknesses, hopes, fears, and so on, how are you going to know if you two will work together if you don't know your own?"

Judy considered all that. "That's a heck of a lot to think about."

"Well, the good news is you don't have to know all this perfectly," said Hunter. "But you do need a pretty good idea. And remember things still might not work out."

"Okay," said Judy. "And what if they don't?"

"That's part of it, and maybe the most important part. How will you react if things don't work out? How will he react?" Hunter shrugged. "You two are both adults and so far have been pretty good at acting like it. So that's something to take into account."

He looked at his watch. "And now I've been completely serious for about ten minutes. That can't go on." He waved to Carlos. "You can come back now!"

The capybara trotted over. "You know, you really can't treat me like this. I have connections." He didn't notice how Hunter's eyes narrowed. "So are we going somewhere?" He frowned as he tried to open the passenger door and found it locked.

"You bet," said Hunter. He reached over and popped the trunk. "Hop in."

Judy sighed. "I think I should be elsewhere for this."

"Yeah, plausible deniability is a good thing," said Hunter. He looked at Carlos, gestured towards the back of the patrol car as Judy pulled away. "You coming or not?"

The capybara looked at him, looked at the trunk. "You're joking, right?"

Hunter leaned towards him. "Yep, so just play along with me. Just wait until you get to the punchline, it'll be worth it."

A moment later, the capybara was laying in the trunk, staring out at Hunter. "Okay, so what's the punchline?"

The trunk lid slammed shut.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1300 Hrs, 6700 Herd Canyon Lane

Nick drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

His patrol car was parked not far from Mrs. Delaney's house, hidden behind some bushes at an abandoned residence. He was watching for a white truck.

Not so he could try to impress the vixen, anymore, of course. Now it was something to do that wasn't trying to find Judy and first, explain that he had been a jerk and second, apologize for being a jerk.

He fully intended to do it. It was just that he might as well try and catch the mysterious lawn ornament thief first. That was reasonable.

If he said it enough times, he could almost believe- no, no, that was a lie.

With a sigh, he picked up the radio. "Thirty four delta to twenty seven charlie."

There was a short pause, then a wary voice. "Go ahead, thirty four delta."

He winced at the tone of Judy's voice. "Do you think you can meet up with me, please?"

A much longer pause. "Are you sure?" responded Judy, a bit of an edge in her voice. "I won't be interrupting anything?"

Nick sighed. "Yes, I'm sure. Please?"

"Fine, I'm on my way."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1310 Hrs, 8900 Glendale Forest Blvd

Hunter stopped the car and got out, muttering to himself. He walked around to the trunk, which was emitting a rhythmic series of thumps. He popped open the trunk. "Will you stop doing that?" he said to Carlos. "You're even more annoying in the trunk than you were in the passenger seat."

The capybara looked at him hopefully. "So you'll let me out?"

Hunter shrugged. "Or cuff and gag you."

"Wait! Look, let me out, please! It smells like old gym socks in here!"

"Well, yeah, I keep my gym bag in there."

Two passersby saw Hunter and then saw that he was talking to someone in the trunk of his car. Their eyes widened. Hunter looked up at them.

"Unpaid parking ticket," he said, gesturing to the capybara.

They exchanged nervous glances and hurried on. Hunter turned his attention back to Carlos. "So are you going to be quiet, or is it cuffs and a gag? I'll warn you, the only thing I have to gag you with is the aforementioned gym socks."

"Hang on, hang on, I thought of something on the case you're working!" shouted Carlos desperately.

Hunter frowned. "What case?"

"The lawn ornaments."

"The lawn- what is it with you mammals? They're freaking lawn ornaments!"

"Look, I worked on a show out here, one of those house-flipping type things, and all those houses where lawn ornaments were missing? They all have the same HOA."

"Homeowner's association? So?"

"Well, you know how HOA's have rules that they enforce?"

Hunter looked at him for a minute. "Okay, that's actually fairly smart. But it's still pretty small potatoes."

"But what if the burglaries are connected, somehow?"

"How would the burglaries be- oh, wait a minute," said Hunter. He fell silent, thinking.

"Maybe you could make some calls and see if there were other burglaries where lawn ornaments went missing?" suggested Carlos.

Hunter nodded. "Okay, fine. You earned your way out of the trunk."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1323 Hrs, 6700 Herd Canyon Lane

Judy pulled up next to Nick. She frowned as she looked into his patrol car. "Where's your ridealong?"

Nick looked past her to the passenger seat. "Where's yours?"

"Um." She looked slightly guilty. "What's that phrase Hunter likes to use? Plausible-"

"Deniability. Got it." They smiled at one another, though the smiles slipped as their eyes met. They both looked away.

"So," began Nick, taking a deep breath. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"About what?" asked Judy, her voice neutral.

"Well, I may have- I did do something stupid, and I just wanted to say that holy crap that's him, that's the buck with the truck."

Judy blinked. "What?"

Nick was already putting the patrol car into drive. "That's the white truck, Ram with partial plate WYK! Driven by a male deer!"

"The lawn ornament thief?" said Judy, but Nick was already peeling out of the parking lot.

She followed.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1325 Hrs, 2102 Wild Road

"So you had a lawn ornament stolen as well? A few days before the burglary?" Hunter winced and held the phone away from his ear as the voice on the other end grew loud. "Yes, sir, I realize that you're far more concerned with the stolen electronics, but this could be related- no, sir, I'm not at liberty to say how exactly, but you have a real nice day." He hung up as the voice grew even louder. "So that's seven out of ten burglaries where lawn ornaments were stolen shortly before."

"Stolen or confiscated?" said Carlos, who was listening intently- and filming discreetly. "I checked the HOA's rules on-line and they do prohibit the display of lawn ornaments."

"Yeah, but do the rules say they can break into your house if you break them?" said Hunter, sarcastically.

"Well, I don't know. But probably the suspect-"

"Buck with a truck. Don't tell anyone, but I find that funny as hell."

"The buck with the truck, then, works for the HOA."

Hunter nodded. "Meaning he has a plausible reason to be in people's yards- of course!"

"What?"

Hunter paused. "Didn't Wilde and Hopps just call out on traffic over the radio?"

"Hunter, this is really annoying!"

"Yeah, it's kind of a knack," said Hunter as he picked up the mike.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1326 Hrs, 6600 Herd Canyon Lane, Traffic Stop

"Look, I've explained it all to you," said the buck- George Stowland, according to his ID. "I work for the HOA, they have me roll around and confiscate any lawn ornaments in mammals' lawns."

Nick and Judy were both in the bed of the pick-up, inspecting the very disparate stack of lawn ornaments they had found. "Six pink flamingoes, four ceramic statuettes, a miniature windmill," muttered Judy.

Nick looked through the open rear window into the cab of the truck where Stowland sat. "In the middle of the night?"

The deer shrugged. "A lot of people don't even know the HOA rules. It's just easier to grab them and go without having to argue."

Nick's radio crackled. "Nick, it's Hunter."

Judy rolled her eyes. "Does he even know his unit numbers?"

"What's up, Hunter?" Nick answered.

"You stopped the buck with the truck?"

"Um, yeah?"

"He works for the HOA?"

Judy and Nick traded glances. "How did you figure that out?"

"Listen, Nick, that's likely just his day job- well, night job. Think about it- he can scope out a house, be in someone's yard, and if they do catch him he just trots out the HOA regulations. He's not stealing lawn ornaments, he's _casing_ potential targets."

Nick stared at the radio, then looked at the cab of the truck.

Stowland said he worked at night. It was early afternoon. So why was he in the neighborhood? Unless-

Nick leaned over and looked closer through the rear window of the truck's cab. In the back seat, partially hidden by some blankets, he caught a glimpse of a flat-screen television. He looked up, straight into the eyes of Stowland.

Stowland's eyes flicked between Nick and the partially exposed television. The buck whirled and cranked the engine.

"Judy! Get out of the truck!" shouted Nick.

"What?"

Before either could jump out, the truck accelerated, throwing them both off their feet.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1328 Hrs, Two blocks from Hopps's and Wilde's Traffic Stop

Hunter was driving fast towards the location of the traffic stop when he heard Nick's panicked voice over the air.

"Suspect is fleeing! Northbound, 6600 Herd Canyon Lane-" there was a thumping noise and a break in the transmission- "left at Bearden Park!"

Hunter keyed his mike. "Nick, are you two in pursuit?"

There was a pause, then. "Uh, sort of."

Carlos and Hunter exchanged puzzled glances. "What do you mean, sort of?"

"We're still in the back of the truck he's fleeing in."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Bogo had stopped to talk to Clawhauser at the front desk, and now they both were staring at the radio.

"Just one quiet day," muttered Bogo. "All they needed to do was have one quiet day."


	23. Bonus Chapter 5

_Author's Note: I thought about leaving the cliffhanger, well, hanging for a bit longer, but that would be mean. There will be one more chapter after this for this story arc, by the way. See notes at bottom for additional information on my goals/publishing schedule._

 _Thanks again for all the kind reviews, in particular I appreciate Erinnyes01's kind words and insightful comments, and Francisco914's enthusiasm. I seem to gradually be gaining a fanbase, but please feel free to direct others who might enjoy it to this fic. Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed!_

1329 Hrs, Vehicle Pursuit

The truck careened around a corner, tossing Nick and Judy to the other side. Nick yelped as he was poked by one of the wires that made up the "skeleton" of the flamingo.

Judy grasped the side of the truck. "This is bad."

Nick turned towards the still-open rear window of the truck. "Stop this truck now!" he shouted at Stowland.

The burglar just hunched his back and ignored him, whipping around another corner at high speed. Judy shouted their new location into her radio, then looked at Nick. "Did you think that would work?"

The fox shrugged. "Worth a try," he said. He looked at the window. "Think you could fit through there?"

"And do what, Nick? Even if I can overpower him, we'll definitely crash- and the bed of a pick-up is not the safest place to be."

"The way he's driving, he's going to crash anyway."

Both of them glanced back as they heard the sound of sirens, and then they caught the sight of flashing lights as a ZPD cruiser sped to catch up with them.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1330 Hrs, Vehicle Pursuit

Hunter keyed his mike. "Unit- unit, uh- dammit, this is Hunter, I've got visual on the suspect."

"Acknowledged, Unit Forty-four Charlie," responded Clawhauser, somewhat dryly emphasising Hunter's unit number. "We're vectoring in the helo, keep us informed of location."

"You got it, dispatch." Hunter tossed the mike to Carlos. "I'm going to need you to call out our location when I give it to you. I need both hands to drive." He swerved and fish-tailed as a car nosed out of a driveway in front of him. "See?"

Carlos clutched his seat, his eyes wide. "Can I go back into the trunk now?"

"You had your chance."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Judy, I need to tell you something," said Nick. They both braced as the truck drifted, tires squealing, around another turn.

"Is this really the time?" shouted Judy.

"I wasn't really interested in that vixen," said Nick. "I was just trying to make you jealous."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, it was stupid. I just- I don't want whatever we have to end, and-"

"Nick, seriously?"

"We can take it slow, or fast, or however, but regardless, I want you to know-"

"Nick-"

The truck hit a bump and both animals flew into the air. Judy cried out as she struck the side of the pickup's bed and rolled off-

Only to find Nick grasping her arm. Somehow, the fox had managed to recover and hang onto her before she could fall.

He hauled her back into the truck. "I won't let you fall."

She hung on to him. "I know."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter's heart jumped into his mouth when the truck hit that speed bump and his two friends flew into the air. It settled slightly as he saw Nick pull Judy back into the bed of the truck. But now-

"Seriously, guys?" he muttered. "Is this really the time?"

"This is great!" enthused Carlos, his camera fixed on the truck.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Their radios activated again. "Nick, Judy, you there?"

Nick answered, bracing against another nausea-inducing swerve. "Go ahead, Hunter."

"Look, I can't PIT this guy, he's moving too fast. I need you to slow him down."

The fox looked around. "Oh, is that all? Maybe I could fashion a big drag chute out of my uniform."

Judy frowned, glancing at the contents of the truck bed. "Nick."

"Or maybe I can get up front and try to push? Or, ooh, rest my heels on the ground and act like a brake?"

"Nick!"

He looked at her. "What?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"What are they doing?" asked Carlos.

"Something stupid," said Hunter.

"Should they be doing that, then?"

"If it's stupid and it works-"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"A little further," shouted Judy. Nick was holding onto her as she leaned over the side of the truck.

"Judy, hurry, he could take a turn any minute!"

"Just a little further- there!" She shoved the pink flamingo she was holding into the wheel well.

The fast-spinning tire caught the wire frame and yanked it from her paws.

What happened next occurred so fast that Judy only noticed part of it.

First, the flamingo was yanked under and around the tire, which pulverized the plastic parts of the lawn ornament in mere milliseconds.

Then, the thick wire skeleton of the ornament exposed, it, too, was ripped apart into lots of metal pieces. Very sharp metal pieces.

The tire blew out as wire fragments pierced the sidewalls.

The truck yawed and spun, leaning dangerously to one side as the high center of gravity started to roll it over.

That was the part Judy noticed.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1333 Hrs, Vehicle Pursuit

"Oh, boy," muttered Hunter as the truck yawed back and forth across several lanes. Thankfully, Judy was thrown back into the bed with one of the yaws. He saw it begin to tip, the right two tires leaving the pavement, and reacted instantly. "Hang on!"

He accelerated, bringing the patrol car up next to the tipping vehicle. There was a screech as the side of the truck hit the patrol car. Hunter fought with the steering wheel, forcing the patrol car to the right, further into the truck.

The truck fell back onto the pavement, and then swerved right again. It flew off the road and by pure good luck, straight into a sodden field. It bounced and jounced twice, before finally sinking into the mud, the tires spinning fruitlessly.

Hunter was already out of the patrol car, dashing towards the vehicle.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy and Nick sat up, woozily. "What just happened?" said Nick, holding his head.

Hunter's face popped up over the side of the truck. "Are you two okay?" They noticed the capybara camera-mammal behind him. Carlos hopped up onto the truck and gave them a little wave.

Nick looked at Judy, who nodded. "Just a bit shaken, Zach."

Hunter rushed to the driver's door.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Yanking the door open, Hunter shouted, "Police! Don't mo-"

He had time to realize that he was facing, for some reason, the hindquarters of a fairly large deer, but not enough time to remember that hoofed mammals generally face _away_ from their enemies to attack.

A powerful kick from the deer's hind leg threw him to the ground. He hit the ground, breath knocked out of him.

Stowland, eyes panicked, hurriedly backed out of the driver's seat. He held a crowbar- _burglary tool_ , the part of Hunter's mind that catalogued evidence noted- in one forepaw and brought it up as the human struggled to breathe.

"Hey, you!" shouted a voice from above. Stowland looked up.

Into the face of Carlos the capybara. "You're about to be famous," said the capybara sitting on the roof of the truck. He then threw the ceramic owl he was holding onto the buck's head.

The deer collapsed into a heap.

Hunter struggled to his feet, looked at the unconscious deer, then at the capybara. "You know, I thought you guys weren't supposed to get involved directly."

Carlos grinned at him. "Sometimes, you have to create your own drama."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

1401 Hrs, Vehicle Pursuit, 22200 Old Mill Lane

"So I was right."

Hunter looked at Nick. "About what?"

"You know what," said Nick smugly. "Oh, it's just a bunch of lawn ornaments, you said. A waste of time, you said."

"Okay, okay, so you got lucky-"

"And caught a serial _burglar_ , Hunter. Don't forget that part."

Hunter cocked an eye at him. "Oh, really? Because to me, it looked like the burglar caught _you_."

Nick hesitated. "Well-"

"I knew it was going to be different, but I never imagined that in Zootopia PD, burglars catch cops."

"We caught him, that's the important part!" said Nick.

"Hey, Hunter, anything you want to say for the cameras before we wrap up?" Carlos had appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Hunter looked at him.

"Sure." He waited a moment while Carlos settled himself. "What we had here was a very significant case, where the quick thinking of my colleague-" he gestured to Nick "-revealed that even the smallest, least important clue can be the right one." Nick grinned and adjusted his sunglasses.

"And while some may say that getting caught in the bed of a suspect's pickup as he flees is, what's the word- starts with a 'U'-"

"Unfortunate," said Nick firmly.

"Utterly ridiculous, the end result was that we caught the bad guy.

"And in conclusion, I can sum up the case thusly. We caught the buck by getting his truck stuck in the muck." He spotted Stowland, being led away by two other officers, with a large lump on his head. "And he should have learned how to duck."

Stowland glared at him. "You really suck."

"Your timing was perfect," Hunter told him. He grinned broadly. "You know, it's times like this that I really love this job."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 _Author's Note:_

 _So I finally got over- kinda, sorta- whatever fell plague Nurgle sent my way and will be going back to work, which I anticipate being relatively busy for various reasons. So that will slow down my writing a bit. However, my goals- and so far I seem to be meeting them fairly well- are to continue to publish roughly five chapters every week or so. I will likely be holding them until the weekend, because I tend to start writing without a real clear idea where I'm heading, then the plot sorta coalesces, then I go back and change a few things if needed in prior chapters to fit._

 _I will likely start a new story for the short arc stuff, and another if I decide to go to a longer arc (think TV episodes vs movie as far as length)._

 _Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions regarding that, let me know in reviews or PM's in the next few days. Do you prefer short arcs or long? Is there a good reason to keep them all attached to this story, or would it be better to start a new one? Would you prefer more dramatic stuff or a focus on the comedy (it's going to remain primarily a humorous fic regardless, but I can work in more drama if people are enjoying it)? I'll post the final chapter of this arc probably on Monday or Tuesday, and finalize my plans/goals and post them in an author's note then. Bear in mind that I have very little experience with fanfiction dot net, and so the more esoteric elements of the site's mechanics tend to escape me._

 _Thanks again for reading!_


	24. Bonus Chapter 6

"You know, it's times like this that I really hate this job," said Bogo sourly.

The headline of the paper read DRAMATIC ZPD CHASE. Underneath, in slightly smaller type: WILDE AND HOPPS DO IT AGAIN.

Besides the paper, there was another annoyance- well, two annoyances- in his office. Wendy Willow and Claudia de Ville both glared at him. "So what are you going to do about this?" demanded Willow.

"I shall probably not assign you to ride with either Hopps or Wilde again," replied Bogo.

"And?" said de Ville after a moment.

"And...you're welcome?"

"What?"

Bogo pointed at them. "It's any officer's right to decide whether to continue riding with a ridealong- we're not going to override their judgment for any reason, whether it be that they decided to drop you off for safety reasons or because you were distracting or throwing off their judgment. All they had to do was drop you off in a safe place, which they did." Possibly by accident in Hopps's case, Bogo didn't say. "I will speak with them regarding appropriate procedures for doing so in the future, but I will not punish them for doing something legal and within policy."

Both reporters glared at him. "We lost out on some incredible footage!" said Willow, pointing at the newspaper.

"Which you would have done anyway, since they were unlikely to have let you up in that truck bed with them. And your colleague still was able to get good video." Bogo leaned back. "Speaking of which, I wanted to speak with you regarding some of that video you recorded, which I reviewed. Specifically, the parts where it was clear you had recorded conversations intended to be private."

Willow and de Ville looked wary, exchanged looks. "I don't know what you mean," said Willow carefully.

"Oh, I think you do."

"It's good entertainment," said de Ville. "And you can't stop us from broadcasting it!"

Bogo grimaced. "It's not me that you need to worry about, Mrs. De Ville."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Judy sat with Nick in a small, out of the way coffee shop. They were alone- it was late in the evening, and most of the regular customers came by during morning or lunch.

"I'm still not happy with you," said Judy quietly.

"I don't blame you," replied Nick, also quietly.

"Are you angry with me?"

Nick looked up, surprised. "Why would I be?"

"Because I made a decision that involved both of us and just told you what it was, without giving you a say. Because it was a decision to not make a decision, and it wasn't fair to you to not make it."

The fox considered this. "It's still your decision."

"But it involves your life as well as mine. You should at least hear my reasoning, and have a chance to talk to me about it." Judy sipped her coffee, her eyes watching Nick. "Just like-"

"Just like I should have talked to you about this, instead of trying a clever plan to make a point," said Nick.

"Yes. And so long as we both understand that we should really talk about these things in the future, I wanted to say something about your 'clever plan'."

Nick winced. "Oh?" he said, with forced nonchalance.

Judy reached across the table with a sudden lunge and yanked the fox by the lapels towards her.

"It worked."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Two weeks later

Hunter walked into ZPD headquarters with a sense of imminent doom, though it wasn't even Monday.

This wasn't entirely unusual, Hunter reflected. When you've been a cop long enough, your doom-sense becomes hyper-developed, and some false positives are natural. On the other hand, a wise cop never completely ignores it.

It wasn't until he sat down in roll call and started hearing the snickers that he began to really worry, though.

Francine walked in, the elephant stepping carefully to avoid the other cops, then noticed Hunter. She grinned. "Hey, Hunter."

"Francine," said Hunter warily.

She sat down next to him and leaned over conspiratorially, which was something like having a building sidle up to you. "So there's this boy I like, and I'm not sure whether he likes me? So maybe you have some advice on that?"

Hunter looked up at her and frowned. "Um..."

"Hey, Hunter," said Delgato. "So I'm trying to think of what to get the wife for our anniversary, and I want something that really stands out-"

"Hey, Hunter," put in Wolferd. "What do you recommend to spice up things in the bedroom?"

Hunter blinked at them. "Okay, I'm missing the joke."

Hopps suddenly looked up, her ears flat along her back. Hunter started- he hadn't even seen her. "They aired the first episode of the reality show they filmed," she said.

"That was fast."

"Reality shows have a quick turnaround, if they want to."

"I still don't understand."

"Well," said Francine. "Once we saw you giving advice to young Hopps and Wilde about their love life, we never realized that we had this treasure trove of relationship wisdom to draw on."

Hunter stared at her. "Excuse me?"

"De Ville planted a microphone on Nick," said Hopps wearily. "And Carlos put one in the patrol car."

"So our conversations-" Hunter sat very still. "All on camera?"

"All broadcast on television," said Delgato happily. "They're calling you the Love Cop!" He struck a pose, hand out with the palm facing outward. "Stop! In the name of Love!"

Hunter rose as the laughter started. "I think I need to talk to the chief."

"Didn't you hear me?" yelled Delgato as he walked out. "In the name of Love I said!"

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hunter stood in front of Bogo, who watched him warily. No frown, not even a twitch could be seen on Hunter's expression. He was the very model of an objective, calm, and reasonable officer.

It was incredibly disturbing. "There's nothing I can do," said Bogo. "Everything you do on the job is considered public- there's no expectation of privacy."

Hunter nodded, very precisely. "Very well. I understand the ZRN people will be back soon?"

"Tomorrow," said the chief, slowly.

"I'd like Mrs. De Ville to be assigned to ride with me."

Bogo looked at him. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"On the contrary, sir, it's a very good idea." Hunter looked at the chief.

He drummed his fingers. "Nothing dangerous."

"Of course, not, sir."

To be honest, Bogo didn't like his officers' private lives put on display like that, either. And he still wasn't happy with how he had been spoken to by the two ZRN mammals. "Okay. But if she says no-"

"Why would she say no?" Hunter smiled. "Didn't I get Carlos some great footage? I promise, the video from our ridealong will be gold."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

De Ville sat quietly next to the tall human. At first she had been overjoyed to ride with Hunter- Carlos kept talking about what a great guy he was, and she had been green with envy at the footage he had gotten.

Her trepidation had started when she and Carlos were walking through ZPD headquarters and they first spotted Hunter.

"Hunter!" called Carlos. She frowned at the note of forced cheer in Carlos's voice, though it was somewhat subtle.

"Carlos," greeted Hunter. He looked down at the smaller mammal as he stopped in front of them. After a moment, he said, "You saved my life."

Carlos smiled weakly. "Yes?"

"So it's a wash." De Ville gave Carlos a confused look as he sighed in relief. Then Hunter looked at her.

"Mrs. De Ville."

"You can call me Claudia, all my friends do," she said, smiling winningly.

He smiled, too, and she had to stop from flinching back. "Well, let's get going, Mrs. De Ville, we've got a lot to do today."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It wasn't long before a call came over the air. "Unit Twenty Seven Charlie, anyone out there with a field test kit?"

Hunter keyed his mike. "Hunter here. On the way."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They arrived and de Ville saw Hopps and the tiger- Delgato- standing by a patrol car. Next to them was a large bag with some sort of white powder. She immediately began filming- that looked like cocaine!

Hunter walked over and glanced at the powder. "Where'd you find it?"

"Anonymous tip," said Delgato. "Said there was a stash in a truck near here, probably a dead drop."

Hunter nodded. "Okay." He pulled a tube containing some liquid out of his pocket. He paused, noticing de Ville filming. "Come on closer, get a real good shot."

She moved closer obediently, getting a solid close up of the baggie. "That's a lot," she said.

"Yeah, an awful lot," replied Hunter, grimly.

He opened the bag and carefully inserted a toothpick, getting a small amount of the powder on it. He then put the powder in the plastic tube and swirled it. Almost immediately, the liquid turned green.

Hunter nodded. "That's it, then."

De Ville smiled. It wasn't a car chase, but a good drug seizure was pretty solid for the first hour. "It's cocaine?"

"Cocaine?" said Hunter in surprise. "No, weaponized Night Howler."

There was a long silence. "Weaponized-" she said faintly.

"Yeah, nasty stuff, a few particles and you go savage like that," said Delgato, snapping his fingers. "Lucky you got your shots, right?"

"Shots?" De Ville started to notice how fast her heart was beating. Was she feeling faint?

"Yeah, the vaccine." Hopps frowned. "Wait, they did give you the vaccine, right?"

"I, uh, no shots-"

The officers all exchanged worried looks. "She's been exposed," said Hunter grimly. "Dammit! I just assumed-"

"There's no time for that," snapped Hopps. "Mrs. De Ville, how are you feeling?"

How as she feeling? "A bit, uh, faint."

"Heart beating faster? I notice you're panting- shit, she's in stage one," said Hunter. He looked at Hopps. "Get the Night Howler gear."

"Gear?" asked de Ville. Yes, her heart was beating faster and faster- she could hear the blood rushing in her ears.

"Don't worry, ma'am, you may go a bit- uh, savage- but we'll get the antidote to you quickly." Hopps returned, carrying a series of straps and a muzzle. "But we need to restrain you- for your safety and ours."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

De Ville stared out of the trunk at the three officers silhouetted against the blue sky. "Is this really necessary?" she asked, her voice muffled through the muzzle.

"Can't be too careful," said Hunter.

The trunk lid closed with a slam.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So that's the joke, then?" said Delgato. "I mean, it's funny and all, but-"

Hunter was getting something from his duty bag. He gave Delgato a flat look. "That was Stage One."

Hopps frowned. "What's Stage Two?"

Hunter held up the bag he had recovered. It contained a big bottle of fake blood and several realistic-looking fake body parts. "I convince her she had amnesia and spray this all over her body and scatter these body parts around."

Delgato and Hopps both gasped. "Isn't that a little cruel, Hunter?" said Hopps.

Hunter walked towards the car. "Yep." He got in and started the engine, looked at them again. "But hilarious."

The two other cops watched him drive off.

"So, never cross Hunter," said Delgato.

"Never cross Hunter," agreed Hopps.

 _Author's Note: So first of all, yes, that's pretty vicious for a practical joke. Hunter can be like that- he tends to be of the "if it doesn't kill you, it's actually pretty funny" school of practical jokes._

 _So thus ends this short story arc. So here are my plans._

 _I'm going to start another long arc, which I will likely post sometime this weekend, hopefully about 5 chapters worth. As I mentioned, I'll probably go to a weekly posting schedule. It will be a different story- that is, not under the_ Hunter's Rules _one- so just check under my author page or whatever if you don't see it. I believe if you have me favorited or followed as an author it should pop up that I've posted it._

 _I may or may not intersperse another shorter story arc with my publishing of the longer one. Depends on if I have a really good short arc idea and want to post it or not._

 _The next story line will be more from Hopps and Wilde's side, I believe, as I would prefer the focus be on them to some extent. Not to say Hunter won't be involved- for a character who was intended primarily as a reaction character to Zootopia's weirdness, he grew quite a bit- but for reasons I won't go into I intend to mostly place the point of view with Hopps and Wilde._

 _Thanks for all reviews/follows/favorites/etc!_


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